I love meetings, and that was instilled in me from my first one.
I was in the parking lot of the meeting place, still blitzed from the night before, & I saw a man go in, dressed in a powder blue suit jacket. I wondered - you gotta dress up for this thing? (here I am in my fishing clothes)
I stumble down the stairs, plop in a chair & look around to see all men. I ask the man in front of me, "Are there any ladies?" He said, "Well, there's a lot of women, but very few ladies"
I had to laugh! And, I relaxed.
The first thing I heard when the meeting began was, "I don't take myself very seriously, but I take the disease of alcoholism VERY seriously." Say what? I knew nothing of AA or alcoholism.
Those men 12th stepped me to the wall, explaining that I had a fatal, progressive disease & there was no cure, but there was a spiritual solution. I asked what it was & they just said, "Keep coming back & see." No quick fix, no instant answer, just, "Come see."
My 2nd meeting was all bikers. They were laughing & goofing around & I wondered if this was AA. It was! Just with a biker flavor.
At about 30 days, a biker woman told me, "I love you" , and something inside me opened up that had been closed for a long time.
I've never been afraid to bring what's going on with me to a meeting, no matter how embarassing. I was dying, & these people knew & understood & helped me find the lifeboat to living sober. But, it was made clear, that I was expected to grow up & be responsible for my sobriety & my life. But, I didn't have to do it alone.
I've always wanted to be a among people who are real & share from the heart & who don't put on a polite pretence & say, "Have a nice day" through gritted teeth. I've found them at meetings.
We learn together, grow together, cry, encourage, challenge & help those who are struggling. We can laugh at ourselves & be content with another day sober in the service of God & others.
Plus, where else can you find such entertainment? I hear things at meetings that are funnier than any comedy show! Two nights ago this guy passed me a note that said, "I can time travel." OK! This is special! Just when you think you've seen & heard it all, there's something new at a meeting!
Then, at the end, when we all join hands & pray, it's like this circle of love, given & received. And it seems, on some level, we know that God is here, His power & love connecting us to Him & each other. Takes my breath away.
I still go to a lot of meetings, & dress nice, & am still a lady, & offer a smile & words of love, & carry the message of recovery & I'm still sober! What a gift!