Earlier in sobriety, I didn't understand what folks meant when they said they applied the Steps to their daily life. I thought that the Steps were to be done and finished, an entity unto themselves. I couldn't figure out how to apply them to specific situations.
Then, I heard a speaker tape by Lila R. and she gave a great example of how she applied each Step to situations in her life. She talked about having had a disagreement with a friend, and her process about it was:
I can't change that that happened (Step 1), God please help me with this (2 & 3), what was my part in this? (4), can I talk to you about this? (5), please help me be less selfish (6 & 7), I'm sorry I got upset (8 & 9). (or something like that - don't quote me!) I found that to be so helpful.
I realized the other day how I've integrated some of that in to my daily living. I was pulling out of a parking space along the side of the road, and a woman in front of me was doing the same thing. However, she hesitated and didn't pull out in to traffic when she could have. I found myself muttering to myself "c'mon, lady, what the hell's your problem? GO!!" Then immediately (cause I've trained myself to do this) I asked myself what I was afraid of.....cause, I've come to believe that all negative character traits are rooted in fear. I find fear beneath my anger, my sadness, my jealousy, all of them. Always comes down to fear. So, anyway, what I realized was, that my fear was rooted in not knowing what to do -- should I wait for her to pull out, or if I go to pull out and around her, will she dart out and hit me? I felt confused (not big-time, this was all subtle) and unsure of how to proceed....so my reaction was to feel anger toward her. So right on the spot, I was able to do a 4th Step about it and go right in to 6 & 7 and ask God to relieve me of my fears.
How do you integrate the Steps in to your life??
