- Checking what condition my condition is in

Checking what condition my condition is in




Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

Checking what condition my condition is in

Postby Dallas » Mon May 28, 2007 8:20 pm

Checking what condition my condition is in

[i]“What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.â€
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spiritual condition

Postby Jim W » Tue May 29, 2007 1:48 am


One of the best indicators of a fit spiritual condition for me is this simple question-how am I treating others?
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Postby anniemac » Tue May 29, 2007 8:39 pm

Great post, Dallas, and I agree, Jim. How I'm treating others, both in actuality, and within my head, are both important. I have become more attuned to my thoughts, and when I am ripping someone to shreds in my head, I become aware of it, and can take action to turn that around.
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Postby garden variety » Wed May 30, 2007 4:28 pm

I guess Im gonna argue this one because Im an alcoholic.

Dallas said he thought "attitude" was a good indacator what condition my condition was in. Then Jim said answering the question how was he treating others would tell him about his spiritual conditioning.

Well I see some problems with those answers because you guys are alcoholics like me (I think). So if I go back to the "root" of this problem of mine - well its my big fat self-centered ego. The problem with my "attitude" is by the time I know I have a bad attitude there can be all sorts of damage done to people places and things around me. And if I ask myself the question how am I treating others - that big fat self-centered ego of mine is going to always give me a answer better than the way Im really treating others. Its like asking the fox to guard the hen house if Im the one that has to make the call about "what condition my condition is in."

Im saying this because just today somebody told me that I had a bad attitude. After they told me what I said and done (this was sometime last week at work) - then I saw it and said oh shoot its that bad - and said I am sorry and will work on improving my attitude because I should not be acting that way. Period. I knew they was telling the truth but here I didnt have that "disturbed" feeling and my attitude today was happy like it is most of the time. And if youd asked me how I was treating others up until today I would have said great with a smile. But guess what? I would have been lying to you and myself. Thats because Im an alcoholic with a big fat self-centered ego.

So to me the best way to check on "what condition my condition is in" is the magic of step 5. See I can admit to myself and to God pretty easy - its that "other human being" part that I cant weasel out of. Thats why they tell me in my home group to call at least 4 home group members including my sponsor every day. That way them "other human beings" can call you on your BS - and they can - and they do - and I dont like it. But thats the only way for me to get a good indicator about my spiritual conditioning - thats through another person telling me that I can count on to be honest.

And it has also worked the other way too. Just last week I asked a guy to tell me what were my talents and strengths like it said to do in a morning devotional. I been calling this guy regular every day for over 2 years now and hes not my sponsor. What he told me almost made me cry because it was good and it came out of the mouth of a guy with a whole lot years who will always call you on your BS.

Another thing I use is in some of them Hazelden morning devotionals like "In Gods Care" and "Keep it Simple". They have a suggested "action" part that if you follow them like its written - it will give you a good indicator of your spiritual condition too - and they have helped me to see myself. They make me use the tool of "reflection" that step 4 teaches me and it also helps me improve my spritual "fitness". Another guy I called a couple days ago says these are good because they are exercises and when I do them it makes me aware of myself - of whats right and wrong - then I start putting them into practice like the steps and before you know it - I have a better attitude and Im treating others better (especially my loved ones).
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Postby anniemac » Wed May 30, 2007 5:20 pm

Interesting point, GV ~ similar to when I'm not able to get to meetings as regularly as usual, yet I say to myself, "that's okay, I'm fine"...until I finally get to a meeting, and feel the "shift" begin to occur, back to being centered and calm, and only then do I realize that really, I hadn't been "fine"! :oops:
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Postby Dallas » Wed May 30, 2007 7:49 pm

My attitude = the sum total of my thoughts & beliefs.

If I've worked at keeping my ego smashed, taking an inventory of my grosser handicaps, and taking note of the ways that I may not have treated others with respect, patience, consideration, love and tolerance -- discussed this with another person, became entirely willing to have God change me and remove the handicaps, asked God to remove them -- made a list of anyone that I've harmed and made direct amends to them -- I find that my thoughts have automatically been placed on a Higher plane.

If I'm continuing to watch for selfishness, dishonesty and fear and resentments -- and I'm looking to see what I can add to the good in Life, and how I can be helpful to others -- I find that I am less likely to be harming others.... and I usually discover that my attitude has been pretty good and positive.

With the good and positive attitude -- that results from having good thoughts about Life, others and myself -- I've discovered that I have much less to inventory in the liabilities side of my inventory -- and a tremendous amount that I can add to my assets side of my inventory. And, that helps me to feel even better about myself. And, when I'm feeling good about me and what I'm doing, and going about Life with a good attitude -- I'm more likely to be of help to myself and to others -- and this adds to the "feeling good" cycle of my life.

I also have a conscience. My conscience seems to be a God given kind of thing -- that lets me know if there is integrity in my actions and in my thoughts.

The more that I've removed from myself that has blocked me from Good -- I discover that I'm having many more of those "hunches" and inspirational thoughts -- that seem to come from that Higher plane of Living.

For me -- I find that it is very difficult for me to treat someone else in a harmful or unhelpful way -- when my thinking is inspired by Good. Good actions leads to Good thinking and Good thinking automatically produces a Good attitude. :wink:

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Postby garden variety » Wed May 30, 2007 8:30 pm

Yeah. Attitude is all those things and mine has got over to the positive side more often than not. But you know I cant be perfect in this life, and I guess what I found out today about myself and that other person at work really came as a surprise. But it happened and I keep on doing the next right thing which was promptly admitting that I was wrong and going on to make amends. Like you said the next right thing keeps coming more automatic or like the book says Im going to "intuitively know" the right response to things that used to baffle me.

But theres those times like today when I need someone else to keep me accountable. Im glad the gal brought this to my attention and I dont think it would have happened this way if I wasnt looking to bring more of them positives into my life. For me and a bunch of other alcoholics I think getting delusional about how good I think I am can kinda creep up without too much notice. I heard a lead last night from a guy with 19 years and he said just that his ego can creep in and then it gets to be all about him. I guess I believe my big fat self-centered ego can crop up his ugly head at a moments notice so its OK for me to be accountable to my home group and sponsor on a daily basis.

Now about that higher plane of inspiration that comes too and its a good thing - a very good thing. One day I had someone steal from me not too long ago but that first "automatic" thought surprised me - I said to myself what would cause a person to be so desperate that theyed have to steal from someone they love. And I really felt sympathy for this person. Now these are things that would never have happened before because I would have been busy plotting my next move against them in return or at least cuss them out when I saw them again. But I cant really take credit for it because I believe thats the thing inside me thats created in the image of the God of my understanding.

And maybe thats why I think Id rather be safe and acountable to another human being then be thinking how good I am because I still remember what a mean old ugly and awful SOB I was. I mean I know we not supposed to regret the past but it also says we dont shut the door on it either. If I forget about the tears that came out of the eyes of the ones I loved because of my drunk misbehavior whos to say I wont repeat it again. I mean theres family that I hurt some 10 years ago thats seen me sober and my life turn around but they still havent got to trusting that I wont hurt them again - and its not a big fluffy positive thing to see that holding back in their eyes - like they want to let bygones be bygones but they hurt so bad they cant. Sometimes I really really wish I could go back in time and put those tears back into their eyes. They say it my home home group Id better always remember what Im capable of being without God or this fellowship.

Well anyways I might feel different when I get 20 years but I dont feel bad knowing what I do now because it helps me to be more careful about how I treat others. So today it works for me this way.
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Postby anniemac » Wed May 30, 2007 8:34 pm

Okay, Dallas....I do agree with you. Yet I also agree with GV. This is sometimes a real curse for me, by the way ~ being able to see more than one side of things...it leads me to confusion and an inability to form an opinion and stick to it. :oops: I suppose it's growth on my part to be able to change an opinion instead of stubbornly sticking with one that no longer serves me, but the internal back and forth of my opinions like a ping pong ball does get tiring for me!

In agreeing with what you wrote, though, Dallas, one question pops up for me: what, then, would be the point in incorporating a 10th Step in your daily life? If we know that our thoughts are on a higher plane because we've done the Step work, then what's to look at? And, if there is stuff to look at, then are our thoughts really on a higher plane? It seems a bit like the "which came first, the chicken or the egg". Yet, I do agree. I guess what's gnawing at me is that I can't substantiate why I agree, per se.
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Postby garden variety » Wed May 30, 2007 8:55 pm

Annies confused - imagine that?

I think you got to look long and hard at what Dallas said because if you dont have a positive attitude then your on a ship thats sinking. What I think hes saying is that if we have anything good it gets started with a little seed of hope. Whats good aboout the whole thing is the same thing thats bad about the whole thing. Now I bet that sounds confusing. But what happened to me is that the worst of my drunk escapades got transformed from "absurd, incredible, and tragic things" into the blessing of a journey of spiritual progress. Thats the miracle of it.

And those "absurd, incredible, and tragic things" I done while I was drinking also get transformed into something the new man or woman can identify with. You probably know what its like to hear someone else tell your story. And you said to yourself when you was new - wow finally someone who understands where I been! Then you get all teary-eyed because you found that you was among your own kind - you was a welcome misfit and they were not going to kick you out of AA even because of your deepest darkest secrets of the past. Somebody else did things just as nasty or nastier than you did.

Then out of all that you find hope. But you also get a warning that if your stuff wasnt as bad - you know that it will get that way if you start drinking again. I guess you can call this AA experience a "bittersweet" thing. Theres blessings on one hand but sorrowful reminders on the other. But the sum of it all is a life I never dreamed about with every day bringing on more transforming of bad to good. God thats sure a miracle when you look at how hopeless life was when we took our beat-up butts into the rooms.
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Postby anniemac » Wed May 30, 2007 9:05 pm

garden variety wrote:Annies confused - imagine that?


:lol: :oops: :shock: :roll:
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