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Discussions related to 12 Step Recovery and Treatment
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Postby Dallas » Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:07 am

Thanks for that great reply, Ann.
And, thank you Phoenix, for sharing again!

Phoenix, one of my best friends in A.A. (who has since passed on to the Bigger Meeting somewhere), and who was one of the greatest examples of A.A. that I have ever met, got sober and stayed sober with a still drunk alcoholic husband at home. She loved her husband probably as much as she loved her sobriety. She stayed sober through 18 years of his continued drinking... and then he finally got sober, stayed sober and lived two years sober before he died. And, she stayed sober for another 12 after his death, and eventually she lost her fight with cancer.... but, she didn't drink over it.

What Anne wrote is very true. With the A.A. Principles that you have available to you, I can guarantee you that you NEVER have to drink again, no matter what... if you apply the principles in your life.

Naturally, I can't forecast what's in store for you or your wife... (I don't even know what's in store for myself!) and I wouldn't even think of giving you any kinds of suggestions as to what to do in your situation... other than, don't drink... be sure to get a sponsor... go to meetings (the meetings won't keep you sober... but, it's very difficult to stay sober without them)... take the 12 Steps, and focus on your own sobriety and recovery.

I've seen it over and over again, in my own life... and in the lives of others, if you keep your sobriety and your recovery #1 in your life... everything else will be sure to pass.... and everything seems to end up working out just the way it's supposed to work out.

Best regards and best wishes to you on your journey. You'll never have to journey alone.


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Postby musicmode » Sun Nov 05, 2006 10:22 pm

My name is Anne 8) , I'm an alcoholic,

I am in that very same situation right now, have been for the past 6 years that I've been in the program. I've gotten tangled up, &--a long story short...in December, be it the will of God as I understand Him, I will have 1 year clean & sober. He has been the "excuse"...and the excuse only that I have had slips..each time, I've put a red flag there. It boils right down to what my choice is. It talks about--in BB--that there are those who are sick, & they will want us to drink..they, too...are sick. Keith R., said that when he was all wired up & drunk, everyone wanted him to stop, when he stopped, those very same people would seem to try anything to get him to slip up...just so that they could have that satisfaction of saying: there he goes again, I knew he couldn't do it--it seemed too, that those people would go to any length to get him to slip up. It's up to me whether I drink or anything else. I know for myself, as an alcoholic, nobody could tell me, push me, threaten me into NOT drinking, therefore doing likewise to another would only create waves of friction that could back-fire and have me pick up. I cannot make any one else get &/or stay sober...nor does anybody else have the power to cause me to not. Last winter, I did have enough of it and I left for 3 months. It was the will of God as I understand Him that I came back. Today, I know that no person has the right or the power to talk me into, to con me into, to manipulate me into drinking or using. When I hand that power over to another person, that person has become my higher power...and when no human power could have relieved me of my alcoholism, I'm essentially biting the hand that feeds me when I give in to that other person's will. Goes back to being a kid...if all your friends say it's a good idea and fun to jump off a bridge or over a cliff when you can see clearly that it don't look that way, are ya gonna jump anyway?

Certainly be supportive, I know of a few couples who came in, first one, then the other, & they have said that they have to stay mindful of who's program their nose is into. Let her program be hers, let yours be yours...accept & give suggestions (sharing experience, strength & hope) with each other of what seems to be working 'today', but the only program I can work is my own, nobody else's. There's nothing wrong with Al-Anon, either. I went to Al-Anon, mostly because the first alcoholic I had to learn how to live with was me. Al-Anon taught me how, even in sobriety, I can still play into the sickness and not even know it...which can still keep me sick, even though I may not be drinking. I know of some couples, too...who will go to seperate meetings if that's possible where you live. If he goes, she'll stay home & work her steps, or vice-versa, or in a place where there are more meetings than one per night...they will go to seperate meetings.

There's my 2 cents for what it's worth.

Keep it simple, kids...if ya don't over think--ya won't drink.
Anne 8)

Rusty Zipper
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Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 11:19 pm

Postby Rusty Zipper » Wed Nov 08, 2006 1:23 am

Mr Big Book... its me, rusty... memb'a me? ... woo-hoo... am i sober, well, i'm not useing.. and my life is way better... the thins that used ta baffle me... cripes!, geeze, there were a whole slew of um... and theres probably a few left for me to deal with... i guess i might call them the unknown baffle's ...! rotfl

hey, nice to see some old friends... ala le'musicmode, anne, tina, ect... and hope to meet some new ones... ohoh, dallas you too... :roll:

see-ya's soon...

great shares... :D

Posts: 178
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:11 am

hey 'all

Postby musicmode » Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:23 pm

My name is Anne 8) , I'm an alcoholic,

Together here, we all gots ourselves a great group,

Keep comin' back, 'all.

Anne M. 8)

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