Julie wrote:An online dictionary defines it as "A sense of ones own proper dignity or value; self respect" I beat myself into the ground day after day and night after night. I was afraid to stop drinking and afraid not to. One of the first things my sponsor told me was to put the stick down. I just broke down crying. The guilt and remorse were almost unbearable, I was a basket case.
Julie, that's the classical pathology of an alcoholic! I've never known an alcoholic... including myself... that didn't clobber the heck out of themselves... even when doing good things!
"A sense of ones own proper dignity or value; self respect" ... that's the same as a "feeling of self-worth"... (how we feel about ourselves)... and self-esteem (what we feel about ourselves).
I believe that it's vital to recovery and long-term sobriety that we get rid of the old worthless feelings and thoughts that we've had about ourselves. That's what I refer to as "toxic thoughts and toxic emotions."
In addition to our own sense and feeling of self-worth... it is vital for us (means we have a legitimate and important need)... that we have a sense and feeling that others view and feel that we are "worthy".
And, it's a reason that we all need each other -- we can't feel important and worthy to others -- without others!
And, how do we get all that stuff? This happens by us trying to be of service to each other and to all persons that we meet. Our service becomes an act of love.
Just like was mentioned above... doing highly esteemable things. Practicing total honesty. Developing and having faith. Doing those honorable things. "Taking the next right action because it's the right action to take."
What's amazing is... we don't have to work at improving our self-esteem, self-worth, or to sense and feel that we are worthy to others... all we have to do is to "take the right actions" and the changes and transformation takes place without us even thinking about it.
One day... we have one of those hot-flash spiritual experiences... where we look in the mirror... and it's almost like we're seeing a different person... doing different things... Esteemable things.. that they would have never done in the past... And, as we're contemplating these thoughts as we see the new image of ourselves... tiny hairs on the back of our neck and our arms stand straight up and we suddenly have a moment of clarity... an "Awakening"... that this beautiful person that we see in the mirror is the REAL US! This is the us... that all our lives we were pretending not to be... because some screwy thoughts in our heads told us that it was not right for us to feel good about ourselves!
Love, hugs and best wishes to all of you!!!
Thank you for the awesome life that you are sharing with me.