easier, softer way

[anniemac]

The other night at a meeting, a guy there commented on the part of How It Works that says that we tried to find an easier softer way but we could not.

He said that for years, he interpreted that to mean that there was no easy way to do this -- that it's a lot of work and there are no shortcuts.

Then one day he saw a different meaning....that this (the Steps) is so easy and soft, that a way that is easier and softer just does not exist.

I had never thought about this before, and had always assumed his first interpretation was what the statement meant.

What do you all think?

[Jaysdad55]

I am Jay and I am an alcohclic:I have found that reading the Big Book and going to meetings is the easier softer way.This is my first time in here so if someone will let me know if I am doing it right.
TY Jay

[eastcoastscott]

Hi guys,

"an easier softer way"...than what?? I think what is prefaced is the what...doing the steps.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. thought we could find an easier, softer way.
just my interpretation.

[Dallas]

Hello Jay!!! Welcome to the site and to the forum!!!

You're doing just great! Thanks for jumping in and letting us know about you and to hear from you!

Dallas

[Susan]

I agree, living the step and traditions is the easier softer way. I will say for me, the information in the Big Book and 12X12 is written so an alcoholic can understand it. I tried everything but this solution is what given me sobriety and a wonderful life.

[garden variety]

I wanted to comment on this too.

The way I see it, I'm an alcoholic. As such, I really believe that alkies are the preeminent "deal-makers". That's because some of us have our backs against the wall so many times, we've developed that particular talent to "wheel and deal" or "weasel" out of some of those tight spots. You know what I mean - lets compromise now and somehow lessen the consequences.

Well I think that gets carried over into sobriety because it became such a "well-used" asset and way to handle problems. So for me its pretty undertstandable that I look at these 12 steps and try to find an easier softer way with them - like maybe I can get away with only doing 3 steps or 5 steps or 8 steps. Like the real alcoholic I was while drinking, I'm looking "at the angles" trying to find a shortcut. Trying to find a "softer easier way".

I think that's just what the writers meant. What I get out of that saying is "THIS IS IT! IT DON'T GET EASIER SO STOP TRYING TO FIND AN EASIER WAY OUT." That Bill W. fellow was just like me and I can see and hear the "weasel" in him. I mean look at Bill W. He's the only guy who gets "his story" published up front - I mean the first chapter! Everyone else's story including Dr. Bob gets their story in AFTER the "basic text" of 164 pages. But Bill W., not so, he "wheeled and dealed" and somehow got over. But God bless him - like I said, I understand right where he's coming from.

For this alcohlic, that's where it has to get back to what Dallas said about doing what I don't want to do and not doing what I want to do. I have to give up the "weasel" within. And God only knows I can only do that one day at a time.

Those words in "How it works" aren't just cheap little decorations to make the book sell. By god, I believe with all my heart that those first 100 alcoholics not only tried, but tried their hardest to find an easier softer way than these 12 steps and the book's 164 pages. When they say they tried but could not find an easier softer way, by golly it weren't for not trying - I tell you what! They knew us before we were even born and told our stories and figured out exactly how we'd try to weasel around something that is already easy, and try to find an easier way.

God bless those fellows - they knew me all too well!