Thank you for sharing Scott!!!
I know that it ticks off newcomers... when I say "I'm a grateful alcoholic!" The reason I know it ticks them off... is because I was one!
It really drives them crazy when I say "I'm grateful to be an alcoholic." But, I need to be honest. And, I mean it with every cell in my body when I say it either way.
The reason that I'm grateful to be an alcoholic... is that I wouldn't be where I am today... if I didn't do everything just like I did it.
If I would have done something else... I would be somewhere else... and I've been somewhere else... and it wasn't as grand as where I am!
Alcohol was my best friend. I honestly grieved when I had to part with it. It was the best relationship that I ever had, up until my relationship with A.A. and a God of my own understanding. Had I not became alcoholic I wouldn't have needed AA, the 12 Steps, or a God of my own understanding. I would have missed all of it! I would have missed the peace of mind, the serenity, and the connection that I feel to myself, to other people, to God, to Life, to all the things that inhabit this planet, and to other things in the Universe that I'm sure will be future discoveries for me.
For a long time, I had a really good life when I was drinking... even during the bad times. But, nothing ever came close to the good that I experience now... as a result of "having to take certain actions that I didn't believe in... and actions that I did not want to take"... just to be able to stay alive! What a bonus this deal is!!!
When I first landed in AA, shaking, hurting, stinking, confused, bewildered, desparate, depressed, angry, lonely, sad, feeling like I was different, like I was damaged goods, full of guilt, remorse, shame and fear... I was surely convinced that my life was over, and the good in life was forever gone!!!
Little did I know that it was actually the beginning of a life that was much better than anything that I could ever imagine!!!
And, a little something more... if I wasn't alcoholic... then, what the heck could have been wrong with me?
Something was wrong with me deep in my soul. Everyday I could feel the something that was wrong with me. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what the solution was. That's why I continued drinking... I was trying to fix me. And, I became alcoholic trying to fix myself. By becoming alcoholic... it put me into direct contact with the Solution that would and could fix what was wrong with me. And, for that, I will be eternally grateful!