by JR » Sat Sep 03, 2005 1:04 am
Finally a good connection and a decent computer!!!!
I don't have time to do much reading tonight as I am at work and on a break while I write this. So, I thought I would just let you know how things have been going.
My last drink was August 19. If I make it for another 5 hours I'll have 2 weeks.
I forced myself to go to work August 20th, it was hideous (bad hangover). I had a pretty busy schedule from the 20th to the 23rd and then caught a flight at 8:30 am after getting off work at 6:00 am. I went to my first AA meeting on August 24th at 7:00 am Hawaii time. It was on the grounds of the Stone Church on Alii drive in Kona right next to the ocean.
I got there early and was asked to read How It Works. I only agreed to read it because I was told many years ago that you never say no to AA. I've been pretty emotional lately, so I had doubts in my mind whether I could get through it without crying. As I started to read I had a sense of peace and comfort and joy come over me and I couldn't finish the reading.
How It Works is such a perfect message it could only come from The Higher Power.
I'm still on step one. I'm also on the "pink cloud" phase. The pink cloud is pretty cool. I didn't experience it the first time or second time I got sober. I always heard people speaking about it and wished I could have it.
Going to my first AA meeting in Hawaii was very symbolic for me since I got sober there in 1983. It is very spiritual AA.
I just had a very peaceful and healing vacation. I wrote a lot in my journal, read the Big Book, went to meetings and prayed.
I met a woman at one of the meetings that had gone out after 13 years of sobriety. Our stories were similar in some ways. She has had a difficult time sticking around and even had to put herself through treatment. I hope, one day at a time, that I have learned the lesson that we are supposed to learn by trying controlled drinking.
I tried controlled drinking and once I took the first drink I could not guarantee my behavior or the amount I would drink. I know that I have a fatal and progressive illness. It has progressed even while I was sober.
I know in the 12X12 it talks about raising the bottom. I hope that peering into the abyss is enough for me and that there will be no need to jump into it. I am very grateful that alcohol is already kicking my okole.
I have to go out of town again on Sunday afternoon on a family campout. They are all normal drinkers in my husbands family. There will be drinking there so I will be praying a lot this weekend. Luckily, I have never drank around anyone but my husband. As far as the family knows I don't drink at all. So at least nobody will be trying to hand me a drink.
Gotta go back to work.
JR
You obviously made the extra 5 hours and I forgot to tell you congratulations on your two weeks!!! Congratulations!!! I would tell you to "Keep coming back"... but, since we have so many things in common, I better tell you what they told me "Just Don't Leave!"