This should be funny to you all.
I was gonna comment on this thread, but I kept on putting it off because I DIDN"T WANT TO!
Sometimes I wish Dallas would just hush up with his constant references to ACTION. But I'm glad he keeps that chorus line going. And what he said is very true with me. It don't seem to matter how long I've been sober, I have this "natural" tendency to not like work - which is what this is all about.
I don't want to do things becasue I'm lazy. Like the book says that sometimes I just keep on thinking there is some way to "beat the game" - that there is a softer, easier way. I mentioned this before but I think I can say it again. I've heard folks say that "laziness" is the "original sin". When I sit here and look at all the assorted crazy things folks do - what is a "sin" to one might not be a "sin" to another. But if there is one thing that cuts across the board with every man, woman, and child, it is being lazy. Now Geoff might chime in with "Here - here!" (I love that).
Then Dallas has the audacity to crank it up a notch by throwing in that totally foreign language word "discipline". Good god bro, are you trying to give me an annuerism? But once again its sad but true.
Now how this works for me is this way. I take the things that I dread to do and put them on my list that is in my little hand-held phone that chirps like a bird to remind me about things I want to forget. Then when I start my day, lets say a "free day" or "weekend day" like Saturday, I'll look at that list, and hold my nose, and pick out 2-3 of the
last things I want to do. Then I'll start doing them
first.
(By the way, I learned this habit of "discipline" ~YUCK!~ from that fellow M. Scott Peck in a book he wrote called "The Road Less Travelled.")
It's usally only getting started with that first task that is hardest for me. Once I buzz through the first thing, I go on and do a couple more things that I didn't want to do. Then after maybe just a few hours, I'm done with the things I don't want to do. Then I have the rest of the day to do the things I do want to do - and there is ALWAYS a lot of time left to do that. And my evening isn't filled with dread or worry about doing the things I don't want to do because they're done.
So what I've learned is that if I do this steady and consistent every day for about a month - that is doing what I don't want to do first. Then it becomes a habit. I still have those dreadful thoughts when I first start, but they go away faster because I know there will be time left at the end of the day to do things that are more fun.
Then at the end of the day when I do my tenth step end-of-day inventory, I always ask this question "What did I do today that was constructive." Well those dreadful things are the first ones to get out there, but they're done. But now instead feeling dread, I feel relief that I was indeed "productive" that day and I got things done I never thought I'd get done - and then there is always more things on top of them. By the end of that inventory, I'm feeling quite the ladd! I mean I'm actually proud of myself and many days I'm amazed.
Now I can take this out a little farther and show you another benefit of this habit of doing things I don't want to do first. Most of the time at the end-of-day inventory I find that my "constructive" actions far FAR outnumber my "destructive" actions. That's how it's been after a while of doing this and being sober.
Then when I walk down the street with my daughter who hated my guts at one time, and she says "I love you, dad" and kisses me, I know why. Last time it happened this thought crossed my mind and I said it out loud - "I'm a worthwhile person because I do worthwhile things." So suddenly I REALIZE that I'm seeing myself not as a loser any more. And as Dallas would say, this thing just turns into a bigger cycle of "good chasing after more good". And it's 100% true.
Then I can take this even one more step farther - if you can believe that! My life then becomes living proof of a certain "Great Fact" that's spoken of at the end of the "basic text" of the Big Book". It goes:
"See to it your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others."
Now I would have said that is just all fluff and "positive thinking" crap at one time. But as sure as that sun rises and sets, I've seen that saying come true in my life. So that's how I know it is a "Great Fact" because I was a witness to it happening in my life, and in the lives of more folks than I can count.
Hey Dallas? Here's one I'll throw at you. You know I love that word "byproduct". What is the "byproduct" of "Action. Action. And more Action"?
Change!
