Experiences along the way that bring us closer to our Higher Power in 12 Step Sobriety and Moments of Clarity.
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Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 5:26 pm

Postby crickit » Fri Sep 09, 2005 2:41 pm

Wow, some really good posts. I know I have so much more to learn.

I guess my point is that chaos is going to happen. Now here goes my analytical brain but I think I'm not being too clear as to what I mean because of the words being used. Take 'chaos' for example. Chaos is actually a perception of events not the actual event itself. In saying that I was using the term as the actual event. Take the situations between my sisters. The actual event was that they weren't talking to each other and because I was the only one that talked to both I was left in the middle. My responsibility in that was that I 'chose' to try to help them sort things out. It became very stressful for me but I had a hard time letting go because I felt like I was the only hope of them working things out. When I decided to let go and let god it helped me relieve myself of that responsiblity and therefore removed the chaos it was causing me. I'm not saying that everytime something happens I let go and let god. But there comes a point that you've done everything you can to right things and the chaos is still there. The event that is causing you stress is not going to go away. So at that point you can chose to keep dwelling on it, looking for possible ways to 'fix' things and drive ourselves mad trying to control the outcome. Or we can rest assured that we've done the best we could and now it's in gods hands.

My other point was that '#### happens' and sometimes there is no need for blame. Blame causes resentment no matter how you look at it. There are so many examples I could give of things that happen to people just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Take the hurricane. We see a family sitting on the roof of there house with no food, dead bodies flooting beside the house and a 5 year old girl crying desperately. We see that as totally chaos. We see the mother trying to comfort her daughter. Is she to take the blame herself for living there. Does she blame her husband for being transfered there because of his job. Does she blame god for alowing this to happen to her family. Or does she chose to 'accept' what has happened and let go and let god. Does she stay connected with her higher power and trust the that will give her the strength to through the chaos.

The situation with my son is a little different because I did have a part to play in that which is why I have aloud myself to feel guilty for so long. I have cried myself to sleep many nights praying and praying for guidence. Thinking over and over about how I can make things right. When it got to the point that I couldn't do anymore I had to let go and let god. I keep working my program, getting better everyday and hope that someday they will come around and we can be a family again. In my opinion things got way out of control. I have taken ownership for my part in things and have done everything I can possibly think of to set things straight but at this point I feel like I got sentenced to life in prison for J-walking LOL.

I guess this isn't making anymore sense LOL. I guess in the simplest terms is '#### happens' it's the way you percieve it and deal with it that makes a different. To place 'blame' on anyone or anything or think of all the 'what if's' doesn't really matter after the fact. It is possible for someone to do all the right things and still have bad things happen to them which is what I mean by sometimes we just exist in a situation. Take the example of a woman walking down the street, 9:00 at night, after work and she gets raped. Does she worry about what she should have done differently. Does she blame herself for having her skirt to short or her shirt too low or working so late. Does she focus on the attacters inventory and try to figure out why. Is this chaos. Of course it is. What was her part in it. She was there. It's what she does about it that matters. She trusts that her higher power will give her the strength to get through the chaos and possibly learn how she can takes steps to possibly avoid it in the future. But can she guarentee that by doing everything she can to avoid the situation happening again that it won't happen again. Of course not. Not unless she locks herself in her house under guard.

I hope I've explained this a little better.


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