The first Step in recovery is that we finally become convinced that we are REAL alcoholics. And, we understand what that means for us. We admit that we are powerless over controlling alcohol. We accept that in regards to alcohol -- we virtually have NOT got enough will power to have any control over alcohol. We have lost our choice over to drink -- or not to drink. And, if we desire sobriety -- or even just to stay alive and out of jail or institutions -- that we can NOT have so much as even one sip of ANY alcohol at all
" -- Our lives had become unmanageable." We finally admit -- that on our own Power -- we cannot manage to stay sober. We need help. And, we need help that is greater than ALL the Human Power that there is.
It is because of this First Step in Recovery -- IF we have truly taken the First Step -- that we become willing, to go through with the rest of the Steps -- which is -- the rest of the program. If there is any reservations at all in our minds, such as "I just won't drink today -- and tomorrow I'll decide if I drink or not" -- we haven't completed taking the First Step. And, it means we need to go back and find out the information that we are missing and take this Step -- OR, the tomorrow, down the road, a choice will be made for us -- that we will drink again. And, for us alcoholics -- to drink is to die.
When I look back over my drinking experiences -- I can't remember one single time that I "drank normally." Sure. There were many times that I drank and didn't get drunk or get into trouble. But, in some way -- my drinking at that particular time was not a wise, sane, healthy, or mature idea. Most often -- even the one or two drink experiments were absolutely foolish! And, they were VERY risky -- because I truly did not know -- what I MIGHT do next -- after having the one drink.
Of course, my mind did not believe this at the time -- because I had an alcoholic mind. The alcoholic mind will tell us anything (all lies) to keep us convinced that "we are normal and our drinking is normal." The alcoholic mind -- would rather DIE than to admit -- that it cannot have so much as one tiny sip -- of any alcohol at all. The alcoholic mind -- would rather die than to admit -- that it can NEVER safely drink any alcohol at all.
When I look back on loose statements that I used to make -- thinking they were just figures of speech -- they are very revealing to me. I'd say things like "Man. I'm dying for a drink! I can't wait for the clock to hit drinking time!"
In reality -- I was dying FOR a drink -- AND my mind was killing me WITHOUT a drink.
I didn't NEED a drink -- I HAD TO drink!
If you've reached that same place, like I did -- the good news is: Steps 2 through 12 will bring you the relief that you need.
If you haven't reached the same place, like I did -- the bad news is -- you're still NOT off the hook! LOL. I discovered, and most of us make the discovery that -- we were REAL alcoholics -- MANY years BEFORE we looked like or acted like what we thought alcoholics look and act like.