Page 152 of Alcoholics Anonymous:
"Yes, I'm willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?"
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of you existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you."
I love this page in the BB, it reminds me that I have to get out there and enjoy life...and where I am learning to do that is in the fellowship. God knows it isn't easy to interact with people sober....I have to learn as I go along. To be sober and to have relationships in sobriety is hard for me to do sometimes. I'm not talking about dating relationships, just learning how to be a friend and to accept friendship. I didnt trust people before I came into the program, and sometimes I find it hard to trust now. But I do know that the people I sit in rooms with every week have the same problem I do....we have been hurt...we have hurt others.....we dont trust....we shouldn't have been trusted at some point in our life's.....we are/were scared of people and sometime of ourselves. We are all alcoholics. We will always be alcoholics....sometimes we may mess up, sometimes we may hurt each other, sometime we may get hurt.....But all in all we do try...I know I try.....everyday to keep being the person I know I can be.......I know I see everyday other trying to be the person they can be.....I see myself and others learning and growing.....And I hope the only day I dont try to learn and grow is the day I take my last breath.
There are miracles in the rooms of AA. Some yet to be seen and some right before your eyes. Some drop the ball.....some never do.....and some pick it back up and run harder than before with it.
The fellowship is a safe haven for me.....as I am sure it is for others as well.
I forget that sometimes, and seem to think only along the lines of how the fellowship could be doing better, when I need to think of how is is doing good.....A wise man told me one time, that what I think, will manifest itself in my life....so if I think ill of the fellowship, then it will become sick, in my mind. I want to think good thoughts of the fellowship so it will always be a great place in my mind.
I hope I didnt ramble too much and that made since.