Tips for the holidays

Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober
Bobby D
Posts: 64
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:30 am

Tips for the holidays

Postby Bobby D » Tue Dec 14, 2010 4:48 am

Hi all,

Been a while since I posted here... all going pretty well... after 7 months sober had a significant slip/relapse in August ... I'm back on the beam and coming up on 4 months.... Feeling pretty good... working steps...No compulsions.... This is my first holiday season sober.. Thanksgiving wasn't a big deal... BUT...Thursday is my company Christmas party..and.I hold a senior possition in the firm and the expectation is that I attend...I'm not really that concerned as I feel I have the aquired the tools to keep it in perspective and not drink...THAT BEING SAID...there are also several non company sponsered happy hours and such over the next weeks that I'm not as confident I can sucessfully attend.... Any tips anyone can share for me and any one else in the same situation would be welcome..

Thanks and god bless


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Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:50 am

Postby junebug » Tue Dec 14, 2010 2:11 pm

Hi Bobby,

I am 111 days sober and attended my first Christmas function this past Sat. All was well-not too nervous UNTIL we were at a part in the function where I was thinking " hmmmmmm this is nice but a glass of wine would make it even better" I didn't have the craving for it in my mouth (the taste) but wanted to take the enjoyable experience and just make it "that much better" (one of my character defects is GREED)

I had to breathe and just litterally look around for a moment. I don't remember ever attending a social gathering where I wasn't drinking. I went over the pluses: I will remember this tomorrow, I won't have behavior that I will regret, I DON'T have alcohol breathe (not everyone drinks or drinks like me) but the thing I told myself is I WON'T trade a five cent feeling NOW for the ten dollar feeling I will have tomorrow!

Thanks for your sharing.-) Junebug

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Postby Dallas » Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:14 pm

Great topic Bob. And, thanks for sharing Junebug! I'm wishing the best, safest, sanest, sober-est Holiday season ever for both of you!

Bob, I think you'll do well if -- you don't forget that you're alcoholic and that maintaining your sobriety is #1 in your life.

I think this is my 25th Sober Christmas coming up -- with no drinks in between the 1st one & now. :wink:

Holidays like Christmas & New Years Celebrations are not easy when we're new. For a few years they were the most shakey times of year for me. A lot of memories -- conscious & sub-conscious -- will be going on and producing emotions that we expect and many that we didn't expect.

What I did that helped me was:

1. I carried a card around with me that read: "First Things First". I put one in each of my pockets. I placed them everywhere I could see them and tapped one to the dash of my car.

This helped me to remember -- that I'm alcoholic and because I'm alcoholic my sobriety must come first.

I had another little card with me that I carried and read often. On the front it had the AA Preamble. Inside was the 12 Steps. Next to the 12 Steps was the 3rd Step Prayer, and on the back was The Serenity Prayer. I carried a few of those because I'd wear them out reading them!

2. I did a lot of praying. I'd bop into the bathroom, bathroom stall, or somewhere where I could be alone and I would pray and read those cards.

3. I'd go to a meeting right before and right after main events. If the event was long -- I'd go to a meeting in between. And, I kept another little card with me -- that had AA help telephone numbers & contacts on it. I'd make it a point to find a place to make telephone calls in between events and during the events to talk to another supportive sober alkie AA member.

With those three things -- it helped me stay connected to me, to God, and to the Fellowship -- to help me stay connected to my Sobriety.

Something else I'd do before important appointments was: I'd visualize ahead of time -- the misery & the loss -- and I'd max it out in my mind and picture the mess -- of what would happen if I took just one drink! It would lead to another, another, another, lost jobs, lost positions, loss of freedom, law suits, and you name it up the ying yang! :lol:

All you've got to do is: Not have the first drink. If you don't have the first drink -- you won't have the second drink, and the third, and the 100th!

First Things First!

Dallas B.

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Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:48 am

Postby Sermon » Wed Dec 15, 2010 4:50 pm

Hey Guys,

We talked about this last night at the meeting. This will be my second christmas/ thanksgiving sober. I do have an experience going to a 4th of July party that one of my best friends puts on each year. The usual Texas 4th of July stuff went on, bbq, fireworks, beer, liquor. What I did before I went was I went to a meeting and I explained what I was about to do.

See one of the things that I go through is I tend to try and keep small secrets about things that bother me.... my thinking will tell me "none wants to hear you babble about going to a party, This is not a topic for AA... etc...." (Maybe I'm just crazy). But it's what I will do left to my own devices. So I shared about going to the party. Some people said that I should not go, some said I could depending on my spiritual condition!! I was alright with the idea so I went. Another thing that I did was I told a couple of people in our group that if I started to feel uncomfortable I'd txt them and have them call me to make it seem important that I left (always have an exit). I also set a rule for myself. My rule was, when they start telling the same stories twice,(which they will) it's time for me to go. Hope this helps for you and may GOD bless and be with you. Have a great holiday everyone. Good, Clean, Sober FUN!!!!!!

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Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:50 am

Postby junebug » Wed Dec 15, 2010 5:15 pm

Thanks to both of you for your sharing. Helpful!!!!!

Bobby D
Posts: 64
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:30 am


Postby Bobby D » Sat Dec 18, 2010 5:54 am

Thursday went fine.. wasn't the first one there and left relatively early...AND rememebred the whole thing with no concerns that I might have been a jerk... skipped the after parties went home and watched the football game.......heading out to a meeting right now....


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Postby Toast » Sun Dec 19, 2010 4:53 am

Well my works Christmas party was midday last friday and i used the age old excuse, i called in sick and spent the day reading a good book. :lol:

The real danger for us, no matter how long we're sober, is if we go and have a good time standing at the bar drinking coke by the gallon the next day we may think we're cured and go back to the bar just to drink even more coke and to hear yet more bar room tales of phoney bravado. Then after our third gallon of coke we get sick of the taste and need something to spice it up? As my sponsor says 'you dont go into a brothel for a kiss'. :wink:

Or we could revert to being people pleasers and go to the party just to make someone else happy, this could be our boss, wife, co-workers etc. AA has taught me people pleasing is a double edges sword. If i'm successful and everyone is happy at what i've 'done for them' then i'm obviously due some sort of reward? And if this much deserved reward is not forthcoming then i'll just go fix it myself. And how do Alcoholics reward themselves?


Stick close to AA and you'l have a wonderful safe and sober Christmas!

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