sounds like you should stay away from the zoo!!!!
How true that was at one time!!!
Last night, at the meeting after the meeting, a newcomer sitting next to me said he could make good animal sounds, and went on to demonstrate. (We are diversely talented!) Everyone joined in & the place sounded like a barnyard. He turned to me & asked if I could do any, & I said, "Well, I think I can do an ostrich." And I proceeded to tell this story:
When I was drinking, I went to the zoo with my teenage daughter & her friend. I was pickled, & thinking I was funny, was making noises at the animals - roaring at the lions, barking at the seals etc...
When we came to the ostrich, I made this "oodle oodle" sound. The ostrich craned his neck & looked directly at me, flapping his wings, fluffing his feathers & doing a little dance. Then...it had an orgasm!!!!
My daughter was mortified, as were the people around us.
I was two years sober before she would go to the zoo with me again.
I never knew what was going to happen when I drank!
An orgasmic ostrich! I'll never live it down!
There's one for the gratitude journal - today I behave like a human!