- "OLD TAPES"--OR WHAT?

"OLD TAPES"--OR WHAT?




Discussions related to 12 Step Recovery and Treatment

"OLD TAPES"--OR WHAT?

Postby ROBERT » Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:18 pm

Wow I was up @ 7 am this morning, had a cup of coffee, read my morning readings,a regular fri. morning-- I laid back down for what was a sorta of break or something and the phone woke me up --11 o'CLOCK!!! Instantly I heard all sorts of chatter, the committee in my brain was hard at work telling me something and I was feeling extremly guilty! I own my business so there is no time clock or any type of have to be there type stuff,but the feeling was real-- I had to have a conversation w/ myself and take charge of this meeting going on in my head :lol: Part of recovery for me is recognizing, being aware of--"OLD TAPES"-- that can sabotage my serenity,THEN taking the action to overcome my illness. Being clean and sober has given me the luxury to be in touch w/feelings, and most importantly being able to identify them,own them and discern them from reality--before being sober I was a reactor, a guided missile on auto pilot and my feelings were the pilots! Today, thanks to the program of recovery, and alot of hard work I feel current, or another way would be to say, I'm right where I'm supposed to be-- on a emotional level-- and this for me is one more of the freedoms we get by going through the steps, and applying them daily were applicable . I need to add this for me--Going to ANY lenght for me, has me seeking recovery at many levels--the A.A. program is by far my staple-- but it has opened the door(s) to a whole new world. I am humbly in debt to Alcoholics Anonymous-this wonderful program was/is the life preserver that saved me (and still does) from living that horrible life I once thought was the only normal one (Doctors Opinion)--there is so much more to this than just not drinking--Work...yea alot of it...difficult..yea at times very...Worth it....YOU BETCHA. Happy-Joyous-Free, has come w/ a price, one that HAD to be paid-- And in my opinion I get back way more than seems possible- but God is the BOSS and I'll take what ever HE/SHE sends me and I'll do my best to give it away, as I trudge this road to happy destiny. OH by the way, I don't feel guilty any more--heck I may take a nap :lol: :lol: GOD BLESS ALL.
ROBERT
 
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Postby Dallas » Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:05 pm

Thanks Robert. As usual -- it's always refreshing to read your insightful and positive messages that get right to the point in your recovery experience! I appreciate you. :wink:

--"OLD TAPES"--


One of the things that I discovered about tapes... is that I can create new ones! And, if I create enough new and positive tapes -- the old negative tapes really have to struggle to get out front in the tape business! :wink:

Tapes. They are nothing more than the stories that we tell ourselves. And, we're always talking to ourselves and telling our self stories!

Many times, the stories are not true and/or are not based on fact. They are based on illusions and distortions. Based on fear? (Sometimes?). Personal inadequacy or insecurities? (Sometimes?). Guilt or remorse. (Sometimes?)

Either way... the Self talk is nothing more than a story or stories that we are telling ourselves. When I become aware of Self-talk I check to see if it's moving me forward towards my Highest Good... or moving me away from achieving my objectives.

If I'm doing negative Self-talk, or making up negative stories and telling those to myself... Why not make up some positive stories to tell myself?

I've done this and I do this.

Once upon a long-time... :lol: I didn't like myself. So my Self-talk was negative, like I was talking to someone I didn't like! :twisted: And, that would manifest itself in damaging ways directed at me. I knew I needed to change -- but, I didn't know how to change. I knew "actions are the magic words"... so, I asked myself... "How can I take actions to change my Self-talk and the negative things that I say to myself?" (Not talking to myself is not an option. Ever tried "not talking to yourself?" :lol:

So, I started making up stories like... "I LIKE myself!!! and I like MYSELF, and I like myself." (Using different enthusiastic tones and emphasis on different words as I would repeat the sentence. Tones effect our emotions.... that's why we have things like "romantic music".... the beat and the tone alters our moods. ) :wink:

Then, I started posting post-its all over my house and on my desk, etceteras... that said "I like myself!"

I also discovered the power of mirrors! I keep mirrors in front of me while I work and keep mirrors where I can catch a glimpse of myself. (How can I see what condition my condition is in if I can't see me?) :wink:

I would post my post-its on the mirror... and added another one that said "Smile!" so that I could "force" a smile at myself.

After a while -- I began to notice a change for the better. It was working! My little actions were producing positive results! So, I expanded upon it... with little things like: "I love myself!" (Used to really choke trying to say that one! :lol: Now, it comes automatically!) And, "I feel happy, I feel healthy and I feel terrific!!!" Try saying that really loud when you don't feel happy healthy and terrific! And, do it many times in a row! Jump up and get enthusiastic and yell it out! "I feel happy, I feel healthy! And I feel terrific!" Begin to look at yourself in the mirror as you're doing it! I guarantee you... after a few doses of that... you'll start to feel better!

I also concluded, that if I was going to lie to myself... telling myself False Expectations that Appear Real... FEAR stories... why not lie to myself by making up positive stories to tell myself???? So, I tried that too... and got some good results!

The quality of my life and the goodness of my life -- is in direct proportion to the things and the ways that I communicate with myself and with others. I can improve the quality and goodness in my life... by learning to communicate more effectively with myself and with others!

Dallas


Note: I've often heard others talk about "changing the tape that they are playing"... in regards to sobriety.

Beware of relying on tapes! The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the next first drink... So, if you're relying totally on tapes... beware of the "blank spots" in the tapes! The moral of the story? "Trust God, clean house, help others... AND change the things we say to ourselves!"
Dallas
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Postby ROBERT » Fri Jul 17, 2009 10:41 pm

Well put and well said Dallas--This level of recovery was at one time incomprehensible to me as well and I can remember being at A.C.O.A. meetings, alanon, etc, and this level of recovery would be the topic of discussion, I look back and see me, sitting there full of fear (I didn't know this at that time),no clue about recovery let alone this stuff,-- HOWEVER!!!--I did my best to fit in and tried to dazzle them with what I thought was my brilliance :lol: :lol: :lol: man I was a mess-- but thru the years recovery did happen, is happening, and will continue to happen as long as I am willing, and do the work. Feeling whole and healthy has taken a long time for me..I was 30 at first introduction to the recovery community-I'm 54-and somewhere in between the worm turned and I am aware! As Bill put it- the spiritual realm is Broad, Roomy, all inclusive--It is to me a different dimension, different than the one I percieved 24 years ago, and was out of my grasp had it not been for this program...so I am VERY grateful, and in comparing the level of sickness I was at, 24 yrs. ago to today says it works, if you/we, work at it!--I have been one of the sometime slowly ones, but never the less this program has yielded amazing results for this Alcoholic, and to see others as I was at one time is at times painfull, due to Empathy, and hindsight, and my power to fix them is not there--but to share my EXPERIENCE, WITH STRENGHT & HOPE is what I choose to believe God wants of me, and I do my best, and at times my best is lacking, but Gods help is ALWAYS there so I don't get into much beating up on my self-- very little actually. I just keep moving forward with the experince behind me that says IT'S ALL GONNA BE JUST FINE. I have just one life-time,and have been allowed to live 2 lives!!--What a deal huh..LIFE IS GOOD-I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK ANY FARTHER FOR UTOPIA, IT IS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW-- THANKS TO GOD- THE A.A PROGRAM- AND AS ALWAYS "GRACE" & "SERENDIPITY.
ROBERT
 
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