Living the Steps

Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery
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Living the Steps

Postby anniemac » Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:35 pm

Earlier in sobriety, I didn't understand what folks meant when they said they applied the Steps to their daily life. I thought that the Steps were to be done and finished, an entity unto themselves. I couldn't figure out how to apply them to specific situations.

Then, I heard a speaker tape by Lila R. and she gave a great example of how she applied each Step to situations in her life. She talked about having had a disagreement with a friend, and her process about it was:

I can't change that that happened (Step 1), God please help me with this (2 & 3), what was my part in this? (4), can I talk to you about this? (5), please help me be less selfish (6 & 7), I'm sorry I got upset (8 & 9). (or something like that - don't quote me!) I found that to be so helpful.

I realized the other day how I've integrated some of that in to my daily living. I was pulling out of a parking space along the side of the road, and a woman in front of me was doing the same thing. However, she hesitated and didn't pull out in to traffic when she could have. I found myself muttering to myself "c'mon, lady, what the hell's your problem? GO!!" Then immediately (cause I've trained myself to do this) I asked myself what I was afraid of.....cause, I've come to believe that all negative character traits are rooted in fear. I find fear beneath my anger, my sadness, my jealousy, all of them. Always comes down to fear. So, anyway, what I realized was, that my fear was rooted in not knowing what to do -- should I wait for her to pull out, or if I go to pull out and around her, will she dart out and hit me? I felt confused (not big-time, this was all subtle) and unsure of how to my reaction was to feel anger toward her. So right on the spot, I was able to do a 4th Step about it and go right in to 6 & 7 and ask God to relieve me of my fears.

How do you integrate the Steps in to your life??

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Postby Dallas » Fri Dec 22, 2006 5:18 pm

This is a great topic Anne! Thanks for starting the discussion!

I'll post something here soon.


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Postby Dallas » Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:21 am

Gees. Soon isn't very definitive is it? :oops:

The real question for me has always been "How do I integrate my Life in to the 12 Steps?" That has been my daily challenge.

At first it was fear that kept me from integrating my life into the 12 Steps. Then, it became sloth and procrastination. Other times, it was success. (Life-going-so-good-I-hate-to-screw-it-up syndrome).

To integrate my life into the 12 Steps required many changes. Oh what an order!!!!

Every day is a day when I will choose whether or not I am still willing to change for the better. To take the next right action can be a difficult task. For me it has required structure and discipline. And, since structure and discipline were my weak points -- I found it too difficult to do it alone.

So... I got a sponsor who could and would help me to stay on track. It's easy to get away with things when I'm keeping track on myself. There seems to be some shadowy side of me that likes to once in a while "get away with stuff." However, by choosing a sponsor to work with... it's not so easy to get away with stuff. :wink:


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Living The Steps

Postby Jim W » Wed Jan 17, 2007 12:43 am

Take the numbers off of the steps and they become a way of living.

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Postby Dallas » Wed Jan 17, 2007 2:01 pm

They're a pretty good design for living with the numbers on them, too! I'm glad the Steps have numbers! It keeps me from doing them backwards. :wink:

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living the program

Postby musicmode » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:28 pm

Hello everyone,

My name is Anne, I'm an alcoholic,

I wondered, am I to apply these priniciples, and these steps...this program...outside of these walls. For whatever reason, & after not too long of a time, Tradition 10: Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy. Tradition 10 jumped off the page. I was moved to read the long version: No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues--particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they express no views whatever. ### 567, ####. This is one I can start w/, I thought. I can take this tradition to the outside world. Heated arguements or discussions that were ####### insignificant, or--furthermore, really none of my business anyway began to disappear. This grew to a point where, when something occured where another person tried to use whatever method to lure me into a place ###, an emotional ####, my response...rather than reaction...would be something like: sorry, that's an outside issue for me. Over time, this tradition has backed me out of situations that, were I still drinking, or not applying this one principle/tradition...I would've roared in head first w/ guns a-blazin'. I'd begun to adapt this program into my daily life.

Since then, it has been my experience...that if I really work this program to the best of my ability...I get back what I put into it. When I work my program, the program works for me--and I don't have to really think about it. The program has taught me how to...just be. Does this happen 100% all of this time? Of course not :twisted: , I'm an alcoholic :wink: . Today I can walk into a crowded room without having to stand right beside an exit ### I can be inside that room another 5-10 feet instead :lol: ####. I could, at one time, be up on a stage, sing a thousand songs to the more people, the better...drunk or sober. When I stopped drinking/came into AA...I couldn't be inside that room full of people--big time clausterphobic. I's about 2 years into the program when my only sibling got married. I wasn't asked to say anything/give a toast, speech, whatever...but it was brought to my attention by another relative that it was my place to do so--so I winged it. By the way, for me, standing up in front of a room full of strangers is much easier than standing up in front of a whole bunch-a people I know. After I was finished, it was mentioned a few times that "they knew I had something planned to say all along." :shock: I contributed that ability to, simply...the meetings. I'd not too long prior finally let go of that "gotta think of something to say", and missing what was gettin' said at the meetings. As I sat down after sayin' whatever it was I said ### dunno...I winged it :? occured to me that I was able to do that because of the program...I, for the first time honestly felt, deep down, that the program was working for me...outside the walls of the meeting halls. I sat for a moment, quietly, and thanked God, of my understanding...for doing for me what I could not, at one time, even begin to comprehend. I didn't have to drink, either--not before outta fear, not after outta celebration/relief, or for any other excuse.

As you work the steps/the program...don't worry about how to apply'll just happen...kind-a like an echo.

Tap 'er cool, kids, & don't sweat the small stuff.

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