- Time to change AA Group

Time to change AA Group




Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

Time to change AA Group

Postby Toast » Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:57 pm

Evening all, hope alls well.

Suffering from group fatigue tonight, seems to be same old same old and our numbers are dwindling rapidly. The guy who started the group still holds the reigns and wont let go. He's a real nice guy who helps lots of people but he's in danger of making the group his entire lifes work. I've only been a member since last October and don't want to change groups again so soon but i'm giving it some serious thought.

Any experience on this subject would be welcome.
Last edited by Toast on Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Time to change AA Group

Postby john boy » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:44 pm

Toast,

I will share my experience...I recently resigned from what was my home group for 24 years...It is something I should've done so sooner but because it is sometimes difficult to let go I remained. I had allowed myself to become somewhat immersed in the personality issues/meeting format dispute that arose 2 years ago. I believed if I persevered in the end all would end well. I was wrong...I became part of the problem. Through all of this I carry a disappointment in myself. (Is it my ego?) You see,I made a promise to myself in early sobriety, that I would never become a distraction, especially to the newcomer. I broke that promise. Not beating myself up over it just saying how I feel. I have moved on and that "magic" we feel is back and once again it "feels right". Not suggesting what you should or shouldn't do...just my experience.

best,
John
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Re: Time to change AA Group

Postby Toast » Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:43 am

Thanks john boy,

I'm sure it tells us somewhere about the dangers of becoming too dogmatic and how rigidity can tear us apart.

Loved your take on not being a distraction, food for thought indeed?

But you got it in a nutshell, its all about feeling right. I always say we feel our way into soberiety.If we're only sticking by a group to prove a point then we're going for all the wrong reasons.

Most groups round our way are run by ' personalities' who don't always take kindly to new members who are longer around than they are, not that time's got anything to do with the quality of our soberiety. My sponsor always tells me this is all about distance not time, its all about how much distance we put between our new life and our old one.

Guess i may soon have to feel my way into another group or look around for premises to start a new one?

Or maybe its time i stopped thinking too much and just got back to work?

Be well

PS, i think i'm sharing this in the wrong forum?
Toast
 
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Re: Time to change AA Group

Postby Toast » Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:23 am

Hi, we were discusssing when is it time to change your home group?

Guess i'm a bit like Keith, i like to be in a group thats part of our worldwide fellowship of AA and not one that's cutting corners because some members want to practice minimum input and maximum output from AA.

There are also some groups i stay away from because you just know there is a big ' black cloud' hanging around that venue. Usually some bitter old guy waiting to pounce should anyone dare mention the recovery programme!

We also have guys here doing service meeting employers at mental health seminars in fancy hotels but these same guys don't even have a message to carry to the drunk sitting next to them in a meeting? They sponsor no one and condem any mention of the Big Book or the 12 Steps?

But as i was saying around here lots of groups go out there way to welcome brand new members but if you've been around a few years and always changing groups every now and then folks ( especially AA folks!) start to think your still doing some sort of geographical move to get away from trouble?

Over the last 18 yrs I've been in 6 different groups. Mind you one of them only lasted about 6 weeks, until i made it to a group conscience meeting and observed the group tyrants blasting all the other members for there incompetence when clearing up!

The big danger here is some folks who run groups set themselves up as some sort of guru who enjoy a following, this is usually members younger in soberiety. It's no longer known as an AA group its ' Toms group or Harry's group.' Thats why guys like me find it hard to swallow there BS. But the worst part is their pigeons become so dependant on them that when the wise one finally grows old and dies the followers usually get drunk and fall of the edge of the planet. Partly because these poor souls have never been taught to stand on there own 2 feet in AA.

I suppose i was the same when i was going through my ' pioneer' phase in AA. Me and my friend still laugh at how we were going to rewrite the Big Book and do all sorts of stuff that had been working just fine for years before we came along.

Thankfully i matured out of my 'Pioneer' phase only to move onto my ' Billy Graham' phase. Boy if i thought i was a judgemental opinionated in your face drunk i cringe when i think what i was like then!

Love,light,laughter!
Toast
 
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Re: Time to Change Groups?

Postby Dallas » Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:33 am

Great topic. Thanks for moving this topic over here. I'll see if I can move the other posts from Check-In's to here if you want. Let me know and I'll give it a try.
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Re: Time to Change Groups?

Postby Toast » Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:34 am

Yes please do Dallas, i didn't want to tamper with anyones elses contributions to the site.

Be well
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Re: Time to Change Groups?

Postby Dallas » Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:43 pm

Hey! I figured out how to move posts! LOL.
Who would have thunk it? :-)

Obviously, I do not have ALL power! LOL.
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Re: Time to change AA Group

Postby Toast » Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:40 pm

Then again its in our nature to move around.

AA and my marriage are the only 2 things ive stuck too in my life, everything else has either been tossed out the window or i'd took my eye of the ball and it slipped out my grasp.

Jobs and friends have came and gone but my wife and my AA buddies are still here and i don't know where i'd be without either of you!

God Bless
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Re: Time to change AA Group

Postby Dallas » Sat Aug 04, 2012 5:39 am

I really enjoyed reading that Keith. Thanks for sharing.
In sobriety I have experienced many of those same things so I can definitely relate to it.
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Re: Time to change AA Group

Postby Toast » Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:49 pm

Hi,

When i started this topic i was a member of a step study group that done me more good than harm but was getting a bit stale, mostly due to personalities having lots of knowledge about the steps but faces like Mount Rushmore when they shared about them.

Finally after the numbers plummeted the group decided to change the format to a good old care and share meeting. Now it’s my job to invite speakers in from other meetings to share there experience, strength and hope with our group. It’s now like a new group with a whole new outlook on life. The numbers are up and we're attracting more newbies than we did before. We can still talk the programme but in a more personal way than before. That way the newcomers get to hear how we each tackled the programme on an individual basis and how we all overcame our own individual hurdles to stay sober.

The group members also have to think more now about there own recovery and stop quoting straight out a book. They're like new men and women and even though I’ve known most of them for years i now get to know them even better.

The new way of doing is working so well i feel like I’m in a new group but the only thing that’s happened is the group had to change to survive but now a lot more alcoholics are reaping the benefits of attending this particular meeting.

With hindsight being an exact science we should have done it a long time ago. The meeting is in a small blue-collar town a few miles from where i live and for the amount of alcoholics in the town I’m still surprised there's only this one small AA meeting once a week. It would have been a crying shame to close it and cut the only lifeline for so many alcoholics who definately need it but only they don't know it YET!

I can honestly say it was Gods will working through our group conscience that kept the doors open. And for that I’m truly humbled yet again.

Gob Bless
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