Spiritual Experience? Spiritual Awakening? A what....?

Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery
garden variety
Posts: 750
Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 7:39 pm

Postby garden variety » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:58 pm

Hi Anne,

I originally posted something the moderators thought was offensive, and that perhaps you may have thought offensive. For that I'm sorry. I'll post what I posted again, except, I will cheerfully switch places with you - because what you said applies to me in the exact same way.

Great to see your words again. Nice little insight that hit you, huh? It came at just the right time, and in the intense way you needed so that you could hear it, didn't it? Years of alcohol addiction and physical withdrawal, the peculiar effect of alcohol on the brain, the "manifestation" of what appears to be an allergic reaction, the "phenominon of craving" - its a wonder some of us didn't need to literally get struck by lightning.

Anne, thank you so much for a message that helped me today. God, however he is understood, sure has unique and powerful ways of cutting through years of chaos, physical destruction, and dilapadation of our spiritually and emotionally bankrupt minds with such a simple and sweet message.

Thats what God did that day for Anne. Intense? Yes. Incredible and unbelieveable? Yuppers. Did He pick her up by the scruff of the neck? Undoubtedly. I believe everything Anne said. Such a beautiful display of the true Grace of an unseen and mysterious Power far beyond any of our human limitations. God responded to Anne's simple question of desperation. "I'm lost and I don't know what to do. Please help me."

He lifted Anne up by the scruff of her neck and kissed her on the forehead. He responded by showing Anne the same thing he showed most of us.

"You don't have to live that way anymore. Trust me and come this way."

Anne painted a picture of the Perfect miracle of Grace and Mercy that was very similar to my own.

For me, I know my best friend would proabably help me if I needed it - at almost any time. If my best friend was President Bush, he might have me over to spend a night at the White House in his guest room - that is if he were my best friend and I asked. It seems that almost everyone has a best friend, and probably has more confidence in them than anyone else. The thing most important for me to realize that whomever my best friend is, they will probably respond to my need, BUT (and that's a big BUT), it will be at their pleasure or at their convenience.

Now I was in the same place as Anne, nothing more than a dying bum. A stumble-bum drunk who had no interest in anything but about how miserable my life had become. I wasn't concerned about my wife or kids. I wasn't concerned about the people who were shedding tears because, like Anne, I was powerless, and so were they - they were powerless over my alcoholism. Up until that day, I never paid the honest price for my "fun", but you can bet my loved ones paid double. There I was, oblivious to life anywhere around me, a self-centered and egotistical man in the midst of a crisis that me, and only me, brought on myself. Just like you, Anne, I was literally backed into a corner and about to get run down by a speeding freight train bound for hell. I didn't even know who I was talking to when I said in not so many words, "Please, I need help".

What happened to me? The same thing that happened to you. The Spirit of the Universe having "Infinite Intelleigence", stops His busy day in the middle of what He's doing, and He comes to me and gives me exactly the help I needed. He picked me up out of the dung-filled pig pen that had become my life, cleans off my forehead and smacks a big kiss of uncondtional love right between the eyes. The President would not do this even for his very his best friend that is living life the right way, but the Creator of the Universe did it for a stumble-bum alcoholic of the 100% hopeless vairiety like me.

Did we get what we deserved? Did any of us who have an understanding of a Power Greater than ourselves get what we honestly deserved in our moment of need?

That my friends is Grace and Mercy.

No human power could or would do that for me. No human power could or would do that for Anne or anyone else either.

But God could and would.

Are we blessed or what?

Posts: 409
Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:42 pm

Postby anniemac » Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:06 pm

[i][b]In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary
changes are described. Though it was not our intention to
create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless
concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an
immediate and overwhelming “God-consciousnessâ€

garden variety
Posts: 750
Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 7:39 pm

Postby garden variety » Wed Sep 05, 2007 11:02 am

anniemac wrote:My spiritual awakening was of the slow, gradual, 'educational' variety, and it was slow enough for me to, at times, think it really wasn't even happening and that I was imaging it or making it all up. I so badly wanted God to come to ME, too, and in a big way.

That was the story of my life -- I wanted everything in a BIG way. Grand, loud, over the top.

Now that I am content with slow and small, I can look back and see how much I've changed, and realize that I most certainly had to have some sort of spiritual awakening or I wouldn't be such a different person.

That is a beautiful example of how the 12 steps worked for you Annie. Your spiratual awakening is no less than for someone who did have that "white light" experience and transformation. The bottom line is, whether it was slow or fast, you still had that "profound alteration in your reaction to life" that could not have been done on your own effort - without the intervention of a Power greater than ourselves.

I think the "small miracles" or changes that happen in a person's life are sometimes more beautiful, or "attractive" than BIG changes. Sometimes when big "emotional displacements" happen to folks, that can sometimes bring about almost as much chaos as the drinking problem did - at least to the non-alcoholic loved ones. The "not-so-loud" educational variety of awakenings and even educational variety expereinces or "God-shots" that make a person think a thing out, have profound impact; and can and do create profound changes.

I also love what you said about "I wanted everything in a BIG way. Grand, loud, and over the top." Girl you must know me - or lived next door - or had someone spying on me! I can REALLY identify with that thought.

But it makes sense that God as you understand Him might not give you what you wanted in "BIG bold flying colors". It looks like He gave you what you needed. And what you needed is probably what you wanted all along. I love how God meets each of us right where we need to be met.

Great words from a great sober lady - thanks Annie!

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Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:42 pm

Postby anniemac » Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:10 pm

garden variety wrote:But it makes sense that God as you understand Him might not give you what you wanted in "BIG bold flying colors". It looks like He gave you what you needed. And what you needed is probably what you wanted all along. I love how God meets each of us right where we need to be met.

You betcha! :D

Jim W
Posts: 119
Joined: Tue May 30, 2006 12:27 pm

Postby Jim W » Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:57 pm

Anytime an alcoholic wakes up to the truth, that's a spiritual awakening.

Posts: 178
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:11 am

My name is Anne, I'm an alcoholic

Postby musicmode » Sun Sep 09, 2007 2:03 am


I didn't see anything offensive at all??? No apologies necessary 8) . Of all the topics discussed in AA, this one is my fave...I find it inspiring for one, and...I learn...about myself, and about others. If it weren't meant to be discussed, Bill W., wouldn't have brought it up to begin with. Without this topic, I lose serenity and sobriety. How did we get here? "...no human could have relieved us of our alcoholism...". Wasn't an elephant or a giraffe that did it for me. And, I admit...there are times when...this topic...helps me to regain focus, cuz...I can get to where I feel lost and confused. "We were spiritually sick, too" (BB)...I am riding around on 3 wheels instead of 4 when this topic is left out of the picture. Allow the Spirit to work and move us, for without it, we fall asleep at the wheel...leading me to a drink, not knowing how it happened. We keep the Spirit alive when we bring it to the table for discussion, at least, that is how I feel when it is the topic...I feel like "now we're getting in to the meat and potatoes".

Keep coming back, kids 8)

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Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:24 pm

Spiritual Awakening

Postby SusanG » Mon Apr 14, 2008 1:53 pm

SusanG, grateful alcoholic here.
My first recognizible spiritual awakening in sobriety came when I was willing to accept that the light at the end of the tunnel was perhaps not an oncoming train. Glad to be sober and in the light today.

Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:10 am

Postby Susan » Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:10 pm

Welcome, this is one of the best forums. :D

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Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 3:01 pm

Postby Calhoun » Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:12 pm

Calhoun here: alcaholic w/depression. I've never had any doubt there was a God, and when I was drinkin' and druggin' I was saying to him" I don't care abot you". What a selfish person I was when I was D&D. When I was sober I was a nice guy but I loved that rush when I yook a big slug , it hit my veins and then the powerlessness took over. I finally hit bottom and cried out to God"please help me" .I did'nt have the white light experience (but I would love to) .It was a slow progression in letting God take over. I know with some this can be a sensitive subject but I don't see how one can experience full recovery w/o some kind of spiritual awakening. I'm not talking religon but speaking of trying to get in touch with the supreme one. If you have doubts about God, HP or the God of your understanding, just go outside on a clear night somewhere there is not a lot of light and just look up. WOW

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