I know its not my path and whatever he does is his choice but I don't understand what he is going through and why he has started acting the way he has. Any response would help....
Welcome to the site, Clarity! I wish you the best!!!
If I were you -- my respnse would be:
1. I would want to forget the idea of trying to understand him. It's a waste of valuable time that I could be using on myself.
2. I'd be thinking of myself and the baby. And, using my time to better understand myself -- and understand the responsibility of being a single parent.... and using my time to better prepare and support us.
3. I'd forget about him -- and move on.
4. I'd make a firm decision "not to do that again with anyone."
That's what my response would be. My question to you, would be... what is your response going to be?
Yesterday is history -- tomorrow is mystery -- and all that I really have is RIGHT NOW. There isn't anything I can do -- to go back in the past and change the past.
The past is done. But, the past is only complete for me... when I wake up to the NOW. Until I wake up to the past being the past -- I'm still living in the past. And, if I'm living in the past -- there is nothing I can to to change it or make it better or different. It will always be what it was... the past. If the past was miserable or had problems -- my NOW will be miserable and full of problems -- because I'm living in my past.
Tomorrow isn't here. Tomorrow may never be here. If there is a tomorrow, and I'm still living in my past today -- my tomorrow will be nothing different than my today. Miserable and full of the same old same old problems.
However, if I make a decision, and stick with it, to live in the RIGHT NOW and keep my head out of the crap-ola of the past -- and out of the wish-full thinkings of tomorrow -- I can be busy right NOW... doing something that will make tomorrow different -- if there is a tomorrow.
I don't know if my response will be helpful to you. My guess is: it won't. But, it will somehow, be helpful to me, and much more helpful to me -- than it will be for you. So, I thank you for asking -- because without your question -- I would have no response -- and without my response, I would fail at getting help today.
My heart goes out to you. I understand both sides of the fence in those kinds of difficulties. I was once a practicing addict, an alcoholic -- and also a new alcoholic in recovery. And, I was also once, a single parent. And, the partner of a couple of others -- that I caused to be single parents. Regardless of which side the fence your on, or what your role is -- it sucks. That was my experience. But, I got on with my life. While living in the PRESENT the NOW, I did what I could to make amends for the past -- without living in the past. I can't say that it helped anyone very much -- other than, it helped me, to make the amends. It didn't change anything. I just felt cleaner inside for offering to do what I could to make things right... without going back into the past and trying to change it.
Regardless of where you are at today... Today, is the first of one of the last days of your life. If you knew, that this was the last day of your life -- what would you do? And, what would you do different today? I believe that this is the KEY to having a beautiful tomorrow -- if I have a tomorrow. The reason I believe that is -- this is what I did yesterday. And, I see, now that I'm doing it again, today -- how much of a better start it gave me today.
Keep coming back. If I can help -- I'm here for you. Hopefully, if I can find a way to be of help to you -- it will help me to rub out some of the record of my own past.