I came to AA looking for an ALANON meeting this year:lol: Oh what a lost and foolish girl I was. I had stopped drinking in 1979 when I got pregnant with my daughter, and had already lost one child due to my lifestyle, drinking, and drugs. I was introduced to AA in the 1980's with an ex-husband doing his so many meetings in so many days to get a drivers license back. I went to the meetings but still drank not knowing if i was an alcoholic or not, and really didn't care since it was the husband that was the alcoholic, not me
I go through 20 plus more horrid years and men and I just couldn't figure out why did I seem to always end up with these alcoholic men in my life? They had the problem not me!
The 3rd of July of this year a series of events with the current but ex husband happened, and I demanded that he get help in order to stay in the house! Being the dutiful little wife I offer to go to ALANON as well. seemed like sound judgement at the time.. We both get help and the whole world is better. YEAH right!
The ex and I go for a face to face meeting and even he states that I don't drink much. During the course of this meeting I start to realize "hmmm there is more to this than I was thinking there was" I start reading the Ex's BB and the more I read the more the more I started to notice similarities .
The end result is, the ex is gone, don't know where and not worried about it, and I go to every meeting I can find because I am indeed an alcoholic and I now see that more by the day. I haven't been going to AA for very long this time around but it's sinking in, which is shocking to me, and my entire life has been going in this upward turn. I can't even compare the me on July 2nd to the me today. The old me still peeks it's hidious head up, but I am getting better at catching that when it happens and able to get back on track before any damage is done.
I am so much more at peace in my life and it's even starting to have a meaning to me! The old me would be waiting for the other shoe to drop, but the me today is looking forward to today and tomorrow. Bad things may happen still but I am gaining the tools I need to get through them alot easier and even laugh at them occassionally rather than the doom and dread that I used to feel on a daily basis.
I had to have cataracts surgeries on the 13th and 29th of July which actually to me seems a significant time frame for me, and returning to AA and learning the steps. I was sitting at the meeting house last night waiting for everyone to get there, and doodled a little poem if you would call it that of just my thoughts on they cataracts in terms of my life. It may seem lame but I'm no author either so bear with me
My Cataracts In My Life
I had cataracts that clouded everything in my life.
I was nearly blinded by this problem, making rash
judgements, and never really seeing anything as it truly was.
I sought help for this affliction that caused so much chaos
in my life, and am seeing much better everyday.
My vision in life may be imperfect yet I am seeing things
much more clearly everyday, and I strive to see all things
as they are in my life
With God's direction I will make it and see everything more
clearly than I did when everything was cloudy, dismall, and sad.
My goal each day with God's direction is to be joyous happy,
Have a great day everyone, Kay