Freedom

[anniemac]

How about Freedom as a topic? What does Freedom in sobriety mean to you?

[Scott: Alcoholic]

Sweet...another nice topic, indeed.

Freedom. Takes me right to the Third Step prayer: "...Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will."
This, right here, was a piece to an incomplete puzzle - that remained mostly incomplete for a very long time.

I could not -would not- get out of my own way. I was every obstacle that I'd ever encountered in seeking freedom from the vice that I felt was crushing me.
My program was not in my feet...not in my heart...it was in my head; the place where every ill concieved notion that brought me to AA continued to work at finding solutions to the things that kept me earthbound, self-efficient and unable to launch into that 4th dimension.
When I finally offered the Third Step prayer to God, with humility and with all of the earnestness at my command, in that very moment [abandoning everything that my intellect and reasoning had found strength in for so many years] and knowing that I was truly willing to go to any length...that "bondage of self" was loosed.

That, Dear AnnieMac is what Freedom in sobriety means to me.

And what can I now do with this freedom? Pass it on to another alcoholic who is truly wants to be catapulted into the 4th dimension.

Thank you for the opportunity!

Scott

[Tina L.]

nice topic. hey to all of u!

freedom is to be me and to be okay with being me.

tina xoxoxo

[flowerbud]

Good topic anniemac;

And Scott, you have hit on the head for me… as I am going through pretty much the same ordeal right now as you went through. I’m trying to make that connection with “Godâ€

[Scott: Alcoholic]

What I have found - and continue to witness and hear from the shared experience of others - is that God takes those defects of character and uses them to His advantage. I find that I am sometimes baffled as to why 'this' particular defect still seems so predominent, while another seems to have disappeared. Usually about the time this realization hits me, a situation will come along when God will 'play' that defect of mine to get the attention of someone standing right in front of me - 99% of the time, that someone in front of me is seeking an answer/help and that defect of mine -in God's play- facilitates the answer. There are character defects that I will likely have to hold onto a lot longer than others...and that's ok today; they will help me make that necessary and life-changing contact that opens the door to the 4th dimension for another alcoholic.

I have been made to understand that God does take them away only after they have best served His purpose.

It's weird, I don't understand it completely...but it works. And as those more obvious and glaring defects fall away they only provide proof to those around me that what I am doing and the power that I have tapped into really works...and I don't have to say a word. All I have to do is show up and be willing, without condition and without reservation. God does the rest.

So, don't be in too much of a hurry to be rid of all of them...one or two may [and most likely will] provide the exact tool you need to save another person's life one day. We can learn to live with them while God shuffles us to the opportunity they are cultivated for and we still get to enjoy the freedom too!

At least this is what I tell my wife when I have really goofed...LOL!

S

[anniemac]

I agree, freedom from bondage of self has been a big one for me, and I've only just scratched the surface of that one. There's a lot of work left to accomplish to further loosen that bondage.

Also, when I drank I lived a double life. I was a suburban working mother who attended PTA meetings, and it was exhausting to maintain that "image", and I lived in fear of others finding out who I really was. I now have total freedom simply in my existance...if someone rings the door unannounced, I don't have to pretend I'm not there. If a neighbor waves to me, I don't have to turn my head for fear that they'll see my hungover face. Total freedom from all of those and other fears.

Plus, in addition to the "freedom from....." stuff, there's a tremendous amount of "freedom to.....". Freedom from is a removal of a negative; freedom to is the addition of a positive. There are a lot of new positives in my life.

I have the freedom to return to college for my undergrad degree. I have the freedom to take yoga classes and to learn to meditate. I have the freedom to travel and attend seminars that interest me. I have the freedom to learn to kayak. I have the freedom to join a gym and get in shape, to be mindful of what I eat and to feel better. I have the freedom to express how I feel without being nasty. I have the freedom to hold my head high and to know that today, I am the best Annie I can be at this point in time.