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Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

Postby Dallas » Wed Jan 02, 2008 7:38 pm

Structure and discipline.

:lol: :lol:

The two least equipped areas of me and my life
became the most vital areas of my recovery.
Structure and discipline.

Who the heck likes discipline?

I had none. My life was all about doing what I wanted to do and not doing anything that I didn't want to do. I was in defiance of everything and everyone. It was my way or the highway.

That was one of the first changes that I had to work on so that I could keep coming back -- sober. :wink:

I had to learn to do some other things that I just hated to do. I would have been willing to do anything else! But, I'm alcoholic and I want to be sober and happy.

Eventually, I was able to learn how to be reasonably okay-with, and sometimes even happy... while doing the things that I didn't want to do.

And, other times... I bit my tongue, yelled, screamed, bit-ched, whined, moaned, drudged.... but... did it anyway. It kept me sober. :lol:

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Postby garden variety » Thu Jan 03, 2008 1:45 pm

This should be funny to you all.

I was gonna comment on this thread, but I kept on putting it off because I DIDN"T WANT TO!

Sometimes I wish Dallas would just hush up with his constant references to ACTION. But I'm glad he keeps that chorus line going. And what he said is very true with me. It don't seem to matter how long I've been sober, I have this "natural" tendency to not like work - which is what this is all about.

I don't want to do things becasue I'm lazy. Like the book says that sometimes I just keep on thinking there is some way to "beat the game" - that there is a softer, easier way. I mentioned this before but I think I can say it again. I've heard folks say that "laziness" is the "original sin". When I sit here and look at all the assorted crazy things folks do - what is a "sin" to one might not be a "sin" to another. But if there is one thing that cuts across the board with every man, woman, and child, it is being lazy. Now Geoff might chime in with "Here - here!" (I love that).

Then Dallas has the audacity to crank it up a notch by throwing in that totally foreign language word "discipline". Good god bro, are you trying to give me an annuerism? But once again its sad but true.

Now how this works for me is this way. I take the things that I dread to do and put them on my list that is in my little hand-held phone that chirps like a bird to remind me about things I want to forget. Then when I start my day, lets say a "free day" or "weekend day" like Saturday, I'll look at that list, and hold my nose, and pick out 2-3 of the last things I want to do. Then I'll start doing them first.

(By the way, I learned this habit of "discipline" ~YUCK!~ from that fellow M. Scott Peck in a book he wrote called "The Road Less Travelled.")

It's usally only getting started with that first task that is hardest for me. Once I buzz through the first thing, I go on and do a couple more things that I didn't want to do. Then after maybe just a few hours, I'm done with the things I don't want to do. Then I have the rest of the day to do the things I do want to do - and there is ALWAYS a lot of time left to do that. And my evening isn't filled with dread or worry about doing the things I don't want to do because they're done.

So what I've learned is that if I do this steady and consistent every day for about a month - that is doing what I don't want to do first. Then it becomes a habit. I still have those dreadful thoughts when I first start, but they go away faster because I know there will be time left at the end of the day to do things that are more fun.

Then at the end of the day when I do my tenth step end-of-day inventory, I always ask this question "What did I do today that was constructive." Well those dreadful things are the first ones to get out there, but they're done. But now instead feeling dread, I feel relief that I was indeed "productive" that day and I got things done I never thought I'd get done - and then there is always more things on top of them. By the end of that inventory, I'm feeling quite the ladd! I mean I'm actually proud of myself and many days I'm amazed.

Now I can take this out a little farther and show you another benefit of this habit of doing things I don't want to do first. Most of the time at the end-of-day inventory I find that my "constructive" actions far FAR outnumber my "destructive" actions. That's how it's been after a while of doing this and being sober.

Then when I walk down the street with my daughter who hated my guts at one time, and she says "I love you, dad" and kisses me, I know why. Last time it happened this thought crossed my mind and I said it out loud - "I'm a worthwhile person because I do worthwhile things." So suddenly I REALIZE that I'm seeing myself not as a loser any more. And as Dallas would say, this thing just turns into a bigger cycle of "good chasing after more good". And it's 100% true.

Then I can take this even one more step farther - if you can believe that! My life then becomes living proof of a certain "Great Fact" that's spoken of at the end of the "basic text" of the Big Book". It goes:

"See to it your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others."

Now I would have said that is just all fluff and "positive thinking" crap at one time. But as sure as that sun rises and sets, I've seen that saying come true in my life. So that's how I know it is a "Great Fact" because I was a witness to it happening in my life, and in the lives of more folks than I can count.

Hey Dallas? Here's one I'll throw at you. You know I love that word "byproduct". What is the "byproduct" of "Action. Action. And more Action"?

Change! :D
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Postby Dallas » Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:04 pm

That certainly is one of the many positive by-products of action and more action!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks for sharing, Paul.

BTW: Did you know that people who travel a path of least resistance often end up travelling a very crooked path? :wink:

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Postby Lee » Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:47 pm

Gratitude was the subject, and I was thankful for that.

Right now the number #1 thing on my gratitude list is that I've been sober longer than I have ever been. I guess I could even say it is a miracle.
The 2nd thing on my list is that A.A. is making me a better person.
I never realized what a ass I have always been.
Selfcentered, Greety, and Thinking I aways new best.
WOW, I can feel the humility now.
I can also feel 1,5, and 9 of the promises too.
Sharing about gratitude let me feel good about my self, and afterwards a couple of the members even thanked me for sharing that with them.
I guess sharing isn't as scary as I thought it would be. :)

JUST DO IT ANYWAY - REGARDLESS IF I THINK IT WILL HELP OR NOT.

Simple as that. :D

Thank you so much for helping me along the way. God bless.
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Postby dahlgren » Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:05 am

That's great Lee. You know it's uncanny how this works, inevitably when I'm at a meeting either a topic is brought up or someone says something which is exactly what I need to hear or talk about at that exact time.

Fearful? Sharing is not as scary as you thought it would be.

Sounds to me like maybe you're experiencing the 2nd Promise some also.
"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it".

What more is sharing but our Experience, Strength and Hope which is nothing more than our past. Keep up the good work my friend.

Keep coming back, you'll never know how much you help me.

In love and recovery,
Mike
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Postby Lee » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:28 pm

Thanks Mike.

I herd this at a meeting the other day and I just have to share it.
One of the members said this about action.

Your actions are your only true belongings.
You cannot escape the consequences of your actions.
Your actions are the ground on which you stand.

I just thought that was great. I had to write it down.
Well stay sober and God bless.

Lee
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Postby Lee » Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:42 pm

Today is my 100th day without a drink. :wink:

I feel pretty good I guess. I've gained about 20 lbs. since I quit drinking.
I've got to say that Gateway rehab has been the most important part of my recovery because they have shown me the way of life in A.A.
The good people in A.A. have welcomed me with open arms and understanding.
These are no doubt some of the nicest people I have ever met.
I want to thank you people here at Step12 for your wisdom and sharing. I learn alot from this site and I want to learn more.

GOD bless you all for helping me stay sober.

Lee
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Postby dahlgren » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:12 pm

Way to go Lee, congratulations to you. It sure is an amazing journey and I'm glad you're on it with me and all the rest.

In love and recovery,
Mike
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Postby SoberinSC » Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:18 pm

WOOHOO Lee! CONGRATES!!

Nice to meet you btw!

God bless!
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Postby Dallas » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:25 am

Congratulations Lee!!!!

Instead of "keep coming back" --- JUST DON'T LEAVE!!!!

Hurry back so that we can know more of what's going on with you and in your area!!!

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