IN THE "LAST" ANALYSIS...........

[ROBERT]

I have been experiencing some interesting life stuff,and these awakenings that are possible to us/me can be suttle,therefore overlooked (more will be revealed) but as more recovery comes on board these some times suttle experiences seem more like i'm watching a big movie screen,very aware of the experience and, what it is about this situation, or the message or lesson in it....very interesting going through it,actually it is a awesome experience. I am able, thru a power not of my own to see similarities in these experiences w/ my past,the choices that I did make based on self,and the choices available today, but with others best interests involved in the decison making process. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows- feels wonderful. I have fearlessly searched for many years for happiness,the bottle,the dope,things, jobs,relationships, etc etc, recently the experiences in my life interacting w/others who are struggling w/these issues allows me the opportunity to apply hindsight to see my self in the former state of living,struggling,and seeing myself today w/ different struggles yet moving past alot of calamity & pomp which limited my choices, reduced my life to the self-centerd,selfish state of living,always looking outside of me for "HAPPINESS", so for this alcoholic these few lines in we Agnostics have become a reality for me, thank God- We found the GREAT REALITY deep down within us. In the last analysis it is ONLY there that he may be found..the quality of my life is on the inside and I thank God and A.A. for allowing me to experience this wonderful way to live.

[tim-one]

Robert,

What a beautiful experience you're having. It works, don't it?

Thanks for your "big-screen" analogy. I had a couple of similar flashes.

"Don't take yourself so seriously" made me think, that one man's tragedy is another man's comedy. If I were to watch my life in a movie with ... say ... Billy Crystal, I'd be laffin over his foibles and calamities.

Then I rented a DVD and had the choice of wide-screen or TV version. I never considered that movies formatted for TV just lopped off the sides. I noticed that the actors sometimes reacted to little things happening off-screen.

It's a wonderful thing at my late age to suddenly have the oportunity to become the man I was intended to be. I've learned, not only to be grateful for my sobriety, bit to be grateful that I AM an alcoholic. Somehow beyond my little brain, all that was necessary for me to fully embrace my new freedom and to actually make use of my past crappy life.

Pg 83-84 - the promises:
"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." CHECK!
I wasn't guessing I'd actually come to appreciate the past as the lessons they were that HP is using to teach me goodness and benefit to others.

"Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change." CHECK!
I drank to stop time. I didn't have a future or didn't want to see it. Now I can't wait to see it with these wide new eyes.

Can't wait to hear more about your experiences, brother. Live it and share it. Huh?

Love,
Tim1

[Jools]

Great stuff Robert!

We found the GREAT REALITY deep down within us. In the last analysis it is ONLY there that he may be found..the quality of my life is on the inside and I thank God and A.A. for allowing me to experience this wonderful way to live.

Love that right there! Thanx for sharing with us.

Julie