I think you have an excellent list.
My only comment would be #6. And, I get this goofed up from time to time, probably because I hear it so often...
page 58 BB wrote:
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to
be like, -- what happened, -- and what we are like now. (little dashy marks mine... for emphasis)
a. "what we
used to be like" (not what it
b. "what happened" (describes me taking the 12 Steps)
b. "what we
are like now"... (not what it
is like now).
When referring to what it
was like... instead of what we
were like: This is probably one of the big stumbling blocks for new people... they are listening to someone describe "it
goes off into drunk-a-logs, jails, divorces, fights, car wrecks, arrests... and whatever.... and a new person may say "well... that excludes me..." so we follow it up with a "yet" as it "hasn't happened yet"... and they don't think it will happen so they go on experimenting many years longer than is necessary.
is like now... they may not identify with it either... "Found God, got the kid back, wife back, job back, car back, out on bail, on parole, yada yada yada yada.... Again, harder to identify with.
When we talk about "what we
used to be like"... we're talking about "our self"... our thinking, our feelings... and nearly every alcoholic will identify with the thinking and feelings.
When we talk about "what we are like now"... those in recovery can identify... with our thinking and feelings... and the things that are about our self, that we can describe. More secure. Self-confident. Discipline. Structure. Happy, joyous and free. Serene. Etceteras.
That's my take on it. When I talk to a group of newcomers ... if I got into my drunk-a-log, many might say "well... I didn't drink like that!" so I don't need this... because I'm not as bad off as he was. We are not going to scare them into sobriety with "keep drinking and you'll end up like me!"
However, if I talk about how uncomfortable I felt, inadequate, something missing, different, unique, scared, fear, terror, guilt, remorse, less than, separate, angry, let down, pain, loneliness, trying so hard to do right but it ends up wrong ... alone even in a crowded room, etceteras, my experience has been that they will more than likely identify.... and won't get hung up on the "its".
When I talk about "what happened"... explaining "how I took the 12 Steps"... it focuses on our plan of recovery... the 12 Steps, help from someone or many in the Fellowship... and my experiences with them.
For me, this helps me to stick with sharing my self and my experience of my self.
What say you?