Yep. I'm here.
I guess you're stuck w/ me.
I understand. My first Christmas sober sucked! Yes, I was grateful to be sober... No, I was not a happy camper. I was a miserable shaking wreck and I had already been sober for about six weeks.
I got lucky and found some AA club houses that were having holiday 24 hr round the clock marathon meetings -- and late at night some of them were having sober dances. (How could anyone dance... sober... especially sober at Christmas time?)
I've never had a husband and I know that I never will. So, I can't relate to being sober and having a drunken husband puke on a bus. However, once upon a time, after having 5 1/2 months of AA sobriety.... I was down in Mexico sipping w/ a girlfriend and she was puking on the beach. I laughed as I said "You see Marie? That's why I don't drink anymore!" (And, all along that night I had been delusional about me being sober... I had been buying Marie drinks, I'd sip on them and think I was sober because it was HER drink!)
That worked out well for me until the sun came up and I headed out of the hotel at day light to wake up a Mexican bartender to make Marie six extra tall "Mexican Coffees" for when she woke up! (Mexican coffee = Kaluaha, tequila, coffee, whipped cream & nutmeg on top). When she woke up she told me she didn't like coffee.
So, I had to sip 'em down for her.
At breakfast, I was able to convince her that a shot of tequila would make her feel better after the night before... and it did. And, I still ordered her another Mexican Coffee to go w/ her breakfast... which I could sip on, but I'd still be sober because "it was HER's and NOT mine!)
We alcoholics seem to do some baffling, cunning, strange and weird things... but somehow, we seem to buck up and have some kind of fun out of it.
Or... maybe it's just... we know what the bottom of hell is really like, and we've learned to try to have fun in our pain & suffering as we lie to ourselves and keep saying "Well... this ain't so bad, after all, Ma! I've definitely seen worse! But, at least the wind has stopped blowing!"
Then... we land our butts in AA, and run around trying to help each other, and I'll be danged if it doesn't end up keeping us sober! And, a few Christmases down the road, if we stay sober... we're sitting in a meeting talking about puking and cleaning up puke and laughing about it. We don't often laugh about it when it's going on -- but it's when we stay sober and look back on it, that we get to laugh at those tragic moments.
Outsiders look at us like we're nuts (well... I guess we are) as we try to put a cheerful spin and laugh about our past miseries. But, why shouldn't we laugh? We know first hand what it's like to be suffering in the hell of life... yet we survived.
My heart & thoughts are w/ you -- in the Fellowship of the Spirit, even though my body can't be there to listen or to sip coffee w/ you. But, yes... I'm here for you. And, I thank you for being here for me, too.
Hmmmmmm....... Just trying to figure out what thing of value that I could say that would help to make your night a little bit better. Sorry, if I come up empty handed. But, I do care about you. Your sharing your problem has helped me. And, I hope that I've at least said something that might help. The one thing that ALWAYS helped me was when someone would say to me "Keep Coming Back -- Sober! You'll be glad that you did!" So, I pass that on to you as well and I hope that it helps you as much as it has helped me.
Best wishes for now, for the Holidays, and for your sober adventures in the future!
Dallas
Sobriety isn't easy, especially nearer Christmas time (this is my first Christmas sober) and I feel utterly unsupported.
