Just for Today
Saturday, Dec. 1, 2012
"Pity me the heart that is slow to learn
What the quick mind sees at every turn." - Edna St. Vincent Millay
"For a while ...we can endure the intellect's being ahead of the emotions, which is the import of Millay's couplet. But as the years go by, the stretch becomes unbearable; and the man with the grown-up brain and the childish emotions - vanity, self-interest, false pride, jealousy, longing for social approval - becomes a prime candidate for alcohol. ...(T)hat is a definition of alcoholism: a state of being in which the emotions have failed to grow to the stature of the intellect." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 11 ("He Who Loses His Life"), pp 534-35.
Just for today, let me consider that my alcoholism should not and cannot be sent into remission by intellectual strategies and that I must measure - honestly measure - my emotional condition. Without a reservoir of healthy emotions, the quality of my sobriety will likely be little more than my being a dry drunk. Accepting that alcohol is "but a symptom" of our underlying condition, as founders of the Program write, we are compelled to seek sobriety by doing more than abstaining. If today the number of 24 Hours since my last drink totals months or even years, a measure of the quality of my sobriety may be in asking if I still harbor the emotions that I felt when I was drinking. If so, I probably need to review and refine my Program. Sobriety is more than not drinking. It promises physical, spiritual and emotional recovery, and the 12 Steps give us a road map to recovery. Today, I need to look honestly at my emotional affairs. I've already tried the intellectual route. It got me nowhere. And our common journey continues. Just for today. - Chris M., 2012