5 New Things in the Old Year

[Tim]

A popular recovery definition of insanity is 'Doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results.' From the 2005 FWIW file, here are five things I did a little differently this year:

(1) I practiced acceptance a little better this year. Acceptance does not mean approval, but it has been like a breath of freedom to accept life the way it is, not as I would have it. Humility is when I begin to accept reality. Actively practicing acceptance has had positive benefits in my attitude (duh!), reduced anxiety and better relationships with those around me.

(2) I did a better job not biting off more--or less--than I could chew, swallow and digest. At work, I more often got reasonable tasks done in a reasonable way in a reasonable amount of time. This is an improvement over the past, when I went to extremes and would attempt the impossible or, alternatively, do significantly less than what I could be reasonably expected to accomplish. I play better than I used to and have real fun. I am better at resting than I used to be.

(3) I got back on track with my recovery, after brief periods of complaisance and neglect of the basics of recovery. I did not drink, but I had times when I was drunk on discontentment and irritability.

(4) I looked a little more often at my issues in my marriage, not trying to change my wife, but focussing instead on my own defects of character. This made for a happier relationship.

(5) Sometimes I admitted when I was wrong more promptly and occasionally forgave myself more readily over my failings. I still had plenty of resentments (probably my Achilles heel in recovery), but I didn't stew in their juices as much as I had before.

2005 was a pretty good year in terms of recovery. If I make it one more day without a drink, I will have made it through the year sober, thank God, which makes it a great year. Happy New Year to each of you!

Make of this what you will.

[Rusty Zipper]

good go'n Tim... Bravo!... looks like Step12, from the 12 & 12... good wishes, xo Z

[ATL-Male]

I like the concept of this thread. Thanks, Tim.

I think I demonstrated patience a little more. Displayed in my commute in Atlanta traffic.

I also displayed a little more faith in God. Letting go and Letting God. I had a little wreckage from my past come up and bite me on the ass and I prayed about it prior to but didn't worry about it and that allowed me to enjoy every day leading up to the event [which didn't turn out so bad after all even though it wasn't what I had hoped for]

In the past I would have been depressed every single day leading up to the event.

at least this way I continued to enjoy life.

[crickit]

Hi everyone. Insomnia is back so I thought I would make time to check out some posts. I know I've been really bad but I've had my world turned upside down this last couple of months but I'll go into that in a different thread.

As soon as I read this thread I knew I just had to respond. The #1 thing I did differently in 2005 was to stay sober. When I read this thread it made me stop and think and low and behold I really didn't do anything else differently. I've been going to meetings, have had 2 sponsors and now on my 3rd, got a home group which I had to change when I moved and I became active but had to stop because of mobility problems.

Just over the last couple of months I have learned that I only skimmed the surface in my 4th step and have joined a new step study with a group of women with similar backgrounds and facilitator with 18 years sobriety.

I realized that my sponsor had lied to me, manipulated me, broke my confidence many times and definately wasn't working the program outside the AA rooms. Over the holidays when I needed her the most she was very unavailable, taking 3-4 days to return phone calls (no it was'nt because of holiday committments, it was the new boyfreind which is the 3rd btw). So I got a new sponsor.

Since my last MS attack I have been unable to drive so I have had to depend on others for a ride and have been going to new meetings (which I probably should have done right after I moved). I've met a ton of new people with lots of years of sobriety. Now I see people actually living the program. What a difference.

I was so desperate when I came to AA on Feb 14, 2005 that I latched on to who ever would have me. Those same people that supporting me all through 2005 turned on me in the end. I felt so broken that I didn't see what was happening all along. I'm usually smarter than that and definately more careful about who I trust. I just felt so comfortable with that group and they accepted me for who I am so it made it easy to put my guard down.

Plus I was still recouperating from a 2 week stay in the hospital after a MS attack that left me totally disabled.

Needless to say I was on one major pity party over the holidays. Slowly but surely, with the help of my new sponsor I pulled my head out of my ass and started asking for help. The more I asked, the more I got and the less I needed. Funny how that works. So I can't tell you what I did differently in 2005 but I can tell you what I learned.

1. There is only one person you can trust 100% and that is your higher power, everyone else is human.

2. Don't rush into getting a sponsor. Pick someone with a good solid amount of sober time and is actually living the program. Get lots of number for support and talk to as many as you can like you are doing an interview. A sponsor can make or break you. Pick someone who has what you want.

3. First things first. I have to learn to look after me, body, mind and soul. I can be of no use to anyone until I get healthy myself. I've been told that learning to love myself causes a ripple effect and others will love me too. If I can't learn to love myself then how could I possibly know how to love someone else. (still working on this one)

4. My state of mind affects my state of health. I need to always be possitive no matter what happens with my health because when I get stressed, my symptoms get worse.

5. When I change my perspective of things, things change

6. God grant me wisdom to accept the people I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know when it's me.
I have no control over people, places and things. I need to learn how to set boundries to avoid becoming a victim again. No more 'what if' 'if only' or making excuses for someone else. I deserve to be treated with respect and I can earn it rather than demand it. It's all about setting boundries--what I'm willing to accept and not accept in my life and stop trying to change people to suit me.

There is so much more I have learned and so much more for me to learn. As soon as I think 'I got it' something happens and I find I don't. But I think I'm on the right track again and headed in the right direction.

I'm glad 2005 is over and looking forward to a much better year in 2006. This year I will listen more and question less. My mother use to say when you stop learning you stop living and boy do I have alot to learn. Someday someone will want what I have so I have to get it right.

Well I've babbled on enough. Good to be back

Crickit
xxoo

[musicmode]

Name's Anne--Alcoholic

How's it goin'? Hi Cricket...just checked out the sights myself...I's out here in Alberta, time's 5 minutes to 11(pm)..ya'll still insomni-atic? Had such an awesome live meetin' tonight...was on sponsorship.

What'd I learn the most 'bout myself in 2005...mostly...I AM an alcoholic, I AM an addict...character defects can be of all sorts, shapes n sizes, n' what I don't got as my own, I seem to catch from others...'bout the same as doin' someone else's inventory. Been caught up in insanity, n whether ya use/drink yourself or not, if it's in the house, you're still wrapped up in the disease. Read in As Bill Sees It about defective relationships. I don't blame no one else for my own addictions, to the point of being in bold plain denial...I still's in the disease. If nothin' changes, nothin' changes. When we pray that we're ready to have God as we understand Him remove all our defects of character, might just be He removes what we least expect, 'n I trust/believe that that removal is what's best for me n my sobriety & sanity. Acceptance--of change, that's the biggest thing for me in 2005.

Keep it cool,
Anne

[Rusty Zipper]

without some Serenity, there aint no way i gunna accept chitz i cannot change... freedom from fears helps give me a bits'o courage to change the thins i can... and being clean and sob'a gives me a tad of awareness to have a bits 'o wisdom to see the differance... this year of new...whew!!! what a ride... if i didn't have a paint pal'et of colors... to stop all the black and white, self-centered think'n... yep, grap da crack pipe, and la-la land time... good wishes, all my step12 buddies...xo, PC