Thanks Anne -- that was your quote that I was trying to remember.
This time, I'm going to write it down!!!
I thought of all the times that it would be handy to have it... that maybe I should print up some little cards to have them ready to hand out!.
It's kind of interesting how the "physical withdrawal" thing worked for me. I got to thinking of this, after reading Paul and Molly's messages.
A couple of weeks before I landed in A.A. the first time -- I was having extreme withdrawal symptoms. Then, for some unknown-to-me reason -- after I got to an A.A. marathon meetings -- and the withdrawals didn't seem to be as bad. I'm not sure if it was because my mind was occupied trying to sort this AA thing out, that it left less time to think about me -- or, maybe I was still shaking really bad, and I just don't remember it. It was probably the later -- because I did have a ton of alcohol in my body when I got to the meetings -- and, as usually is true for me -- others are able to see me better than I'm able to see myself!
Perhaps, too -- it was my "alcoholic denial" that prevented me from seeing how badly I was shaking and feeling -- and I was using all that was within me, to make a good enough appearance to prove that I was not alcoholic!
Then, after I started drinking again and couldn't get sober the next time(s) I chose to get sober -- my physical symptoms grew worse.
After I did get my second chance at sobriety, I remember being told that within about three weeks the physical withdrawals would lighten up -- and, it seemed to take much longer than that for me. Of course, it might have been my head producing the symptoms more than it was my body that was producing the symptoms -- so, I still have no definitive information about my sobering up that I can totally rely on!!!
Getting sober again was the HARDEST thing I've ever been through in my whole life! That... I know for sure!!! I know that some people have a fear of drinking again -- and, the fear that I have, more than the fear of drinking again -- is the fear of going through what it was like to get sober!!! That's a fear that I haven't wanted God to remove from me! I think it's good for my health -- to remember how painful it was getting sober and the pain of getting sober again, is a memory that I have been able to access in every single AA meeting that I've attended, since getting sober. I want to remember "what I was like" -- so, that if ever tempted to turn back, or... during those times when my "willingness" seems to be waning -- it seems to work like a self-induced motivator to immediately consider my course of actions and to "get into me into the directions of right actions!"
It sure is nice to have all of you here -- in this forum, to share with, and to receive your shares! What a blessing and an opportunity and a privilege it is for me to be here with you! Thanks to all of you for the messages that you share -- that help me to keep going about and doing the things that lead me to still waters and greater peace of mind!
I appreciate all of you!