Tim wrote:I used to fear that God was against me...
Ditto. I used to have that same fear. Then, it turned into a strong belief that he really was out to get me.
Later on, I learned that I had that belief -- because I kept asking Him and expecting Him to do the things that I was supposed to be doing.... and, He wasn't doing it.
That was when I finally learned that my head was mixed up about what "God was supposed to do" and "supposed to be."
Once I learned that lesson -- I had to take responsibility for my results and become accountable for all my actions.
His job was giving me the life and the means to solve my problems -- not to solve them for me. And, my problems were of my own making -- which meant that the solutions must be all of my own doing. He provided the tools -- and it's up to me to use them.
Then, I discovered that instead of "asking Him" for the things that I desired -- I was supposed to be working to have the things that I prayed for.
That was when my prayer changed to "God, please help me be willing to work to have the things that I've been asking you to provide."
Now, when I don't have the results that I want in my life -- instead of thinking "God is out to get me" -- "I try" to remember that I'm responsible for what I've got and for what I'm getting. And, if I want something to be different -- I have to do something different.
"God, help me be aware that I am a co-creator. Creating the results in my life.... with the ability to create different results."