- From the edge

From the edge




Original poems that are specifically recovery related

From the edge

Postby tim-one » Thu May 28, 2009 10:41 am

From the edge

I stand at the edge with my back to the fall.
Behind me, far down, is death and despair.
Between me and there is naught but foul air,
If I turn or step back,
My life will end black.
To find myself here, I am grievous appalled.

I drop to my knees and consider my plight.
Before me, a desert, a mountain beyond.
The desert is dry with nary a pond.
I fear if I walk,
I’ll dry into chalk.
Maybe I’ll wait till the dark of the night.

My hands on the ground I struggle to crawl.
The desert is gnarled with thistle and thorn.
Creeping in pain, in the dark I am torn.
My tongue has gone dry.
No tears can I cry.
With gut-wrenching pleas, my soul to God calls.

"Oh, GOD, I’m afraid! I’m dying too soon!
I’m numb like a zombie, I’m walking, but dead.
I’ve no will within me to bear what’s ahead.
Not far have I gone
And I cannot go on.
Please give me the strength to move on lest I swoon."

I crawl through the night and the heat of the day.
I crawl on for days all the way to the foot
Of the mountain in which all my hope I must put.
Amazing, I think,
That I’ve crawled from the brink.
I look back and I’m shocked it’s no farther away.

In panic I scream, “Oh, MY GOD, what’s the point!?â€
tim-one
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:54 am
Location: Houston, TX

Postby Dallas » Fri May 29, 2009 4:23 pm

Thanks, Tim-One! Another great one!

Thank you for sharing it with us.

You remind me of a time in my life when I used to write a lot of poems and songs. I had a daily "to-do list" that included "write at least three poems today, and read one book."

I guess you can imagine -- I was in a place where I had lots and lots and lots of time to do it! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thank God, and thank AA... that I'm somewhere different today.

However... because of you posting your poems... and reminding me of some times in my past... I went out and bought a new used guitar the other day... and I've put it on my list to write and play something everyday. And, I'm in a nicer place to do it.

When I first got sober and was trying to figure out what it would be okay with God for me to do -- I bought a few new guitars, keyboards, and enough equipment to fill a recording studio and play a large concert hall.

That had been one of my little-boy dreams... and it was also one of the painful heart break that led to more drinking and drinking and drinking. :lol:

For several years sober -- my fear kept me from moving ahead with my return to music. (My first love). My fears kept me from doing a lot of things that might have led to high flying success... because I was afraid it would lead me to drinking again. Yet, I was surrounded by others that were able to achieve great success in many of the fields that I was afraid to re-enter.... and, they were staying sober. (At least... many of them were). But, I had that feeling -- that I would be the exception -- and wouldn't be able to handle it.

Thanks for your sharing. It's doing a lot for me -- and I hope you keep on posting!!! I appreciate you and all that you are doing that ends up making my life better.


Dallas
Dallas
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby tim-one » Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:36 am

Hey, Dallas,

I'd like to see some of your sober songs, if you're so inclined.

Got some?

Tim1
tim-one
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:54 am
Location: Houston, TX


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