Higher Power

[Toast]

Hi Keith, can go along with the fire and brimstone mother.

An excellent woman in every way except when it came to religion, its was her churches way or the highway!

Had a bad affect on me, i thought if i to died a saviour i'd go straight to heaven, never worked that way. All my rescuing just made me insane and drove me right to hell.

Glad i'm out of that now, no longer in competition with other martyrs, there is no prizes in life for hanging onto pain!

God Bless

[Then, and only then]

What I like the most about this site is I can see my thought changes over time. I can see my ego were sticking out from my old posts. I am sure I will feel the same way about this post as well in due time.

I wish I know more about God. It used to be only because I would learn his will, ask for the strength to carry it out, so I can have reasonably contended life free from alcohol and pain. I would like to think there are more to it than that. The belief that I am the part of His will comforts me. My faith is not strong enough to change my course of action yet, but worms my heart.

I believed God is a concept that man created out his immortality and powerlessness. Then I learned life is full of things that I can not understand and I do not have to understand. Belief is more than science, more than education. It is rather emotion, and also one of the strongest human attribute.

Do I believe or do I want to believe? I don't want to brand you with my belief because I know it does not work. I am just thankful and glad about what I have experienced.