Thanks Robert. As usual -- it's always refreshing to read your insightful and positive messages that get right to the point in your recovery experience! I appreciate you.
One of the things that I discovered about tapes... is that I can create new ones! And, if I create enough new and positive tapes -- the old negative tapes really have to struggle to get out front in the tape business!
Tapes. They are nothing more than the stories that we tell ourselves. And, we're always talking to ourselves and telling our self stories!
Many times, the stories are not true and/or are not based on fact. They are based on illusions and distortions. Based on fear? (Sometimes?). Personal inadequacy or insecurities? (Sometimes?). Guilt or remorse. (Sometimes?)
Either way... the Self talk is nothing more than a story or stories that we are telling ourselves. When I become aware of Self-talk I check to see if it's moving me forward towards my Highest Good... or moving me away from achieving my objectives.
If I'm doing negative Self-talk, or making up negative stories and telling those to myself... Why not make up some positive stories to tell myself?
I've done this and I do this.
Once upon a long-time...
I didn't like myself. So my Self-talk was negative, like I was talking to someone I didn't like!
And, that would manifest itself in damaging ways directed at me. I knew I needed to change -- but, I didn't know how to change. I knew "actions are the magic words"... so, I asked myself... "How can I take actions to change my Self-talk and the negative things that I say to myself?" (Not talking to myself is not an option. Ever tried "not talking to yourself?"
So, I started making up stories like... "I LIKE myself!!! and I like MYSELF, and I like myself." (Using different enthusiastic tones and emphasis on different words as I would repeat the sentence. Tones effect our emotions.... that's why we have things like "romantic music".... the beat and the tone alters our moods. )
Then, I started posting post-its all over my house and on my desk, etceteras... that said "I like myself!"
I also discovered the power of mirrors! I keep mirrors in front of me while I work and keep mirrors where I can catch a glimpse of myself. (How can I see what condition my condition is in if I can't see me?)
I would post my post-its on the mirror... and added another one that said "Smile!" so that I could "force" a smile at myself.
After a while -- I began to notice a change for the better. It was working! My little actions were producing positive results! So, I expanded upon it... with little things like: "I love myself!" (Used to really choke trying to say that one!
Now, it comes automatically!) And, "I feel happy, I feel healthy and I feel terrific!!!" Try saying that really loud when you don't feel happy healthy and terrific! And, do it many times in a row! Jump up and get enthusiastic and yell it out! "I feel happy, I feel healthy! And I feel terrific!" Begin to look at yourself in the mirror as you're doing it! I guarantee you... after a few doses of that... you'll start to feel better!
I also concluded, that if I was going to lie to myself... telling myself False Expectations that Appear Real... FEAR stories... why not lie to myself by making up positive stories to tell myself???? So, I tried that too... and got some good results!
The quality of my life and the goodness of my life -- is in direct proportion to the things and the ways that I communicate with myself and with others. I can improve the quality and goodness in my life... by learning to communicate more effectively with myself and with others!
Note: I've often heard others talk about "changing the tape that they are playing"... in regards to sobriety.
Beware of relying on tapes! The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the next first drink... So, if you're relying totally on tapes... beware of the "blank spots" in the tapes! The moral of the story? "Trust God, clean house, help others... AND change the things we say to ourselves!"