First timer needs help

Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober
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Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:03 pm

First timer needs help

Postby SarahSue » Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:10 pm

I am ready to begin the steps and looking for support. Can someone please share some steps for a first timer? Thank you.

Bobby D
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Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:30 am


Postby Bobby D » Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:31 pm

First.. you have come to the right place..This is a great site.. Welcome !

I understand how hard it is to reach out for the first time and ask for help...

The first step is admitting you are powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable.... for me embracing that step has made the difference.... again for me... it is important to remind myself of this simple truth.. because once I start feeling better .. healthier and better about myself, I forget just how unmanageable life had become... once that happens it's only a matter of time before I'm right back to square one...

I only have 6 1/2 months sober this time ( third try ! ) around... This is a pretty cool site... the people here have a wealth of knowledge and experience... I think you'll find that many of the "regular" posters here will give you the best advice and insight as to what to expect....If you hang around long enoough you'll here something that rings true for you and sounds almost like your own stiory.......

Regards and god bless...Bob

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Postby sunlight » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:23 am

Do you have a sponsor? She is your best guide through the steps.

Also, listening at meetings and asking others at meetings about their experiences taking the steps is very valuable. I learned so much just by asking! :wink:

Can't post long, off to work....... :D

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Taking the 12 Steps

Postby Dallas » Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:14 pm

First... before you do anything, including getting a sponsor -- get yourself a copy of the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous"... Read it starting ON the front cover and don't skip a page... and read it all the way up to the end of page 103.

DO NOT start with Chapter 5, How it works, or it will be like shooting yourself in the foot! :wink:

Get yourself a notepad or notebook and as you read through the book, write down any questions that come up for you, and make note of any observations of "identification" ... especially from the front cover up through the end of Chapter 1, Bill's Story.

When you've done that -- come back here, and I'll ask you some questions and give you a test on what you've read.

Then... we'll discuss "taking" the Steps.

Best wishes,

Dallas B.

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Postby Dallas » Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:22 pm

Note... take it with skepticism, what you hear from other members about the Steps in discussion meetings. If you listen to & do a lot of the stuff you hear in the discussion meetings -- you'll have to un-learn most of what you learned & heard.

The ONLY authority on the 12 Steps... and "taking the 12 Steps"... IS the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. If you can't find what you hear -- specifically in that book -- then, don't even waste your time thinking about it. The Big Book IS "the Official" AA Plan of Recovery. If you'll follow the instructions in that book -- to the best of your ability -- you'll never have to drink again -- AND you can re-create and re-build your life way better than anything that you can imagine for yourself! I GUARANTEE it!

If you're as alcoholic as I am -- and hopefully you're not -- your life depends on what you find in that book. If you're not as alcoholic as I am -- but, you're still an alcoholic, or potential alcoholic -- your life still depends on what you find in that book! :wink:

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Postby PeaceJoy » Thu Mar 17, 2011 7:34 am

Keep coming back Sarah Sue. Have you been to an AA meeting? They really are amazing. Good luck!


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Postby Pebbles » Sun Mar 20, 2011 10:53 am

For me, I had to admit to my inner-most self that I was an alcoholic before I could honestly do the First Step--hitting that core of honesty and having no reservations whatsoever was key for me. Then, I went to my first meeting, and started looking for a sponsor has saved my life, literally!!

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Postby djmnyc » Thu Apr 07, 2011 2:08 pm

I'd take the advice of others and get a sponsor to help you through the steps. Remember, a sponsor is somebody to help you through the steps - not a therapist, not necessarily emotional support, not somebody to call every time you have a problem (although you might anyway) - but somebody to help you work the program of AA as outlined in the Big Book.

The steps are really quite simple. I, personally, could not deal with my feelings, or with life in general, so I just drank a lot to numb myself. Over the years, problems accumulated, and I had no way to deal with them except more alcohol. Of course, all that drinking created more problems, which I didn't deal with, and a downward spiral occurred. Eventually alcohol couldn't numb me sufficiently and my life was in such obvious disarray that I needed help.

Many alcoholics who come to AA are in a similar position. Steps 1-3 are about acknowledging that you need help and can't do it yourself. That's what we're here for. Steps 4-9 are about cleaning house. You can't expect to stay sober unless you've taken care of all the damage you've done to yourself and others while drinking. Steps 10-12 are about maintaining your spiritual condition. It's like doing the dishes regularly so that you don't end up with a big stinking pile of them again.

Whatever you do, don't buy it if people say "just don't drink and go to meetings." Of course, you should do that, but if that's all you do for years, you will have a harder time staying sober. AA is based around the Big Book and the steps, and the only way to really work AA is to use the Big Book. There are other, non 12-step recovery programs out there, but if you're going with AA you should go all the way.

Best wishes!

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Postby Dallas » Thu Apr 07, 2011 2:12 pm

Thanks for sharing djmnyc, Welcome to the site!

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Postby jzarvey » Mon May 23, 2011 1:38 pm

There is a lot of wisdom in the above posts. Hopefully I can add to it with my experience.

For me the hardest thing after admitting I was an alcoholic was admitting I needed help from others. I was one of those people that thought I could do everything on my own. Finding a sponsor was a hard thing for me because I had to admit I couldn't do everything by myself. It was the best thing I ever did because without finding someone to take me through the steps, I would have been working "My Program" instead of "The Program."


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