Checking what condition my condition is in

Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery
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Postby Dallas » Wed May 30, 2007 9:52 pm

Only because you asked.... :lol:

anniemac wrote:being able to see more than one side of leads me to confusion and an inability to form an opinion and stick to it

I used to do that, too! Then, one day -- I asked myself "why does there need to be sides?" My answer was, "there wouldn't be two sides -- if I didn't have an opinion" So, I let go of my needs to have opinions and my need to have sides.

I think I got the idea after reading page 570, Big Book, 3rd Edition --

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance -- that principle is contempt prior to investigation." -- Herbert Spencer

Whenever I've got an opinion -- about anything -- I've discovered that my opinion, at some place in my life will be wrong. Whenever I have an opinion -- I've closed my mind to the acceptance of new information. I'm filtering new information -- to fit my opinion, and if it doesn't fit my opinion, I have a tendency to reject the new information. If I do that -- I can't keep an open mind -- and if I can't keep an open mind -- I can't learn anything new. I can only continue to operate on my old opinions.

When I have opinions -- my life ends up getting managed by my opinions. So, I try to let go of my opinions -- absolutely, or -- I end up with the same results that I had when I tried to hold on to my old idea -- my results would be nil.

For me -- I've been trying to do it differently. Rather than have "opinions" -- I try to keep an open mind with "fresh ideas." This allows me to approach my life with more flexibility in my thinking and living. I become less rigid -- which means I'm less likely to break!

When I keep my mind open -- and free of opinions -- and filled with fresh new ideas -- I'm less likely to become disturbed, when I get "new information" that adds more light to my older ideas -- I can easily let go of the ones that don't work for me, and trade them out for ideas that produce better results for me.

When I have opinions -- it tends to make me "want to be right" about something, or "right" about my information. If I'm right about something -- that would make someone else wrong about something. And, if I'm thinking that someone else is wrong about something -- that's how I'll treat them -- I'll treat them wrong! It would be difficult for me to show them love and tolerance, and to have patience and understanding. I would be making them mad at me -- or, I would be disturbed because of them.

So... "what if" there were no "rights" or "lefts"? What if we're all -- round? :wink: It no longer has energy on it for me and I no longer have to be "right" about anything -- and if I don't have to be "right" about anything -- then, there is nothing to fight about! :lol: We are "alright" -- where we are. And, it will help me -- so that I am not fighting anything or anyone! I can be surrendered. And, there is great peace for me -- and countless others -- when I'm in surrender. :wink:

When my mind is open and easily to change with new ideas -- some idea or some person who I might of opposed -- may suddenly be my new idea! :wink:

"If" I'm not going to regret my past -- nor wish to shut the door upon it -- I better find a way to keep my past very short, or just try to live in a way so that I have no past! And, this helps me to live in "new and fresh moments" -- which work for me better than "new and fresh days." All I really have is "the moment". I may not have the end of the day! So, I want to enjoy the moment! :wink:

I guess it's kind of like trying to incorporate one of our Traditions into my thinking and living. I can see how A.A. benefits from having "no opinions" on outside issues. I decided "why not try to adopt that attitude into my daily living? What would happen -- if I tried to live free of opinions?" So far, the results have been good for me. I've been more peaceful, serene, happy, feeling good, and less and less have I gotten disturbed about much of anything. All I can really say is: "It works for me."

Then, on "having sides" or "looking at two sides" -- "What if... there were no sides?" And, "What if what I'm looking at -- is really round, and I'm only seeing sides? I wonder what's around the horizon -- or up, or down or around from here?" I've tried this too. And, it works for me.

anniemac wrote:what, then, would be the point in incorporating a 10th Step in your daily life?

No points! Or... I would have sides! :lol: :lol:

For me -- Step 10 is about Growth and Moving Forward.

I used to look at Step 10, as if it were for "maintenance." Then, I realized -- that it appears to me, that nothing in life really gets "maintained." If it got maintained -- there would never be anything new -- and the old would always be old. Most everything seems to either be growing or decaying and always changing. Life appears to always be moving. Changing. And, that's where I want to be -- out in the front of life, feeling the breeze as I move forward into growth and change. And, that's what I now use Step 10 for -- "a Growing and Changing Step".

Those are my ideas at this time! And, in the next few seconds -- all those ideas could change! :lol:


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My name is Anne, I'm an alcoholic

Postby musicmode » Sat Jun 02, 2007 6:49 am

New information/new ideas=opportunity and possibilities...which leads to new opinions...leads to acceptance, which = growth. If I don't keep an open mind, I shut the door on possibities and opportunities..I stop learning...then I isolate, I'm defensive, I'm stuck in "my own little shop of ideas (aka, horrors--yes)"...leads to mindless acts, like--picking up a drink. I have been taught not to over-think, or over-analyze it (AA)...that over-analyzing it, all in itself can get the old hamster wheel upstairs squeakin' again, and we--yes, the word 'we' was used when I was taught this...we don't wanna go there. I was taught that when we isolate on an idea, that in itself can be confusing, also, it's a form of isolation we can't afford...leads to other types of isolation..which--can be where negative thoughts and bad attitudes begin to manifest, and without realizing it, we can project that onto others--with the same attitude some of us may have had when we were still drinking, and someone told us we were cut-off at the pub, or asked us if we thought we'd had enough to drink yet. I get tripped up on me-ism when I'm trying my best at something (let's say work, for example), maybe I'm struggling--and am in denial about it, or obstinate...and someone complains about the job I'm doing...don't they understand how difficult this is for me? or, can't they see how hard I'm trying? All of it a defensive me, me, me attack. I feel attacked, I become defensive...and the old noggin gets goin' thing...I'm negative and puttin' negative out there, and--here's an ouch realization: gee...I become vindictive :oops: . Then, I do this self-talk... :wink: --u-huh..self talk, like: just how many mistakes is ### other person-who #### making all the while he/she is watching mine...or, meaniwhile...I've seen that person do this, that, this...he/she should keep their concentration in their own back yard instead paying so close of attention to mine. The next thing I'm thinkin' wanna drink. Today...I turn to God as I understand Him. Do I really wanna drink? Undo all the good that's happened/is happening? Lose it all, hang-overs/sick...liver disease? Really? No.

Great topic, and great shares, gang. I really needed to see what I saw.

Keep comin' back, all,

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Postby Dallas » Sat Jun 02, 2007 6:40 pm

Hey Anne! Great to hear from you!

You've got to take time between those opportunities and possibilities... to keep checking in! I've missed you and your sharing!


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Postby anniemac » Mon Jun 04, 2007 8:00 pm

No points! Or... I would have sides!

Oh, Dallas, you crack me up!!! :lol:

By the way, I was playing Devil's advocate with my question - it's not that I don't understand the importance of Step 10.

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Postby Dallas » Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:03 pm

You Lil' advocate!!! :lol: :lol:

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