"Don't drink" vs "Stay sober"

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garden variety
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"Don't drink" vs "Stay sober"

Postby garden variety » Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:56 pm

I really got to thinking (I know...there I go up in my head again, in the bad neighborhood!) about that cutesy-wootsy backwards stuff that cool man Dallas 8) was talking about. I got a fella here who asked me to sponsor him. He's a handful I tell you what. He's one of those sharp intellegent types :idea: - he's sharp as a pin when he aint a pinhead. Hes got that chronic relapse business that aint killed him yet, in and out for 25 years, with the most sober 6 months worth of 24 hours.

He asked me to sponsor him Saturday, and I said, Im not telling you "Dont drink, go to meetings, and pray". I never liked that abbrieviated AA anyhow. So I said lets do something different. I want you to think this way "Stay sober, go to meetings, and pray" and when them words left my mouth I couldn't believe it. I mean me and Dallas was talking about that positive vs negative stuff, and his way is a new twist. Then some kind of guru thing comes over me and I'm saying them. :?

But when those words come out my trap, I smiled and got a real light and fluffy feeling! For real its like I could see them words spiraling to the sky like smoke. This new guy says, Hey I like that. Stay sober instead of don't drink. Then he goes off into his head and thinks, and he's looking up at the light fixture for a good minute. I never heard it put that way. I like that.

With 25 years in and out and hes never heard it put that way, I think its time for me to eat my hat on this one. So I'm going to start taking out that "don't drink" thing and put "stay sober" in its place.

I don't know much, but I suspect somebody somewhere done a study with some bunch of guinee pigs that used something like that. And I bet you people that hear "don't" do something is twice as likely to do it, then people who hear the opposite thing worded in a positive way. I just bet you! If anyone knows about such a study please tell me!

And "Stay sober, go to meetings, pray, and help another alcoholic." :wink:

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Postby Dallas » Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:14 pm

It’s been a 19 year study with pigeons.... I haven’t tried it on guinea pigs...... yet. :lol:

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Postby anniemac » Thu Aug 24, 2006 8:26 pm

The point in my recovery when my reason for continuing on with AA was no longer to avoid getting drunk, but was instead to pursue the beauty of sobriety, was a major turning point for me. Avoiding a negative is fear-based; pursuing a postive is -love-based. I am a believer that those are the two core emotions under all others - fear and love. I spent many years living in fear; now I aim to live as much from love as possible.

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Postby MarkW » Fri Aug 25, 2006 4:16 pm

anniemac wrote:Avoiding a negative is fear-based; pursuing a postive is -love-based.

Wow anniemac! That is sooooo cool! I'm gonna use that! Thanks!

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Postby campsurf » Fri Sep 22, 2006 4:49 pm

I have gotten to the point that when I get my inventory taken by another member of program... I say thank you instead of running away.

I know it is because they care and love me.

Thanks for this post Garden Variety.


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Postby Dallas » Fri Sep 22, 2006 8:20 pm


Thanks for your message. It reminds me that it really can be done, if I continue to work on it!

I still have those tendencies to run or clobber! However, incrementally, I do find that I'm getting a little tiny bit better with it. I have to constantly work on that one. :wink:

Funny how it goes with me, though. There are some rare days when I can laugh and just leave it alone. And, actually even forget about it!


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