Why do THEY get mad… when I talk about ME?

[crickit]

thanks recovered

maybe,just maybe,today, we all are doing the best we can???

I must remember that...but I must add 'for today' because with the help of AA I know I am getting better every day 'one day at a time'

And 'just for today' I am doing the best that I can.

BB
Crickit

[hwitwrks]

what it is dallas is they relate to you . Some times when someones talking in a AA meeting and I feel there directing the comment to me it's because i can relate to wht there saying and sometime i do get mad . and learned that the truth sometimes hurts and thats all there saying, a true fact that i relate to and it helps me learn about myself..

good luck.

hwitwrks

[Dallas]

Hey Angel, I'm not sure how I missed reading your post!!! My experience has shown that the answer you gave works the best for me!

Thanks for sharing!

Dallas

[Dallas]

hwitwrks, welcome to the forums! Thanks for sharing that!

I know that sometimes, I can be so peaceful and serene, and feel so good it's like I'm a bird sitting on a wire wondering where to fly next... and all of a sudden get hit by an anger bug right out of the sky!

I used to have a real bad problem with anger, and I've been able to make lots of progress. But it still amazes me how fast my brain can snap and produce a negative emotion... seemingly out of no where. Then, if I don't do the footwork and paperwork... the negative emotion can eat up my whole day! That's why I'm so glad that we have a Step 10! It gives me a tool to do something about it immediately, rather than let it wreck my day.

You know... as I'm writing this... and thinking about what you said, and applying the answer you gave... it just dawned on me that maybe (I don't want to fully admit this now, do I?) -- maybe "the reason that they get mad, when I'm talking about me, and they think that I'm talking about them" ... is... that "I am probably thinking about me... and thinking about what that they might be thinking about me!!!" Imagine that!

If that's true... then, I, indeed, am the maker of my own misery! And, if I have the power to make my own misery... then, I have the power to do something about it. (Like, use the simple tools and change me!).

Thanks for sharing!!! And, thanks for letting me share, too!

Dallas

BTW: "If I wasn't thinking so much about me... I probably wouldn't even notice it. Would I?"

[hwitwrks]

your totally right if I'm not makeing sence stop me. I use to judge people alot sometimes I still do , but I was told a three word sentence one day that change my thinking.. WHAT ABOUT YOU, that hit me so profoundly. As I'm looking at other peoples defaults and not liking them, I've relized that 90% of the time what I'm seeing in that person that i dont like is exactly who I am. where alcoholics our thinking is the same and most of the time our actions and attitudes our as well to. I can go to any aa meeting in the world walk in the room and beable to relate to what someone in there is saying, thats How I was able to accept the fact that I was a alcoholic. thanks for the reply dallas.

hwitwrks[/quote]

[recoveredbygrace]

one thing that pops into my mind is when we can relate to something being said at meetings,sometimes we are really sensitive(or self centered-selfish)

and it may bring up inner hurt or pain from the past and we re-act from that pain not meaning too to brash or angry or hatefull,etc,and sometimes not realizing we re-act that way.
I was that way for a long time.My wife would say,you have murder in your voice!I would be fairly happy and not realizing I sounded that way.
Today i take time to reply a lot slower and nicer to my fellow alcoholics with a better tone in my voice too.

pass it on,tommy

[Dallas]

Hwitwrks, thanks for the tips! I appreciate it very much.

And, Tommy:

Today i take time to reply a lot slower and nicer to my fellow alcoholics with a better tone in my voice too

Thanks for sharing your experience on this!!! If I could just practice that one simple idea that you shared... more often... I know that my life would be much better off! Sometimes, even when I'm slowly talking, I forget that my tone of voice and facial expressions can be transmitting an entirely different message... than my words are saying.

I think faster than my mouth can keep up! (Or, my fingers... when typing a message ) And, I tend to be blunt, bland and frank about things... instead of more carefully choosing my words. Seems like this is going to be a lifetime job to attain more improvement for me! And, that's not such a bad deal. Keeps me busy... and keeps me out of places that I'd rather not be!

Thanks again,

Dallas

[samantha]

Yep..some are sicker than others. Most of the time I'm reminded how sick I really'm. It's a miracle I'm not drinking......

Must be all that good old A.A. stuff, y'all a reckon?

love you guys...keep coming back....
Sam

[ATL-Male]

About anger....

I recently had the occasion of meeting a member of the board of the clubhouse that I attend and it wasn't pleasant. The situation in which I encountered him left me feeling angry, resentful, and thoroughly beating up on myself for not standing up for myself.

The situation is started with me being in a room by myself talking on my phone and laughing out loud and disturbing a meeting that I didn't know was going on in a room across the hall and both doors were closed, and then being chewed out and having the cops called on me. I completely bit my tongue and turned my phone off but was all the hostility and animosity necessary when simply informing me that I am disturbing a meeting and requesting that I turn my phone off or be more quiet would have sufficed. I would have apologized profusely and maybe even walked outside the building to continue my conversation.

Well I got angry and upset at the disrespect and was on the virge or a drink.

Then a friend told me that "Anger is the Dubious luxury of normal men"

Doesn't say unjustified anger, It says anger in all its forms.

In otherwords Anger kills alcoholics.

[Rusty Zipper]

thats right, and what comes aft'a anger? Hmmm?...