Opinions used to mean a lot to me, especially my own!
I would tie myself in knots trying to live up to peoples' good opinions of me & put up a lot of walls to keep out their bad opinions of me. It wore me out, & I got to where I didn't know who I was & didn't care either. Just leave me alone & let me drink!
When I got my 24 hour chip, I saw that it said on it, "to thine own self be true". Huh? How am I supposed to be true to myself if I don't even KNOW myself?
As I began taking the steps, I got to see more of who I really was, most of which I didn't like very much!
But some very tough women assured me it would change & they did not baby anyone
, so I was inclined to believe them, sort of.
Then, at a women's meeting, someone said, "Seek God's
compliments", and that turned my head around to a new way of thinking & being. It's God's opinion of me that matters, and with His grace, it will be a favorable one! It's what motivates me today.
When I was taking the 11th step with my sponsor, she told me to bring all the daily meditation books I read. When she saw them, she said, "That's excessive. Why so many?" I said it works for me, & even if I don't retain it consciously, it's in the back of my brain & things seem to pop out when I need them. I said, "Listen to this..." & read her a quote. She said, "That's awesome! Let me write that down! I know just the woman who needs to hear that!" And she changed her opinion & now wants me to look in thrift stores for meditation books for her!
The storyteller who comes to our group always prefaces his sharing with, "My name is --- & I'm an alcoholic, & what I say is my own experience & opinion." And I respect his opinion, because I know the things that he DOES. It's not just hot air.
But it's not the same as truth. If his opinion was that I was not an alcoholic, I would have to dismiss it because that's not true. I know myself well enough today to know that!
I think I'm rambling, so time for a meeting!