If you're sober and you know it...

[Dallas]

Thanks for sharing Ruthie!!!

One day, when I was pretty new, I discovered that the alcoholics that were staying sober and getting better were the alcoholics that were going out of their way to help other alcoholics. That caused me to want to do what they were doing... (helping others)... so that I could have what they had (staying sober and getting better).

For me, that has become the foundation of my recovery. Helping others. And, so far... it's worked pretty well. It kind of goes along with the saying that "to keep it (sobriety)... you've got to give it away (helping others)."

I was very lucky when I was a newcomer because old-timers would take me on 12 Step calls with them. They encouraged me to get involved in going on Hospitals & Institutions Panels and other work so that I could be of service to someone other than myself.

I thought that I didn't have anything to share with another alcoholic, and that I had nothing to offer, because I was just a newcomer.

The old-timers told me that "If you have 24 hours sober you have 24 hours of experience, strength and hope, that you can offer to the alcoholic who is still drinking. Share with them how you stayed sober for 24 hours and encourage them that if you can do it, they can do it, too. And, let them know that you are willing to help."

They must have been right... because that's what I've been doing since November 14th, 1986.... and I'm still sober!!! (And, I was one who couldn't go for over two hours without a drink... unless I was passed out!)

It works. It really does!

Keep coming back!

Dallas

[musicmode]

My name is Anne, I'm an alcoholic,

What a bunch-a great shares. In a nutshell, what I thought I knew yesterday turns out to be malarky today...maybe it's the alkie-mind???(gee--ya think ).

Welcome Ruthie...ya'll's in the right place fo' sho'. Comin' up Dec. 20 (God willin' cuz I am), I'll have a year sober&clean. I been in AA since 2000...git goin' along & lose it in the turn...git back on track, git goin' again...& again, lose it in the turn. I keep comin' back. No excuses...no stories...just so emotionally detached. Anniemac, ya'll brought to the surface somethin' I allow to defeat me, & that's co-dependence...'nuff new that I don't much understand it, but my entire history has been wrapped snug with alcohol, me&people around me. True, I'm powerless over alcohol, true, I'm powerless over others&situations, but others&situations must not determine whether or not I drink...I gotta gain strength & stay close to this program&HP (God as I understand Him) so that no other power can reduce me to the weakness to drink. There is One who has All power, that One is God...Ruthie, may you find Him now--this I pray for you. Tim--touched on another truth about me--that I not use busyness as an escape...I have a life now, of which I'm grateful ### ya believe it me & keys to a school bus? I'm trusted to haul kids..they handed me a stick-shift yesterday ...sure I can drive a standard, I say--never driven a diesel standard B4 ...just like my history in the program...git goin', stall...git goin'...stall...by the end of the trip, I's fin'lly shiftin' clean ...oldtimers said to me last night, you're not an alcoholic a'tall are ya...think ya can do it all #### think though, I'd have this privilege were I still out there? I would not have were I still drinking/using...I gotta remain mindful-a why I got all this ###' bus, +security at a school, + teacher's assistant--all part-time ####...all this stuff I got goin' on is as a result-a sobriety, so I gotta, & wanna have time in my day to do what I need to do so that I can keep what I have--find time to give it away...sharin' at meetin's. I'm shy, I wonder if I'll make sense or if I'm boring the leaves right off the trees? An oldtimer (Terry) said to me that I gotta share somethin' so that he can know how I did it today. Meetin's can be loaded with drunk-a-logs, those meetin's, ya end up feelin' no better than when ya walked in. Another oldtimer (Tom) put it this way..meetin's are like our fuellin' station...we pull up to the pump for fuel to keep us goin', therefore we should be leavin' those meetin's feelin' "pumped", he's been to those kinds of meetin's, & I have, too, ya walk out with a sort-a high that one can never get from booze, though that's the feelin' (I) drank for. Though it's important to remember our last drunk, to remember what got us here (our best thinkin'), I was taught that drunk-a-log meetin's are of those who're so busy that they don't got time to do their steps...ya start feelin' "drug-a-long" (like dragged...luggin'). Instead-a leavin' feelin' no better, another old-timer (Curt) said about these meetin's...what am I contributing?--What can I bring in to the table? He'd noticed that the hold-back factor is fear...fear of sharin', fear of doin' the steps cuz ya gotta dig deep..& at that alone...fear of talkin' deep-from the heart--cuz-a fear...'what will they think/say if I talk like that?' Thing of it is-he said, that ya'll'll reach someone...might only be 1...but that 1...in turn, might just want what 'cha got. How have our lives been recreated? How have we stayed sober...today? We don't care what 'cha did or who your connections were. What's your experience with concious contact--today? Did you take your will & your life back today? No shocker if ya did, cuz we all 'dunn-it'...but did ya have to drink? The answer is...NO. We don't gotta drink. Neither rat killin or bear wrestlin will lead us to drink, cuz today, we don't have to. I don't have all the answers...I do have a solution cuz one's been set out for us...

The attitude of gratitude,
Peace & Love all,
Anne M.
(musicmode-Alberta)

[anniemac]

Hey Ruthie,

Welcome to the site, good to have you here! Are you getting to meetings down there in TX?

Anne M. ~ I'm Anne M. too Seeing your posts throw me off, at a real quick glance I say, "did I respond to this post already?" then see it's you, not me!

As for drunk-a-logs, I don't go for the real long, drawn out ones detailing every past event, but I just love to hear the insanity of how we used to live, and to identify with it. I leave those meetings feeling fantastic, feeling connected, knowing the strength of our common bond. Not to mention so hillarious escapades!

[Dallas]

Thanks to all of you for those great messages!!!!

It sure makes me grateful that I can come to this site each day and read the great stuff that you are all sharing! It really pumps me up and makes me thankful for all of you!

Dallas

[dcyndee]

Hi all,

Just checking in. Wow, tomorrow will be 4 months. Been hectic, bought a new house, have had some major work schedule changes, basically its been pretty chaotic. With the chaos, has been so much peace and energy.

Right now life seems totally amazing..for the first time I can ever remember, wheather drinking or not, am living in my life rather than against it. Am truly the happiest I can ever remember being.

For me, the big book is like my road map, think was about a week sober, and remember thinking, wow If I go to meetings, read the big book and pray I can have this life I always dreamed of and drank to forget I didnt have. Since them, have become more accepting of letting my higher power take control of the controls, and trusting even though may not trust the course, it is the nest step of the journey.

I guess we wouldnt set out on a life long trip without packing the escentials first, I am packing what I will need to continue doing whatever it takes.

I still have some major conflics going on, being a mom of a 17 year old(who is still on the run) and a 18 year old. Fact is drinking or not those realities are going to exist, now at least I have mental clarity to be of use when I can.

Thank you all for my sobriety
Love and hugs
Cyndee

[Phoenix]

Recovery... I don't think I know what that means, or how to get there yet. This is my third try. I have been out now for 18 years and I'm tired of the living BS in my life. My doctor says if I don't quit I'll be in real health trouble. At 57 I have decided I really would like to live to see my grandchildren (they're not born yet but I have lots of sons out there.) This is only my second day and my head hurts and hands still shake. When I get through this I will try to be more upbeat. At least I still now where to find you guys. Thanks for being there. Any and all suggestions are welcome.

[ruthie]

Hey ya'll!!
Just got home from an overnight business trip with my husband, checked my mail and WOW!! I GOT MAIL from you guys!! Thanks a bunch!!
Yes, God is really working in my life these days. I am getting all kinds of lil messages from Him! Especially thru ya'll. Congrats Cyndee!!
Thanks!
Ruthie

[Dallas]

Hey!!! To all of you.... and welcome to the site Phoenix!!! Glad you dropped in. You're welcome to make yourself comfortable and hang out with us. Thanks for mustering up the courage to share!!! It's appreciated.

I hope ya'll keep coming back!!! (It's what keeps me coming back!)

Dallas

[Phoenix]

Hi everyone! Phoenix here. I'm now on my third day of my second week and have started to feel more healthy and much more upbeat. Not drinking at first was hard but now staying sober seems a lot easier. During the past week my wife, also an alcoholic, volunteered that she was ready to stop drinking now that she has seen how good it has been for me.

My problematic question is this: while my wife agrees to want to quit she says, "I just don't know about the HP stuff or the 12 steps. I think I just want to do it my way." Any others of you have this situation? Do I do nothing, push (if so how and how hard) or just continue my sobriety and hope for the best for her?

We are devoted to each other and that will never change but I fear that if she does not succeed in her personal approach to sobriety and starts to drink again I will be living in quicksand once again. I am an "opportunity drinker." I drink when I have the opportunity. So I know I cannot be near it without the constant temptation. I really do not want to go back there!

All advice is solicited. What is the best way to try to handle this situation?

LOL, Phoenix

[anniemac]

Hi Phoenix ~

Welcome, and congrats on the series of days you are putting together!

My personal ES&H is that my husband was drinking when I got sober. I know several other women who got sober with alcohol and an active alcoholic in their home. It can be done. The BB tells us that:

Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. (p 99-100)

It may not be easy, but I truly believe that one can get sober in the face of alcohol. I learned to keep the focus on myself and attended Al-Anon periodically to help me with that.

Best wishes to you,
Anne