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Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

Postby garden variety » Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:49 am

Wow Lee...Great stuff!

Thanks for helping me today!
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Postby Dallas » Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:27 am

And, thank you, Paul!

I've missed you.

I'm working on those Father Bill W. files. I haven't forgotten.

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Shyness

Postby Jaysdad55 » Sun Feb 24, 2008 8:01 am

My name is Jay and I am an alcoholic,
Lee welcome and keep coming back.I as you could not talk to people when sober even in school I would cry when I had to get up in class and give a report.I sobered up 11/25/02 at the age of 47.I went to a 6 month program and at first I could not talk much. When I got out I started going to atlest 7 meetings a week, got a sponsor and did as he told me to do.Before I was a year sober he had me talking at a Saterday night speakers meeting.I laid awake for about a week and a half trying to put down what I was going to say. I relized that it did not matter how many times I ran it through my head I would not remember it come that night.So this is what I did.I put it out of my head and on the night that I had to share my story first thing I did was ask my Higher Power to come into my heart and through me speak.I was very surprised of the outcome.After the meeting a man came up to me and said that something I had said that came from the B.B. he had never heard to put the way I had said it.I still to this day have no idea what it was this person has 20+ years of sobrity.Today I speak all the time and not in just meetings put in front of 100's of people. It is my body but not me speaking.I know this because if I do not ask my Higher Power to come into my heart and speak through me I stumble through it.So hang in there and if you ask for it, it will come to you. Thank you for allowing me to share.
Jay
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Postby Dallas » Sun Feb 24, 2008 12:55 pm

JaysDad wrote:I was a year sober he had me talking at a Saterday night speakers meeting.I laid awake for about a week and a half trying to put down what I was going to say. I relized that it did not matter how many times I ran it through my head I would not remember it come that night.


:lol: :lol:

Thanks for sharing JaysDad!

That seems to be a common problem that most all of us have experienced. I know that it was for me.

The place that I most dreaded to speak but it was such an honor to speak, was in my Home Group. It seemed to me that the pillars of A.A. all attended my Home Group and at the speaker's meeting, often our speakers were speakers that spoke at A.A. conventions around the world. I felt like such a worm for the months leading up to the date that I was supposed to speak and every time I felt as though I had given the worse A.A. talk in history! :lol: It would literally make me sick thinking about it.... both, before and after the talk! My head would spin for a week telling myself how bad that I did.

And, way before that... when I was about a year sober I would feel sick with anxiety knowing I had to talk at a speakers meeting. I could do okay in H & I panels, recovery houses, treatment centers, and sharing in a meeting, 12 Step calls, and one-on-one -- and I most often enjoyed it. But getting up to a microphone or behind a podium it felt like panic attack for me.

I came to realize that it was doing it sober... was what my hang up was. And, also speaking from the heart... where I might break down and cry or shed a few tears in public was what scared me most. Or, thinking about "what if my mind just goes totally blank and I can't even remember my name!" :lol: :lol:

When I was still drinking I could stand up in front of hundreds or even a thousands... and even in front of TV cameras, and it wouldn't bother me at all. It was being sober... that scared the heck out of me. I couldn't seem to put a complete sentence together when I was newly sober and I stuttered a lot. :lol:

Finally, after I got to a place where I wasn't taking myself so serious, and realized that I couldn't get anyone drunk or sober with anything that I was going to say -- I tried introducing myself with something like "Hi I'm such a dork that I can't even speak without a drink! And, I'm sober.... So, try not to take anything that I say too serious... and, please... don't go out and have a drink over it!" :lol: That seemed to take the pressure off of me.

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