Another part that often gets mangled is...
"Made DIRECT amends to such people WHEREVER possible,"
Direct = "face to face" eyeballs to eyeballs.
Wherever = where ever and NOT when ever.
People don't want to get a letter or a voicemail or email saying "I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?" or a "I'm sorry I got so angry at you but I forgive you!"
Steps 8 & 9, I don't believe are about forgiveness. They are about RESTITUTION. Making things right. Paying money we owe. Paying for things we cheated and stole. And, DOING SOMETHING other than just saying something to make up for our harms done to others.
What I think would be a great topic would be "Restitution." What did you pay, how did you re-pay, what did you do OTHER THAN saying I'm sorry and seeking forgiveness.
And, forgiveness of others -- will come naturally as parts of Steps 4, & 5, and 8 & 9, as we "find a new angle to look at things" and as a realization of the pitiful things that we did... We'll finally become willing to give others a break instead of holding resentments.
Forgiveness is not a prerequisite for getting over resentments. However, for some people, it does seem to help them.
I don't want forgiveness from those that I harmed, nor do I seek their forgiveness. I want to be honest with them, bite the bullet, pay what I owe to them, and go out of my way to make it right.
IF they forgive me -- that's their business. And, not mine. Also, if God knows that I know that I have done all within my capability to make it right -- IF God wants to forgive me, that, too -- is God's business.
The reason I feel this way? This is a program of Action -- not a program of Thinking. Forgiveness is more associated with thinking rather than action and amending.
We make our amends and let it go. If they accept our amends -- that, too, is their business.
When I lay down at night, and I know that I've done all that I can do to clear the record of my past -- I feel at peace with myself. I'm not holding anything against myself -- so, if I'm not holding anything against myself -- why would I seek to forgive myself?