My sponsor's favorite saying is, "Alcoholics treat loneliness with isolation" !!
I didn't drink in bars either: mostly at home. But, I really like people, so I'd often force myself to go out to friend's houses or parties or wherever & try to control my drinking. Guess how THAT worked!
It was hard for me to communicate with, or relate to people when I was drunk & then my feelings would get hurt & I'd go home & "drink at them" to oblivion.
When I read the part in the book that we know loneliness such as few do, I cried. That was me. Everyone else seemed so connected & I was lost in space. What was wrong with me? I couldn't fix the problem cuz I didn't know what it was.
Once I got into the steps I saw that I
wasn't connected to me, to others or to a Higher Power. I was just...gone. But, I was assured that there was a solution, so might as well go for it. I didn't have anything to lose, cuz I was already lost.
I still marvel to this day that the book is right! That everything it says is true about this program of recovery, & that it works!
Hope I never stop marveling.
When I start isolating myself from meetings or other alcoholics, it can become a habit, like anything else I'm doing or not doing. This is not a safe place for me to be cuz then I'm in my head again. One of the first things I heard at a meeting was, "Your mind is like a bad neighborhood - you don't want to go there alone!"
I still like parties & picnics & dances & all the social fun, but working with others is the very best way for me to avoid isolation. If I'm throwing out a rope to a drowning person, I have to BE at the other end of that rope! And not just with wise words & pious platitudes - they need real experience, strength & hope. Real understanding. Real recovery. A real solution that I'm living.
Being approachable, available & accountable keeps me connected in a way nothing else does.
Love you, Cess