- Back to AA and know everything!!!

Back to AA and know everything!!!




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Back to AA and know everything!!!

Postby DebbieV » Wed Jun 27, 2007 4:11 pm

I have been sober for 26 days now but I had over 2 years, 11 years ago, the thing that is giving me a little trouble is I know alot of things that people are telling me, I have worked the steps a few time before, now I get this feeling in my head ever once in a while like "I dont need to do this, or hear that I already did it" But I know that I must have not done something right or I would'nt have gone back out. I'm afraid I may be my worst enemy right now, some days I feel like I have it down and others I feel like I know less than I did when I came in the first time.
I dont want to get cocky with my program but I dont want to be so afraid of going back out again that it keeps in the same place and no forward progress is made.
Have any of you who are sober for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc time ever had this happen with you? Any thoughts on how to be humble without questioning every move you make would be so helpfull.

I'm so glad I found this forum and the people in it, you help me everyday.

Deb
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Postby garden variety » Wed Jun 27, 2007 11:22 pm

Hi Deb,

Sounds like the thing that might be missing now, and was probably missing before is the tool you pick up in the 5th step which is ACCOUNTABILITY. That was the first thing to go with me and I've been out only once and that was after 6 years - I got more than that back now but it was a painful lesson.

What I do today is call at least 4 members from my home group with more years of sobriety than me on a daily basis just to be accountable which includes my sponsor. And I leave messages on their machines if they are not there. I made a habit out of this. Then if my mind gets goofy, these guys can pick up any kind of change in me long before I know it. They can hear it in my voice.

Here's an example. I called my sponsor one night not long ago as I usually do every night, and that guy kept on asking me "Is everything OK?" He must have asked me 4 - 5 times that night if everything was OK and was I OK. I said why does he keep asking me?

Well as it was, I was having a bout of "irritability" that I will get the day before I get a real real bad migraine headache. That also usually happens when there is a big storm with lots of low pressure that's moving in. The next day I was sicker than a dog with a severe migraine. Now it didn't matter much to me because I knew I was irritable, and I kept on "turning it over" (my will and my irritability) but that day it was like every half-hour and I was kinda wondering why I was getting irritated. But I was in the "automatic" or "intuitive" state and was seeking relief from my Higher Power. I just do these things automatically whenever I feel the slightest bit irritated. So I got through that day and evening without any hostilities and I was calm again and thought nothing of it.

But the next day - Bammo! I was a wreck and sick. See there - my sponsor picked that up in my voice even before I knew what was going on, and he was calling me on it because he thought I was having an urge to drink.

So my suggestion is to stay accountable to other human beings on a daily basis. Never mind if the only thing you talk about is the weather. If they have more sobriety in years than you, they will pick up before you when your mind is quietly telling you lies. They just know it and can pick it out.

There is another thing. There is this passage on page 164 of the book and I suggest that you meditate and pray on it to keep yourself humble especially since you been around for a spell and admit you might think you "know it all". "We realize we know only a little" is the passage - Every day I ask God to keep me mindful of that fact because I don't know hardly anything, and if I think I do, then my big fat self-centered ego needs to go on a diet.
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Postby anniemac » Thu Jun 28, 2007 3:17 pm

Hi Debbie,

Well, I don't have experience with having had sobriety and then losing it and coming back. But, I certainly have experience with thinking I know it all!! :oops: What I'm learning is that even with things I thought I knew, there are other or deeper ways to look at them, to be more open to them, etc. And also, I spent a lot of time "intellectually" knowing something, yet unable to integrate it in to my heart and soul, and to turn it in to action. Like, I could go on and on about how meditation is so wonderful, it's life-changing, etc., I grasp the concept of how fantastic meditation is...and think that just because I "get it" in my head, that absolves me of having to actually do it! :shock:

Humility does not come easily for me; I am prideful and can be arrogant. When I get that way, friends remind me that one can't be too stupid for AA, but one can be too smart for it. The minute my head says "yeah, but..." or "I know", that's red alert to me that I am shutting down and not listening because I think I know it all.

I've been coming around for 5 years and I hardly know anything; so how could you have known it all in just 2 years? Wait, I know! You're smarter than the rest, right? :lol: Yup, me too -- til I realized just how little I truly know.

It's great that you realize that you are in a 'know-it-all' mind-set, to me that's the first step of changing something - knowing we've got it to begin with. Now you can go about looking for the solution!

Congratulations of Day 27!!
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Postby DebbieV » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:15 am

I'm Debbie and I'm an Alcoholic,

Thanks for the input guys, I was given a great gift by a great friend, they told me to go to bed each night and pray to God to forget everything I think I know about God, AA, and myself. I don't know if I believed in the power of prayer before, but I do now, just saying that one prayer has given me a peace I so needed, I also feel like I can start over and learn in a way that I wasnt able to before, I truly beleive I was given a new chace at life the day I walked back into this program, and all I want to do is be a sponge and soak up all I can, and do what I am told even if I dont want to or understand why, JUST DO IT!! and that is what I try to do for 24 hours at a time :idea: Life is a journey for me today and I love being on that journey clean and sober. Just goes to show you the more you think you know the more you learn you know nothing, but the learning is so much fun when I do it with Gods help.
Thank you so much to the person who gave me that prayer, today I feel humble enough to listen to people with 50 years or 50 days sober.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
God bless the people in this program who really do want to help stuborn, hard-headed people like myself stay sober one more day.
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Postby Dallas » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:27 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hey!!! Kewl!!! I pray that prayer, too!!!

KCB!

Dallas

Happy, joyous and free!!! Safe, sane and sober!!! :lol:
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Second Chance

Postby musicmode » Tue Jul 03, 2007 7:41 am

Second chance...

There's something I heard way back in the fog and forgot 'til you brought it to the surface, Debbie. I heard the others talk about this, and my sponsor talked more in depth with me about this...that we have been given a second chance. I heard, though, to be cautious about what usually goes along with that statement: Given a second chance to do things right. We can maybe go back and try to set things right, but guard against those expectations. We've been given a second chance to live--sober...not perfect, or "right" by whatever society says. If we do our best to live by the principles, which takes time and adjustment...lots of time...lots of adjustment, we will experience growth, and productivity. Progression, not perfection. :wink:

Keep It Simple,
Anne
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Postby carol1017 » Tue Jul 03, 2007 4:32 pm

Debbie, thanks for the reminder!

Every time I think I know everything about AA, God, or sobriety, I am in danger of becoming complacent, and complacency will kill me.

I have to remain open-minded and teachable in order to work this program and maintain my sobriety.

It's like humility -- if you think you got it, you don't! :lol:
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Postby littlemiss » Wed Oct 03, 2007 1:42 pm

Just want you all to know how grateful I am to have found this message board...I read past posts on here every day...I'm learning...& listening...THANK YOU for your ES&H... :idea:

Ann Marie

garden variety wrote:What I do today is call at least 4 members from my home group with more years of sobriety than me on a daily basis just to be accountable which includes my sponsor. And I leave messages on their machines if they are not there. I made a habit out of this. Then if my mind gets goofy, these guys can pick up any kind of change in me long before I know it. They can hear it in my voice.
.....

There is another thing. There is this passage on page 164 of the book and I suggest that you meditate and pray on it to keep yourself humble especially since you been around for a spell and admit you might think you "know it all". "We realize we know only a little" is the passage - Every day I ask God to keep me mindful of that fact because I don't know hardly anything, and if I think I do, then my big fat self-centered ego needs to go on a diet.
littlemiss
 
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