One year first step

Experiences along the way that bring us closer to our Higher Power in 12 Step Sobriety and Moments of Clarity.
Posts: 56
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 12:14 pm

One year first step

Postby merckx » Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:59 pm

It took about six months of talking with my coworker, who is now my sponsor, to realize that I was sicker than I thought I was and living as a dry drunk. It took another six months to realize I needed to work the Twelve Steps. I would argue with my sponsor about how I didn't need to formally work the 12 Steps because I had already "informally" worked them. After all I had "controlled" my drinking.

When I was finally willing to work the steps, my sponsor continually pointed me back to the first step because I hadn't "gotten it yet". Then one day I got it. I was riding my bicycle (if the name didn't give it away I am an avid cyclist) thinking about why I wasn't able to progress past the first step. In my head I knew I was powerless and my life had become unmanaegable but somewhere deep inside me I still believed I could fix it.

During this time, there were some forest fires out west, and the morning of my ride I saw footage of flames approaching a house. They talked about people refusing to evacuate because they wanted to save their houses and the financial costs and loss of life associated with rescuing these people. People who realized that they were powerless over the fire put down their shovels and hoses and left. People who thought they could control the fire stayed ... and many died.

As I rode my bike I realized that I was like a man, whose house was in the path of a raging fire, standing in the back yard with a water hose believing he could save his house. People who are sane but the hose down. On that ride I talked to my higher power and put down the hose.

I've been tempted to pick back up the hose from time to time and each time I reminded that I am a man with a garden hose trying to put out a raging forest fire.

Posts: 24
Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:44 am

Postby Hionlife » Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:59 pm

Merckx very well put. Thx for sharing your story. When you put it that way...Who couldn't relate? I have met a few dry drunks in my day...My X stayed dry for quite a while..then went on a death run and drank himself to death in a little over a year. I can't live like that. I would rather be drunk then dry.....sooooo I just try to keep up the daily maintenance for my sobriety and pay in a little extra insurance by helping others. Just a few hours of feeling dry and empty will bring me to my knees...and then I am back on the right track! :wink:

Return to “12 Step Sobriety and Moments of Clarity”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest