Personal experiences with a Higher Power of your own understanding.
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Postby crazylion » Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:05 am

:? My name is Brian and I am an alcoholic,

I have been sober for a little over a year now but am still struggling with the "higher power" issue.

A little history on me first. I was raised in a cult from the age of 2 to 16. I have first hand knowledge and have seen what following a "faith" blindly can cause. I don't really trust any religious concepts. But I keep coming back to meetings because I really like the members and I see that it works.

My sponsor tells me that I only have to believe that there is " a power out in the universe that is greater than myself" to believe in a higher power.

I can hang with that because we see powerful things in nature all the time. Hurricanes, tornado's, typhoons, mudslides, etc have to be caused by an energy greater than us. But every time someone starts to bring up religion or they read the word god from the big book or the 12 and 12 I get sick to the stomach.

I realize that this program was founded in the 1930's and that religion was more common back then. But sometimes I feel like it is being shoved down my throat.

If it was really "how we understand him" then why is the word god in every page, and chapter of the book? It should be called "higher power".

Does anyone else have the same problem or am I just messed up with a twisted way of looking at things?

It is really driving me crazy and all the help is appreciated.

Thanks all!!!!!

One day at a time!!!

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Postby Dallas » Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:12 am

Thanks for sharing. I understand! :wink:

We had a few things in common... and still do. Sometimes, my stomach turns when I hear some things come out of the mouth of some people regarding God. :lol:

Here's what I did that helped me:

Towards the bottom of page 58, BB, I read of the importance of letting go of my old ideas absolutely.

I later on discovered that this was the perfect suggestion for me -- because nearly all the problems I'd ever had -- were centered in my old ideas.

I had to start with a fresh, clean, and blank slate. Taking effort to not rely on any of my old ideas and doing what I could to absolutely let them go.

That gave me a fresh starting point. In regards to the "God idea" or Higher Power... I let it all go. Once the old ideas were disposed of -- there was nothing left to fight or argue or debate. :lol:

I also learned that it was imperative for me to "have my own concept of God, or Higher Power" that I understood... that made sense to me. So, I had to keep it really simple.

MY sponsor suggested I take a yellow legal pad and start making a list of "what do I think God would be like if there was a God?" My starting points were: God is Life. God is Good. God is Light and in God there is no darkness. God is Love.

Light, Life, Good and Love... are all Powers greater than me.

Have you ever considered the Power of Good?

Then, I started to making a list of all the other Powers that I could think of.

Sound. Light. Electricity. Gravity. Chemistry. Microwave. Radiowave. TV. Life. DNA. A Power saw. An electric drill. and things like that. And, I began to look closely at those things.

I began to see patterns of Intelligence in everything except Love. :lol: And, I began to notice that many of the Powers -- I couldn't see with my natural eye. Some, like Microwave is invisible. But, if I doubt microwave because I can't see it -- all I have to do is put my hand in a microwave oven and turn it on -- and it will prove to me that there is a Power greater than me that I can't see!

Electricity was another one. I can't see valence shell electrons -- but I can sure feel and measure them!

That's where I started and then I began to build on that as I made other discoveries.

I struggled for years trying to understand God... and to "come up with an understanding of God". I still struggle with it -- IF -- I'm trying to figure it out.

One day, I gave up the struggle when I came to the realization that if there is a God... that's greater than me... how the heck would I ever be able to understand it or explain it?

Another thing that helped me was: when I discovered I was staying sober -- one day at a time. I knew that this had been impossible for me to do -- and suddenly, I was staying sober. That proved to me that something was at work in my life -- that was big enough to be doing something for me -- that I had been unable to do for me.

Something -- was caring for me. Even though I didn't deserve to be helped or cared for -- It was helping me. Well, for me... that kind of defined Love.... that passes all of my understanding and comprehension.

So, I eventually solved my problem. My problem was a thinking problem. My head was my greatest adversary. And,one day, I just felt like the best thing for me to do was to surrender. And, that's what I did. I put up the white flag.

I don't know if my discoveries and experiences will help you or not. I only know that they helped me and today I don't have the "God problem" and I believe and have faith in something that I discovered for myself -- not something that someone else taught me about or convinced me of.

Best regards,


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Old Ideas

Postby crazylion » Mon Jan 18, 2010 3:59 am

See the problem Dallas is this. Its not an old idea that is hindering me from excepting the Christian version of "God". It is an experience I grew up in that said "God" will do this and that for you if you do this or that etc. And nothing ever happened.

See I was told that if people did not believe like we did they were not going to "heaven". So if I believe in the "God" you all are talking about then I guess 99 percent of this world are just lost souls.

I have gotten rid of the old ideas and am trying to find something else to believe in. Its just hard to trust anyones religion at this point.

I truly believe that religion is the true root of evil in this country. It has everyone thinking that their religion is the right way and it divides everyone. But now im just on my soap box so I will calm down a

I wish it was as easy to accept Christianity in general. But for this alcoholic it is hard to do. I have seen it mess up peoples whole life, mine included. But I am still sober today so I guess I should be grateful.


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Postby Dallas » Tue Jan 19, 2010 1:04 am

If I correctly understood what you wrote -- to me, it doesn't sound like you have a Higher Power or a God problem... you have a problem with religion. I understand. Religion is ideas.

I've seen a commercial on TV a few times during the Christmas season. It makes sense to me. Most of the car commercials show a big bow on the car it's trying to sell. The commercial that got my attention was the BMW commercial that asks something like "Do you really want the big bow... or would you rather experience the excitement of driving a new BMW?" :wink:


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Postby Ranman99 » Tue Jan 19, 2010 3:30 am

Hey you Crazy Lion. All I can say is that there are many ways to understand HP and that you do not need to get bogged down in any of the dogma. One on one and following spiritual principals and right action and things should start to take effect. Meditation is key. I have studied them all and I know what bits I take and what bits I don't but I do know from my own personal experience that a person get in jiggy with HP solo as long as we try to follow the principles as fully as we can and think of others more than ourselves for a change.

When I head out in the morning I try to remember that the Universe is going to show me a few winks during the course of the day and then I try to keep a look out for them. Sometimes they are so sublte and sublime we do not recognize them until in hindsight we can see how it played out.

Hard to put into words actually :P

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Postby gunner48 » Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:12 am

Religion is the chain that binds me to the earth.
Spirtluality is the axe that sets me free.

Peace and Love Gunner

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Postby Ranman99 » Tue Jan 19, 2010 9:29 pm

I think one more point that was vital for me of course was that HP evolved from even what I thought I had to something different over the course of working the steps and then applying them in my life. I really have to say that we should not stumble on HP concepts too much until we come out the other side of working the steps to the best of our ability and coming out the other side. For me the steps are spiritual Kindergarten to Primary 12 and as I continue to apply the principles daily then I have a shot at a more evolved and evolving relationhip with my HP.

Something like that. 8)

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Postby sunlight » Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:59 pm

Today I am content to know that I don't need to understand my Higher Power. I only need to experience It and allow It to work in my life.

It's fun to do this! Like a treasure hunt. :wink:

It's enough for me to know that my Higher Power understands me and wants what's best for me.

Gotta keep it simple. 8)

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Postby Ranman99 » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:45 pm

That is it. I like the line like a treasure hunt. Most of the time it is just like that. The times I have to push myself is when I have a fear over something and know it is what I have to do. Then I have to kick up the faith in the power. Nothing is ever as it seemed in my mind prior to the push :)

and thanks.

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Postby itsUP2meKaty » Fri Apr 02, 2010 4:06 pm

thanks that wa the best 3rd step advice i've read :) [color=blue][/color][size=18][/size]

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