In a panic

Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:25 am

In a panic

Postby petra » Sun Mar 11, 2012 12:03 pm

Hello guys,

I have been signed up to this forum for a while, but this is the first time I have posted.
I often use online real-time meetings as well as my awsome f2f meetings, and my other resources.

The online meeting site I use has crashed - and I am in a bit of a flap. I recognise this as a common facet of the alcoholic, that if I am not to drink I want help/companionship/a solution RIGHT NOW, but this if not always possible in this life is it.

I have 16 days sober, and really want to keep those days adding up - as I love how it feels to be sober!

Would be great if anyone chats via. skype/messenger etc - as not really sure how the whole forum thing works for AA

If anyone could point me in the right direction, or give me a good kick up the backside, that would be super :D

Thanks for reading xx

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Postby Dallas » Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:29 pm

Hello Petra! Welcome to the site.

I'm not really into Skype/chat, have never even tried it, so I can't help you w/ that.

I do know what it's like to be alcoholic. I know what it's like to panic. And, I know what it's like to be dependent on fellowship, etcetera. None of that ever worked out very well for me.

During my first venture into sobriety I was going to numerous meetings each day and thought I was getting better. Yet, I took a small trip and it was only 24 hrs and I was back to drinking again.

I tried sobering up again -- figuring "all I got to do is get to meetings" and everything will be okay and I can stay sober again.

That didn't work for me either. I'd have to leave the meeting to go get a drink so I could come back to finish the rest of the meeting. I never did finish the rest of the meeting.

The best advice I ever got was when I was a little more than 60 days sober, on this go-around of sobriety.... My sponsor told me that he had never seen an alcoholic of my type that was able to stay sober! And, this man had 17 yrs in AA sober, and helped numerous alcoholics.

He told me that my ONLY hope was: that I had better find a Higher Power, that was greater than him, greater than all the people in AA combined, and greater than the meetings -- because it would be my only hope of sobriety.

At a little more than 60 days -- I had to do a road-trip across the U.S. to make some amends. I had been told that my mother was soon to die -- and if I were going to make amends to her -- I had better do it now!

I was TERRIFIED! (Beyond panic).

I had been sober the first time for 5 1/2 months -- when I got drunk 24 hrs away from the fellowship... and this time, I was barely 60 days sober, and was facing a 3,000 mile drive across the country, passing thousands of liquor stores, bars, drug dealers, and everything in between.

My sponsor told me: "You go ahead and go. And, on the trip -- you better find that HP! If you do -- you're going to be alright. And, if you don't -- you won't be able to stay sober anyway."

So, that's what I did.

I couldn't find "just any HP" and it couldn't be the "HP that I thought I once knew something about" because I had tried that before -- and, it didn't work for me.

So, I hit my knees. Prayed a lot to try and connect w/ some HP and did a whole lot of thinking, writing and learning through experience (not through books and not through someone telling me what to believe.)

You see -- it had to be a "Higher Power as I understood it -- NOT as THEY understood it."

Well. I stayed sober. I made the amends. I've been to all kinds of places that I had business being and had NO business being -- and I stayed sober.

When I took the 12 Steps, I used the 12 Steps as "the Power Greater than myself"... because I was still confused about anything else.

Through the 12 Steps I found what I had been searching for, and today, it's been 9,249 days since my last drink or drug.

My life has really gotten good -- and I don't even remember the last time I had a panic attack. :wink:

That's what worked for me. I don't know if it will be any good for you -- I only know that it worked for me. And, I hope that you can find something in it -- that will be of help to you.

Wishing the best for you!


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