Called to serve

[918gma]

It's just me with an insight, or a hind sight or some thing I just don't know what to do with. So here it goes
As many of you know, I have a handicapped daughter. When I first got sober and up until a few months ago, I had to depend on the help of my family to get to meetings. a lot of times it involved just flat sneaking out and let my family deal with Kay. It was very difficult, but I felt like it was my families way of supporting me. A little self center, I know but that's my point I guess.
Tonight I was out playing cards with some program friends. The host and hostess were celebrating his 20 years in the program. He had been asked to speak at an other meeting tomorrow night. They have two handicapped children, both adults like Kay. During the party, She sprung it on her Other kids that they need a sitter for tomorrow night. I got to see first hand what I had been asking of my own family all this time. I was very uncomfortable with the realization that I put my family into some pretty ruff spots to suport my sobriety.
Was I wrong, was there another way. What do you think.

[wareagle10]

I don't know if you were wrong or not. Not knowing your family it is hard to say, but, I have worked with women with challenged children and adults and, yes, it is hard to find a caregiver to cover those times when you need some time for you. I have found that most families, while maybe not eager, will stick their hand out when asked. They all know what you are going through and the amount of time it takes to care for someone. You might ask them, explain what prompted you to bring it up, and see what they say. I would venture that they are more understanding than you might think and realize that you need to be a sober you to do what you do.

I don't believe that I have ever seen the strength, conviction, compassion and courage that are in the women who care for their challenged children or loved ones. You are remarkable people and I have the ultimate admiration for you.

Take care and straight ahead, John.

[918gma]

Support helps more than I can explain.
I am in a whole different realm now, but no less challenging. Although there are other challenges out there that I haven't dealt with that many of you have that, I shake my head in wonder at.
Thanks again

[Dallas]

Was I wrong, was there another way. What do you think

That's funny! I do that!

Here's how the game get's played:

1. I take an old "action"... something I did in the past (it's history).

2. I see someone do something and it reminds me of what I did (that's already history).

3. Then I start to think about it!!!

4. To add more fuel to it... I'll get others thinking about it... and talking to me about it...and it will get real exciting the bigger the fire gets!

Regardless of "what" I think about a past act... I will still be living in the past... when I'm thinking about it in the present.

I didn't understand it then... and I won't understand it now... all I'll do is be living in the past.... "thinking" about something that I cannot change. (Because it's in the past).

My "head" will tell me "well if you think about it now... it can

change the way you feel about it.

Then, I have to remind my head, that "If I don't think about it... I won't feel anything about it. It's gone. It's history."

So, how do I keep my head off of it? I have to think about the "now"... I have to keep my head on the "right now!"

And... how do I do that? I just take a "present action." A what?

Like this... right now... I'll click the submit button... get my butt out of this chair and go nuke a cup of coffee.... and pet my dog on the way to the kitchen.

Hugs to you.

Dallas

[918gma]

nuke me one too. LOL

[Rusty Zipper]

granny, what matters is now. if you think you can do something better, do it. as you know, the past is just that. your a good person, a good mother, and a good friend. again, as you know, if you do not get better, how may you be of any use to anyone. bottom line. there in lies the balance part of recovery. you, and only you can know where and when that is. just keep seeking it. remember we are alk'y's, if we weren't there might be a little less confussion and uncertantys. kay is ok i hope. please send my love to her. i used to get a kick out of talking to her. you will find your, and a good balance, and i might add. in Gods time.......


all good wishes Granny, and as you do, give some love................. xxoo, PC