- How has AA helped you?

How has AA helped you?




Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

How has AA helped you?

Postby Dallas » Sat Aug 06, 2005 7:18 pm

How has AA helped you?

Please share your experience, strengh and hope of how AA has helped you.

Thank you for sharing!!!
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How AA has helped me

Postby Dallas » Sat Aug 06, 2005 7:21 pm

Hello, my name is Dallas, and I'm alcoholic!!!

"How AA Has Helped Me"

When I first came to AA, I thought that the only problem that I had was excessive uncontrolled drinking... and the problems that occurred while drinking. So, my first perception of AA was that it could help me with my drinking problem, it could help me stay physically sober, and that was it.

After I got sober, I discovered that I had many other problems besides drinking.

My greatest problem was my untreated alcoholism which made me very restless, irritable and discontented while not drinking. It was driven by an alcoholic insanity with illogical and false perceptions about myself, alcohol, God, people, life, and everything in life, a physical craving for alcohol, and an emotional compulsion to drink.

To top that off, I was unaware that I had a multitude of negative emotional problems boiling up inside of me that were fueling a compulsion to drink. Fear. Terror. Bewilderment. Guilt. Remorse. Anger. Resentments. Emotional Insecurity. Feelings of personal inadequacy. Low self-esteem. Degrading Self-image… combined with an uncontrollable Ego that demanded that I was either “better-thanâ€
Dallas
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Postby crickit » Sun Aug 07, 2005 12:17 am

Thank you so much for sharing Dallas. You have what we all want. Many years of happy sobriety.

For me the experience was a little different. After being in and out of psychiatric hospitals, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists etc. etc. etc. I knew I was not like normal people and kept looking for the pill that was going to make me feel better. My last trip to the hospital was at the end of January. I was just so tired of trying. Everything around me was falling apart and there was nothing I could do. My husband left me and came back on the condition that I accept him for who he is or else. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, my 2 sisters were diagnosed with terminal cancer, my other sister's husband died from complications to diabeties, my other sister (I have 4 sister, 2 brothers) lost her job and started drinking herself into oblivion and lost her house, my son got his girlfreind of 2 months pregnant, my 18 year old daughter droped out of college and started drinking and doing drugs, my 15 year old daughter quit school and ran away from her dads and was living with a coke head. This all happened with in a year. So what did I do. Drank more and more and more and isolated. Lost all my freinds, never went out, stopped eating etc., etc.,

While explaining everything to the psychiatrist at the hospital he asked if I have a problem drinking. I said of course not, I just drink so I can sleep at night. At this point I was drinking at least 12 beers a night and if that wasn't enough I would ad vodka to the mix. I was also doubling up on my pain medication and using medicinal marajuana for the pain in my legs. I was still unable to sleep. So when I was released from the hospital it was suggested that I quit drinking and get some help from AA.

I came home with the full intentions of checking out the AA meetings. But when I came home my son called and said they wanted nothing to do with me until I get some help and I wasn't go to see my grandson. That night I went out and bought a bottle of wine. Just a couple of glasses to help me sleep. Well 1 hour later with the magnum gone I was so depressed I couldn't take it any more. I couldn't change anything that was happening and I couldn't live with it anymore. That night I took a dagger and tried to drive it through my chest. I was so drunk and so week I couldn't get the dagger through my chest. It hit my ribs and wouldn't go any further. I don't really remember much more about that night other that crying myself to sleep and praying over and over and over again for the gods to show me the way.

I woke up around noon the next day with the dagger still laying beside me and blood all over my chest. I was shocked at what I had done and new I had to get help but didn't want to go back to the hospital because that never worked. I picked up the pampflet that listed all the AA meetings and thought I'd go to check it out. It turned out there was a meeting that night so I cleaned myself up, closed the wounds with fake skin so I wouldn't have to tell anyone what I had done. I thought I would go to this meeting, sit in the back of the room and just see what they had to say. Well, just my luck, it was a closed meeting. Introductions first and I was 2nd in line. Hello, I'm so and so and I'm an alcoholic. My turn. As soon as I said it light bulbs went off and I started to cry. I sat and listened to all the people talk about how alcohol had affected there lives and how when they joined AA everything changed. After the meeting a woman came up to me and asked if I was ok. I said I think I'm an alcoholic. She told me I was in the right place. As we talked further she said all I have to do is to quit drinking and go to meetings. I told her I have no problem quiting, I've done it plenty of times. What I wanted was to learn how to live. She said 'then you're in the right place'. She bought me the big book and I went home and started to read it right away. Things were still pretty foggy for the first couple of months but all I wanted was to learn to live. Now almost 6 months later, one of my sisters has passed away. My other sister is very close to the end. My husband and I are seperated again. My son still doesn't speak to me. My MS is getting progressively worse. The trial medication I'm on is causing damage to my liver and heart and now they have found a cyst in the base of my brain. So my life has not gotten any better but somehow I have decided that it's my life and it's all of got and I want to live. Every day is still a struggle but I do smile now, I laugh, I cry and I feel lonely sometimes. But the big difference is I don't want a drink. I don't need a drink. All the reasons I had before for wanting a drink are now the reasons I don't drink.

And that is what AA has done for me. AA has given my will to live back. What happens in my life now is the gods will and I am prepared to accept the lessons as they come. It sure hasn't been easy so far and I know I have a long way to go and a lot to learn but now I know I'm not alone. One day at a time, one hour at a time and sometimes one minute at a time but I know there is nothing in this world that is so bad that a drink won't make worse.

Thanks for listening and sorry for repeating myself for those who already know part of my story. I've never told anyone the part about the dagger, not even my sponsors. The scars will always be there over my heart to remind me of that day that seems so long ago now. I truely am very greatful to be an alcoholic because if I wasn't I never would have found AA.

HAPPY 24 HOURS EVERYONE
Crickit
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I can't imagine

Postby 918gma » Sun Aug 07, 2005 7:09 am

I am at the point that I begin to realise. I am totally dependant on this program.

I came itnto the program to save my job. My definition of functional alcoholic, and my supervisors were not the same.

The day they took me to the Captian's office. He asked me if I had been drinking and I said yes. Then he asked me if I had a problem with alcohol, and for some reason unexplainalble to me, I said yes. He sent me home that day and told me to do what ever it took to get the problem sovled. He said he was not interferring in my life, but I could never show up to work again with alcohol in my system.

I knew about AA because at that time my son had ten years of sobriety. My biggest fear was going through the withdrawls. Not for me, but because I have a handicapp daughter, and I didn't want to get sick infront of her. So I jump all the hoops and got acepted into a hospital do withdrawl. They kept me 5 days, and I actually di go through quite a bit of the symptoms I had seen in others.

Then they turned me loose. I turned to my son and said OK what next. Find a book Mom and go to a meeting. This from a kid with 10 years of sobriety. Thanks son.

It turns out that he was worried and wanted to lead me by the hand, but his sponsor told him not to, that I had to find my way on my own for my own reasons.

I'm glad he did, other wise I would not have done it for the right reasons, and I would have depended on my son to do it for me. We all know that would not have worked.

So I started my jorney on my own. There was no doubt in my mind I had more drinking I could have done. But I was so relieved to be through with it, to have it out in the open that I just kept going. Now over a year later I have never been so grateful in my life for the things that have changed in me. The things I have learned have been awsome. Things have changed for me that I never thought would. I have friends. I am closer to my family. God is a part of every aspect of my life.

My son has since gone back out. For right now it's ok, becasuse he is going through what he needs to to get where God wants him to be. I can't stop or controll it. Just knowing that has helped me through it.

This program has changed my life, on every level. Thank God for AA.
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Postby crickit » Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:14 am

Isn't it amazing the things we can learn from our own children if we'd only listen.

BB
Crickit
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Postby blueangel » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:05 pm

I came to AA looking for an ALANON meeting this year:lol: Oh what a lost and foolish girl I was. I had stopped drinking in 1979 when I got pregnant with my daughter, and had already lost one child due to my lifestyle, drinking, and drugs. I was introduced to AA in the 1980's with an ex-husband doing his so many meetings in so many days to get a drivers license back. I went to the meetings but still drank not knowing if i was an alcoholic or not, and really didn't care since it was the husband that was the alcoholic, not me :lol: I go through 20 plus more horrid years and men and I just couldn't figure out why did I seem to always end up with these alcoholic men in my life? They had the problem not me!
The 3rd of July of this year a series of events with the current but ex husband happened, and I demanded that he get help in order to stay in the house! Being the dutiful little wife I offer to go to ALANON as well. seemed like sound judgement at the time.. We both get help and the whole world is better. YEAH right! :lol: :lol: :lol: The ex and I go for a face to face meeting and even he states that I don't drink much. During the course of this meeting I start to realize "hmmm there is more to this than I was thinking there was" I start reading the Ex's BB and the more I read the more the more I started to notice similarities . :shock:
The end result is, the ex is gone, don't know where and not worried about it, and I go to every meeting I can find because I am indeed an alcoholic and I now see that more by the day. I haven't been going to AA for very long this time around but it's sinking in, which is shocking to me, and my entire life has been going in this upward turn. I can't even compare the me on July 2nd to the me today. The old me still peeks it's hidious head up, but I am getting better at catching that when it happens and able to get back on track before any damage is done.
I am so much more at peace in my life and it's even starting to have a meaning to me! The old me would be waiting for the other shoe to drop, but the me today is looking forward to today and tomorrow. Bad things may happen still but I am gaining the tools I need to get through them alot easier and even laugh at them occassionally rather than the doom and dread that I used to feel on a daily basis.
I had to have cataracts surgeries on the 13th and 29th of July which actually to me seems a significant time frame for me, and returning to AA and learning the steps. I was sitting at the meeting house last night waiting for everyone to get there, and doodled a little poem if you would call it that of just my thoughts on they cataracts in terms of my life. It may seem lame but I'm no author either so bear with me :lol:
My Cataracts In My Life
I had cataracts that clouded everything in my life.
I was nearly blinded by this problem, making rash
judgements, and never really seeing anything as it truly was.
I sought help for this affliction that caused so much chaos
in my life, and am seeing much better everyday.
My vision in life may be imperfect yet I am seeing things
much more clearly everyday, and I strive to see all things
as they are in my life
With God's direction I will make it and see everything more
clearly than I did when everything was cloudy, dismall, and sad.
My goal each day with God's direction is to be joyous happy,
and free!
Have a great day everyone, Kay :D
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Postby crickit » Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:50 pm

It may seem lame but I'm no author either so bear with me
My Cataracts In My Life
I had cataracts that clouded everything in my life.
I was nearly blinded by this problem, making rash
judgements, and never really seeing anything as it truly was.
I sought help for this affliction that caused so much chaos
in my life, and am seeing much better everyday.
My vision in life may be imperfect yet I am seeing things
much more clearly everyday, and I strive to see all things
as they are in my life
With God's direction I will make it and see everything more
clearly than I did when everything was cloudy, dismall, and sad.
My goal each day with God's direction is to be joyous happy,
and free!


Thanks for sharing Kay and it's not lame at all. In fact it's quite the analogy. We all had a million reasons why we couldn't possibly be an alcoholic but the truth finally set me free.

HAPPY 24 HOURS
Crickit
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Location: Ontario, Canada

Postby Dallas » Wed Aug 24, 2005 3:55 pm

Hey Group!!!

You've got me worried!!! The last post here for "How has AA Helped You" is almost a week old!

AA is still helping you, isn't it?

It keeps working -- if we keep working it!

Dallas
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby crickit » Thu Sep 08, 2005 5:30 pm

AA has given me a new life. I had a very troubled childhood and was diagnosed with Bi-polar illness very young. (I know, I'm one of the hopless according to the BB). I've been in and out of psych wards, hospitals, detox etc. I've been addicted to everything from alcohol, drugs, sex and even Bingo. I've moved from one place to the next searching for happiness. I've gone from Doctor to Doctor to Doctor looking for help. And one little book gave me all the answers I've been looking for all these years.

I no longer feel the need to run or to hide or to drown my sorrows. I no longer need to analyse my childhood and 'come to terms' with crap that happened to me. Yesterday is gone and tommorow is yet to be. I still get depressed and I still get manic and bad things still happen to me but I now have the tools I need to deal with it. I am who I am and I'm ok with that. I now do the best I can to be the best person I can possibly be.

I will be forever greatful to the founders of AA and to all the members who carry that message to those who are still suffering. With the help of AA and my higher power I was able to find that inocent, harmless little girl inside of me that just wanted to be happy and loved.

Bright Blessings
Crickit
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How has AA Helped You?

Postby Dallas » Sun May 28, 2006 6:06 am

Geez... I just recognized that no one has posted to the topic of

"How has AA Helped You" since last September!!! That's like eight months!

Perhaps, it's not a popular topic.

Is the topic inappropriate or something?

Did I ask the wrong question?

AA is still helping you, isn't it?

With over 250 members who've joined this forum... I hope that AA is helping more than just the few of them that has posted here!

Dallas
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
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