This is my first post here, and I would like to thank all of you for all of your posts! I have learned alot !!
I am going to try and keep this short and to the point........ but, I am an alcoholic !
I had six years of very good solid recovery, and then was informed that I was being "too harsh", needless to say, I changed the way I "shared" at meetings, and 4 years later ended up drunk! It took me 7 years of brutal research and terrifying new bottoms to get back into the program. There are several factors as to why I needed more research, and not doing what I was supposed to do, on a daily basis was the biggest reason. I have always been very much TOO THE POINT, keep it simple, and let it go, and want to live in the solution and not the problem.
I have concluded that by changing my way of expressing myself in meetings, and trying to be more "supportive" that I essentially handed myself a gun.
I am having difficulty knowing what is "too tough", I do feel that meeting in this area are so filled with fear of hurting someones feelings, that people tend to coddle one anothers "issures", either that or everyone talks about their own crap, and nothing relates to anything. I walk away from these meeting feeling like nothing was accomplished, and it was a total bitch session.
I am now 9 months sober, and have shared with others, to please not coddle me, don't worry about my feelings, as you might be saving my life. I have discussed this with my sponsor, and she tells me that I am doing just fine. Yet, when I speak at meetings, their are times when one individual will get up and leave, or make rolling eyes. I am not there to be a part of a popularity contest, I just feel like, I know what I am dealing with, and I have a disease that is trying to killing me. Cunning, baffling and powerful.
As an example: this one individual was talking all about the problems in his life, and how things are going well, etc... This fella is strong in the program and has help me tremendously in my past. I stated that I have been told, read the big book, talk to my sponsor and work with another alcoholic and that those "isms" will diminish. I admit I am not very tactful, and I told him, that he was so full of himself. Now this person knows me, and took what I said for what it was..... to help, to prevent this disease from killing him.
But their was another individual who stated to me, after the meeting, that I didn't need to be so brutal, and who was I to shoot someone down in a meeting like that??????? Yet, I had someone else ask me for my phone number?????
I don't know alot, but I do know that I am not willing to become "soft, full of daily encouragement to those who are swimming in the problem" I tried that once and it almost killed me.
Is there a line between being too harsh and being supportive.? I don't think so, but if I am not seeing something, please give me your 2 cents, and don't spare my feelings! PS.... what happened to the "cents" icon on the key board????