- HALF MEASURES AVAILED US NOTHING

HALF MEASURES AVAILED US NOTHING




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

HALF MEASURES AVAILED US NOTHING

Postby MKL » Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:06 pm

I've been sober since 1987, got a Big Book sponsor, and started working steps. I first came around AA in 1984 and went in and out for 3 years until i became convinced i had to to all the 12 steps, half measures availed me nothing for 3 years. Now a days i see more and more alkies at meetings talking that just meetings are enough and then they wonder why they keep going out or why they can't stop hurting thise they love. Meetings without working steps is like going to the dr and not taking what he prescribes, it won't work. Nothing grieves me more in AA then seeing others do the "half measures game" amd losing their families or their lives. I know i sound like a bleeding deacon, but when i sobered up the old timers didn't pull any punches, they told me if i didn't do the steps and i was a real alkie that i would either die or go permantly insane, and so it was with me. I was in the gates of permanent insanity but God pulled me back-when i worked steps.
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Postby dimples12562 » Mon Feb 27, 2012 4:59 pm

I'm right there with ya MKL!! I spent almost 4 years in a relationship with another AA (7 years my sober sr) and neither of us worked the steps...we did 1 meeting a week and an occassional speaker meeting :( It was a train wreck!! We are apart now and I wish him well. It almost took me back out. I'm working the steps now, making as many meetings a week as I can (5-6) I have a great Sponsor and things are looking up. What a difference my life looks like through emotionally (gettin there anyway) sober eyes :shock:
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Postby Dallas » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:26 pm

Thanks for sharing this topic MKL.

I was sitting out in my backyard earlier today, doing some business writing, when this same topic came up in my mind. So, I put down my business writing, and began reflecting w/ my AA hat on.

I try to avoid thinking in negative terms -- but, sometimes, to stay in reality, we have to look at the dark side and the light side of situations.

The Light side is -- we have a few very small pockets of enthusiasm where the AA fires are burning brightly. The groups have structure, discipline, sponsorship, they focus on recovery and integrity -- and they pretty much do it by staying centered and focused in the Big Book and being active in healthy group fellowship activities.

Then, on the Dark side, it appears that we have a many meetings, that call themselves groups -- and the lights are off.

It's very obvious that the small pockets of enthusiasm is greatly out-numbered.

What ends up happening, as I've experienced and observed it is: The majority of new people that first come into AA, often bouncing from one A to another A, and back to AA... report that their experience in the other A's isn't as good as it is in AA.

Sometimes, I begin to wonder ... with so many groups in AA experiencing problems, and the other A's coming to AA to try to get better, even though they don't identify -- where is it all going to end up, in the very near future?

A couple of friends of mine, and they were my AA book mentors, passed away over the last few years. They had been very instrumental over the last 25/30 yrs -- of taking Big Book Studies all over the world -- which many of todays current pockets of enthusiasm, got their fires burning and got to moving as a result of Joe & Charlie's 12 Step work with the BB.

When they passed -- they left a huge hole, that as of yet, I haven't seen it filled. Their work with the book was a re-lighting of the fire in AA, and got carried over to many of the other A's as well.

With all that said -- my head is still with "Will we weather the storm? What can we do -- to turn it around? And, is it too late to turn it around?"

Perhaps, those were the same questions that were being asked by many, in the early 80's -- who observed the same problems back then, that we are seeing today, within the Fellowship.

And, it causes me to wonder: "Has it ever really -- been any different than it is now?"

One thing, that I think many of us could may (or may not) agree upon is: We need some sort of AA revival going on -- to revive AA.

My focus is to try and work w/ as many "one on one" situations that I can. Of course, it's pretty limited, and I often wonder if I'm making much of a difference. A very few will seem to get it -- and the majority will return to the bounce. When I have talks w/ those who returned to the bounce -- they indicate to me, that "peer pressure" inside the fellowship was too great for them to persist in "doing it differently" so, they "returned to the familiar."

I really hope that this topic will take off and interest many of the AA's here from all around the world -- to comment. At least it will let me know "Is it me -- that just has an altered perception, and am I not really seeing things as they are?" Or... is this really going on.

Thanks for your share.

Dallas
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Postby MKL » Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:49 am

Because of my work in the oil and gas industry, i've had the chance to live in alot of different states living in predominantly small towns. My wife and i live in a small town in SW Pennsylvania where no one , i mean no wants to really talk about the message in the 164 of the BB and even tho i've only been here about a year the word is to stay away from me because i'm a BB worker. Over 90% of the alkies at meetings are loaded on some kind of antidepressant or antianxiety medication, all they want to talk about is how bad they feel about themselves, not how to work steps. AA as i know it, doesn't exist in this town.I've seen it over and over where ever i've traveled. I agree with what you said Dallas, there are small pockets all over that are dedicated to to doing the work, but for the most part the AA i've been to all over resembles group theraphy at a psch ward rather than a bonifide AA meeting. The predominant meeting in this town is called "how do i feel today" meeting where everyone throws up on the table burdens everyone else how badly they feel about themselves and their problems. To me this is not AA all.

When i sobered up the oldtimers told me"f**k my feelings, that my feelings lie to me and to just concentrate on going to meetings and WORKING STEPS., and helping others, it's what i teach, mentor to others. For me AA about God, working steps, helping other alkies and making the lives around us better. I do that by working steps, working at a paying job so i can afford to help others and serve my family as i don't believe being poor and being spiritual are the same thing, i believe with a good paying job i have more freedom to help others, which i have. To do Gods work doesn't mean staying poor or being poor tho when i sobered up all i could get was a dishwashers job that enabled me to get my feet grounded in God and the BB.

One of the pervasive delusions i hear at meetings all the time is that you can't help others unless you feel good about yourself, which is pure bs. If we hurt those who loved us we should feel bad, if we don't we don't have a conscience. I didn't drink because i had a bad selfesteem, i drank because i loved how booze made feel more than anything else, because i'm a comfort junkie and all cared about was myself. I tell the alkies i sponsor and have sponsored that the 12 steps aren't about building a good selfesteem that the 12 steps are about building and maintaining a relationship with God so we can as it says on top of page 77 in the BB " fit ourselves to be of max usefullness to those around us."

I believe AA does need a revival back to the simplicity of working steps as per the BB and needs to get rid of the selfinvolving, selfobsessing pyschobabble which has destroyed and is destroying AA from within.

I the BB and the 12 steps and hope this topic, like Dallas said stirs up more talk about what we can do .
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Postby dimples12562 » Tue Feb 28, 2012 12:36 pm

MKL wrote:When i sobered up the oldtimers told me"f**k my feelings, that my feelings lie to me and to just concentrate on going to meetings and WORKING STEPS., and helping others, .


So much of this is so far over my head I can't even see it!! Until I read the above from MLK. I get that. THAT makes sense and its exactly what my Spons tells me.

Step Three EVERY DAY for me!! Don't listen to my feelings of self pity and rationalization (thats my disease talkin to me), Study the BB, work the steps, go to meetings, earn a living, be productive, help another AA and do NO HARM! Spread the word, one person at a time Dallas!! YOU are making a difference! As are you MKL!! You both have helped me prop up my leanin side side today... :)
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Postby Dallas » Tue Feb 28, 2012 1:26 pm

Thanks for your messages today. Everything I've read here this morning -- I recognize how much I NEEDED to read it!

I have no doubts about it -- I can't do the deal, alone. No matter how willing I get, no matter how long I've been sober, no matter how much I might think I have grown, and, no matter how far down I've gone, either -- the God that I understand, is the God, that lives inside each one of you.

If I want to improve my "conscious contact" with God -- I have to work on and maintain my "conscious contact" with you! If I want to stay close to God -- I have to stay close to you.

I'd just like to send a shout out to each of you, of "thank you -- for helping me today! I appreciate you!"

Dallas
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Postby dimples12562 » Tue Feb 28, 2012 1:43 pm

Dallas wrote:I'd just like to send a shout out to each of you, of "thank you -- for helping me today! I appreciate you!"


Backatcha Brother!!! :D
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Postby Jebtion12345 » Sun Mar 04, 2012 9:02 am

I love this forum and the enthusiasm. It has become such a nice addition to my recovery and learning the program.
I am closing in on 8 months and for the first time in a decade of slipping after picking up a few chips am feeling more clear and happy and less of the feeling of wanting to beat my head against a wall as in the past.
I always got a sponsor and fellow shipped but never read the book or worked the steps with a sponsor until this time around.
The peer pressure thing I can already feel. I was at my home group and it was a great meeting over all. The lead was of the type that said if anything go to meetings and the steps will work you eventually. She said she did not work the step for about 5 years in (she has 32 years). I shared that my experience of slipping shows me that I cannot white knuckle sobriety. I never once did not pick up a drink if I wanted to. I left meetings and drank. I copped resentments and had no tools (steps) to help me deal. I drank. I tried to remain sober on self knowledge (step 1) and kept slipping. I shared the dont drink go to meetings (she mentioned) did not work for me. I am an alcoholic that lost all power in taking the first drink and dont drink implies will power. I used to feel demoralized on a slip. I thought I was weak. Now I see it was that I had not found a HP to be my defense.
Anyway, it seems I am one of the few in the home group to have such zeal. I pray for tolerance and open mindedness so I do not feel like a know it all. But I feel I have to speak my truth when at a beginners meeting dont drink go to meetings is spoke of.
I used to think I was one of the unfortunates but now see I needed to pick up the spiritual tool kit.
Take it easy, easy does it, selfish program, cafeteria style program --- take what you need ---- I can use these to rationalize a drink (used to do it!).... I dont want to parrot information I have heard over the years but I feel I am being a rebel or something and fear that it could be self will run riot.
Thanks for letting me share
Happy Sunday to all
Joseph
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Postby Dallas » Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:24 am

Powerful sharing Joseph. Thank you!

My sponsor slipped in and out of AA for 10 years. Last November I went to celebrate his 53rd consecutive year sober birthday party with him. The reason I picked him as my sponsor was: because of his zeal and enthusiasm and dedication and commitment to AA. It's pretty hard to pull the wool over someone's eye when they have 10 years experience of knowing what not to do. :wink: And, now, 53 years of doing what they know to do.

Tolerance. That's a tough one that I still have to work on. When we do have zeal and enthusiasm and we do the deal -- we become like a bright spot light, or a lighthouse. Even though we do not intend to shine a light on anyone else -- nor, do we even "try to be a light" -- the light shines on those who are hiding in the shadows -- and they feel threatened and intimidated. We're not trying to intimidate anyone. They already feel bad about their selves -- and the only thing they know how to do, to try and feel better, is to try and tear us down to their level and below. We have to remember that this is the only tool they have to cope. And, we have to remember that this is one of the the prices that we have to pay for our zeal and enthusiasm. For me, when they try to tear down -- I let that remind me that I must be doing something right or they wouldn't waste so much of their time thinking or talking about me. :wink:

It's great to hear from you! Thanks for your inspiring sharing this morning! I needed to hear it.

Dallas
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