DISRUPTION DURING MEETINGS == CHILDISH BEHAHIOR

[sammie5643]

Need help in dealing with some men that have appeared to have taken rumshot over meetings.

One man sometimes smokes during meeting eventhough its city ord that he can't. Noone will confront him but some people will just leave. This group of about 4 individual men come and go as they choose and disrupt meetings. Totally disrepectfull of other, newcomers can't help but think that these meetings are nothing more than a kindergarden class. Case in point:
During a meeting 3 men were up and down, made paper airplanes during the meeting loudly, grt none were thrown. Also a huge deal is made about cross talk and some sort of cheerleading prior to someone sharing. These men obviouly have control over this group because nonone will confront and be firm with them, most of the members rationize about "principle before personality". People, agreed, we are sick people trying to get our lifes together but dealing with older gentlement acting out for attention, when is it time to confront and ask these guys to step out. Or should we allow 3 or 4 Peter Pans to passively ruin these group. Case in point, the night these guys were acting like cheerleaders and making paper planes, there was at least 3 newcomers. I've only seen 1 guy return. Sad, what does anyone suggest to make this group the recovery group that it shows it can be w/o all the histriontics.




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EmiliaHot

[Dallas]

Thanks for sharing Sammie. We appreciate your participation here.

I think I understand. I've been in too many meetings like the one that you described. This seems to happen often in discussion meetings. Some bullies come in to the meeting, to feed their egos, to get attention, and to disrupt the meeting -- often, I think, because they've gone to weak meetings where there was no structure and discipline, they got some laughs, their 15 minutes of AA fame -- the group doesn't do anything about it -- it continues -- and people die as a result of it.

I was just reading another topic and noticed this quote: "Two dead batteries can not start a car."

Without near total unity in the group -- there isn't much that one or two people can do to fix it. With unity in the group -- there are some things that can be done. However, if only one or two people are trying to bring about the necessary positive changes -- I've experienced situations where the group will actually turn against the one's who are trying to fix the problems.

When you don't have group unity -- the best thing I've discovered is to start a new group and a new meeting that does have unity. Establish some structure and discipline and order in the format of the new meeting. Stick w/ it -- and when those that complain about your rules or guidelines -- let them know that they are free to leave and go to the meetings that allow disruptions and people that disrupt.

If meetings are not focused on recovery and the solution, in an orderly and structured way -- the meetings are a waste of everyone's time.

Best wishes to you, and if I can be helpful, let me know.

Dallas

[cue]

I agree with Dallas. If the group is healthy, unified and open to growth it will allow you to share your concerns at the group conscience and change will come about. A healthy group will welcome constructive criticism (although sometimes slowly ). If the group is unhealthy be prepared for hostility.