Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon and evening with my sister 'R'. She was very depressed. She knows if this last round of chemo doesn't work then that's it. Nothing more can be done. She started dreading the outcome in 6 weeks if she gets bad news. So I talked to her about living in today. Nothing she can do can change the outcome. She is very much a Christian and knows I have different beliefs but needed to know what I thought about death and what happens afterwards so I told her. By the time the conversation was over she was making plans again for all the sisters to get together and take a trip. Her idea of a trip is to book a hotel for the weekend at Niagra Falls and get room service LOL. She says she wants to be around until next summer so I told her to just believe that she will but don't put off anything she wants to get done. I told her that when my other sister 'V' was put in the hospice in November all she wanted was to live long enough to see her second grandchild be born and have a little bit of time to get to know her. When she went into the hospice she wasn't expected to live more that a couple of months. Her granddaughter was born in February and 'V' didn't die until June. The doctors were amazed but V was determined to stick it out.
Anyway, I was glad to be able to be there for R. She said she can't talk about death with anyone else because it upsets them. No one is willing to talk about the funeral arrangements with her because it makes them uncomfortable. Because of AA and the tools I've been given, I am able to be there for her in body mind and spirit. I am very sad that I am going to loose another sister but I will not let that interfere with the time we have left together.
Thanks for letting me share
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