Acceptance? What does it mean in sobriety and recovery?

Discussions related to 12 Step Recovery and Treatment
Then, and only then
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:33 pm
Location: Angels Fall

Is it for me?

Postby Then, and only then » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:17 pm

I was reading previous posts, and one fought my eyes. It was about which one one should emphasize, acceptance or courage. My dilemma comes from the fact that I don't have the wisdom to distinguish between two Even when I do, I don't have the power to carry it out, for either one. To accept the situation, He must give me that warm feeling everything would be ok.

I am in my mid 40s. I just changed my career to completely different field. I am that middle aged man do not know what he is doing on the job. My ego is under heavy fire. It has been exactly a month tonight. I have been praying for the perseverance hourly. My career hit the wall I could not climb. I had to choose this path. I think.

My keen alcoholic mind and over sensitive emotion have been telling me, 'this is it. If I fail this one, I will never be 'happily and usefully whole'. I know He is in charge. I am right where I am supposed to be. Let go, and walk through my fear. It would be ok, either way.

It is one thing to talk about acceptance theoretically, but completely another when I must live it to survive. The program changed completely for me the last 3 month or so. It is no longer the talk. The design for living at rough going, it truly is. I have snow chance in Hell without my sponsor. I used to laugh and put down the ones who said that. Pain is that ray comes before the sunlight of the spirit. I clearly see the reality when I am in pain. I blow it up, but without pain, I would not know what is eating me. Pain cuts through the fog my ego created.

Maybe I am beginning to accept the condition I was left in after all that drinking and drying. I can only do this because of the program. For that, I am grateful. A drunk like me, His full time project. Thank you all.




Then, and only then
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:33 pm
Location: Angels Fall

Postby Then, and only then » Thu Aug 16, 2012 7:54 am

Thank you Dallas. I am grateful.

Human being with human desires, needs and wants. Trudge...powerlessness, unmanageability. I am never alone, different degrees of life problems and joys, different tides, yet we all bleed the same blood. Somehow, I am gona be and I am ok. I just don't know it the most of times. I wanna be happy and I know it. I wanna clap my hands everyday!

Only when I share my hurts with another Alk honestly, I clap my hands. Thank you.

Toast
Posts: 471
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:50 pm

Re: Acceptance? What does it mean in sobriety and recovery?

Postby Toast » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:05 pm

Hi,

For me acceptance is the realisation that there was a good plan for my life all along. Being selfish and self centred I was like the Prodigal Son who demanded his inheritance right away so I could blow it all on riotous living. But when I woke up with the pigs (my rock bottom) and made a decision to return to my fathers’ house (my first AA meeting) I realised that even the servants in my fathers’ house (the people doing service) had a much better life than a genius like me.

And my father rejoiced (I was warmly welcomed me into AA) and laid on a banquet (gave me back my sanity) and I’ve been dining on that banquet (enjoying the fruits of a full AA life) ever since.

God Bless

Toast
Posts: 471
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:50 pm

Re: Acceptance? What does it mean in sobriety and recovery?

Postby Toast » Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:39 am

Thanks for the great post Keith.

Sometimes it feels as though i can accept anything except normality?

Shows i will always be a work in progress.

Be well





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